A shot in the dark...

Don't worry, I know this will sound negative but it hasn't really rained on my parade to the point where the parade is cancelled.

We just got back from the therapist. I'm not really sure how therapy is supposed to work, but for us, this is how it's been going recently. I read books about reactive attachment disorder and about attaching in adoption and she listens to the issues we've been having and I tell her what I've read and tried and the way the house works. Sometimes she yawns and asks another question and sometimes nothing.

Anyone--is this the way it's supposed to work?

At first she gave the kids things to try:Angry Monster Game when they were upset, etc... but now nothin'.

I don't really feel like we are getting anything out of therapy. I do not like to hear myself talk. I'm looking for help. I understand there's no cut and dry solution and that there might not even be a solution. But I at least need some support if I am going to be spending chunks of my life in a waiting room.

The therapist has been telling me that I need to take care of myself and I need to do this and that. She's been asking the kids in a round about way how I handle things and if I lose it. I guess she didn't get the answer she wanted.

I wanted to take a week off next week to get the things that I wanted done before it became truly stressful. I started to think about all that needed to be done and came to the conclusion that I should take a week off and be ahead of the game, get some rest, tie up loose ends around the house. Spend time as a family together. One week.

This is truly the first time that I have ever made a decision to do that instead of just dealing with the stress and the crap. In essence, I was asking for help. I need a break to take care of my business instead of letting business pile up. Does that make sense?

I asked her today, a week in advance about taking the week off. She was pissed. She said she gives my family 6 hours a week and that she doesn't think I should take the time because we will get sick and we will have to miss and we already missed a week (hmmm, would that be 1 bronchititis, 2 strep throats and two colds where we missed a day or is she actually talking about the adoption in another state?) She rushed on to say she knows she missed a week. But if we are being exact that's three weeks. She got sick the week before she was going out of town and that became two weeks and then she had a conference a few weeks ago where she was gone a whole week.

I don't want to be nitpicky. But come on. I felt threatened by her response and another time when I had suggested that if a child could not stop tantruming enough to get dressed and get in the car to come see her maybe the child shouldn't come. She jumped on my before I could finish saying that I would switch with another child instead. She said she had to make a living.

I understand these things. But maybe it's time for us to "make a living" by spending our time outdoors, cheering our kids on and helping them make new friends instead of cooping them up with an adult where they play?

I wish I knew someone in a similar situation because I don't know whether this therapy thing is right or not.

I told her that I was just trying to take the week off to take care of myself and to get on top of things before they became huge like she suggested and then she told me that it's still early in the week and I should try to get the bulk of what I needed done and go from there.

Does that even seem right?