And then it will be over...

As I sat in the therapist's office waiting for my kids, I realized that I was feeling very ill. I wondered if it was just being in the office and the stress of all the BS that was making me feel that way.

Poufy came out as I was calling Hubs to confirm that he hadn't thought of something else I needed to pick up because even though I have a cell phone it's always when I walk through the door that I hear "Oh yeah!, I was gonna call you...we need...". ARGH!

Anyway, Poufy came out and she was staring at me, I finally asked her why she was acting weird. She told me what had transpired. When she told me that, I asked yet again where she got the "Other things" part. They all were chiming that they wanted to do other things. I've never promised them other things. I've told them they can do activities when they earn, when they act their age, and when they are doing the things they are supposed to do. Always.

Because when they did softball, I paid a TON of money for banquets and stuff that they didn't even end up going to. I learned my lesson.

I started to get suspicious about what exactly was going on here. I started questioning. I really liked the new therapist until I had to let her go. I mean if the kids at different times were reporting to me and Hubs that she was weird and mean and they didn't like her, how much therapy can they get done? When I talked about terminating, that's when the claws came out. She's been unprofessional and mean to me ever since.

I think she thinks I am saying stuff about her. As childish as that is, I'm not. Apparently, the oldest said something about her doing it for the money, and how could she not deduce that when she's been with me and the therapist has talked about how many hours she puts aside for my family and how she needs to make a living, etc...?

I just found out inadvertently that Poufy asked her if she sees them for money. Grrreat!

I wish the therapist would just talk to me. She knows the kids are habitual liars. It's part of their diagnosis. *shaking my head*

Anyway, the other issue is the boy. He knows how to put on a good show. Really. The previous therapist had said that about him, but I didn't quite understand what he meant until the Boy's session this past week. You see now that we are terminating, the therapist is working on bonding issues.

Well, the boy knows the right things to say. He told the therapist he was damaged because his mom didn't feed him baby food. As the BS was getting deeper. I did stiffen and I pulled away as the therapist leaned in closer and closer giving him the exact reaction he wanted. He was eating it up.

I'm not discounting that it may be an issue but I have to wonder since I had been talking to Hubs in our bedroom at night well after their bedtime about how I couldn't remember seeing jars of baby food, etc... the night before whether he was pulling from that and testing the waters.

He's never said he's damaged. I didn't even think he knew what the word meant. He made up a story about how the oldest said that but I know she doesn't use that word either and I asked her about it and she said it never happened.

Anyway, the writing was on the wall, and I understood now how he was comfortable in the victim role and willing to perpetuate it for as long as he was getting the reaction he wanted. When I redirected from that to something else (because it was so obvious to me it was BS) he tried to play with her toys and she snapped at him.

The boy uses his biological parents as a crutch. I know he has issues and trauma. No doubt at all. But when he uses it for reasons like: not being able to count by tens, or mainly to get out of things he doesn't want to do. It's total BS. Especially when I turn it and say something like "well, if you are feeling that way maybe it's not a good idea to go outside" and then all of a sudden he's fine.

At any rate, I finally laid down a schedule with her and our last day will be next Thursday. Sadly enough, I'm not sure that I am relieved. I keep telling myself it is the right decision but only time will tell really.