I don't know if it's just me, or if it's the town I live in or hell, maybe even the color of my skin and the trail of kids behind me and all those stereotypes that go along with that... but just in case I didn't go into it before, the oldest has what is called a failed root canal.
Now I think all of us who adopt get some form of medical assistance until the child reaches 18. My kids get Medi-Cal if they were ever to live in California. In my state all kids under 18 are covered under Medicaid. So my state picks up the bill for my kids. However, I was pissed to find out that in the event of a failed root canal, no other dentist will touch the tooth because Medicaid won't pay.
So, here the oldest sits with an infection in this failed root canal because they left the tip in there and NO one but the jacked up place I refuse to take her back to will touch her. Except, I found one dentist who was willing to give her antibiotics. She was on them for 10 days and it seems to have done the trick for now.
Usually, it takes months to schedule my kids in. This place seemed to be ok. At least, I thought it was the place but, today came to realize it was the hygienist we had, not the place. Anyhow, I digress... the nice woman at the counter said she could get the oldest in for a cleaning the day after her antibiotics finished so that they could also check up on her tooth situation. I said "sure!"
Now, I can't remember if I blogged it or not, but I just dropped a chunk of change to get my own teeth cleaned and looked at because my wisdom teeth are impacted. I was not treated anywhere near like they were. Sure, I paid cash... but this place was fabulous. It was a pleasant experience. I chatted with the staff, they admired my wedding rings. It was like visiting old friends and I only had been there that day. The follow up appointment was just as great. Seriously, I've never been treated the way Hubbins and my kids have been treated. Ever.
Fast forward to today, we get a hygienist with a thick accent, the office is overflowing this time with tons of screaming kids. There are only partitions separating stations no closed rooms. I have hearing loss. When it's loud like that, I can't hear the person in front of me and I try to read lips, but this was difficult. I was about to tell the hygienist that when she totally blew me off. I just thought, "whatever."
She's working on the oldest and I'm thinking "Holy hell! They didn't practically rip my teeth out like that and I hadn't been in 5 years!" Mine was a deep cleaning the first time and the second appointment was a regular cleaning. I do have to struggle a bit with getting the oldest to take care of her teeth, but there's also the decade of abuse and neglect. She has the worse teeth because by the time I got her most of her permanent teeth were in and the damage was done. To me, the fact that she had no new cavities was a victory.
By this time, the loud kids in the next area had left and I heard the hygienist tell the oldest it was her fault the cleaning was so rough. This pissed me off.
When she was done the dentist came in and I asked about the failed root canal. I asked if it would be prone to infection because the tip was left in there. He asked me what I meant by "prone". Uh...yeah. You know, more likely to get infected than if the tip wasn't there? Is this something we should have fixed or was this a fluke? Then he asked me "fluke?" So instead, I asked about braces. She hadn't lost all her teeth. She had like two left and the other dentist suggested that she would need braces once she lost those teeth. I asked if all her permanent teeth were in, he said yes but told me she was fine. I said "really, because the other dentist said she would need braces once the other teeth fell out." He told me Medicaid wouldn't pay for it and that she looked fine.
Hmmmmm.... I don't recall asking who would pay for it. The other dentist had already told me about $4000 is what I should expect to pay at least. When I had spoke to him last about the failed root canal, my point was that the job was done shitty and it should be fixed and she should be able to go some place else and not back to the place that jacked her up. Medicaid should get their money back from the cracker jack I took her to before. (BTW, her godmother told me it was a great place and I took all my kids there once and never again. SS left with bruises on her face and she wasn't even resisting. They were trying to make prebuilt caps fit that just didn't.)
I had it. I had the dentist and the hygienist in there and I said "Look, I'm not happy right now because of something she said to my daughter and what I am hearing now. I have adopted my daughter. My daughter has been through a decade of child abuse and neglect. It is NOT her fault because her parents didn't do what they were supposed to and I'm tired of people like you making assumptions and saying things when you don't know."
I got an "Uh, ok." from the dentist. No apology to my daughter. Nothing. Then the dumb bitch had the audacity to ask me if I wanted to schedule her next appointment.
I said "No thank you." and we walked out. (yes, polite to the end, aren't you all proud. After all I am setting an example for my child.)
Seriously. I'm not on welfare but even if I was, how the hell are you going to treat the people that make you able to live your life, you know: buy food, clothes and shelter for yourself... how are you going to treat them like shit? I understand that there are some people who take advantage of the system (like the kid's egg donor) but then again that's why the kid's teeth are the way they are...because they DON'T take them to the dentist and don't use the insurance, they just collect the check. Duh.
In my mind, if you have a person in there with their kid, you are probably dealing with a person who is using the system the way it was intended to be used and with these economic times... it's probably not a rare thing. And most certainly in our state, where all kids are covered it shouldn't be rare.
Maybe I do have myself up on a pedestal and maybe I should be "grateful". But if we want to play a who's better than who by education and income/status... well... I think they'd be surprised. I don't want to play that game. All I am asking for is to be treated like a human being and the same for my kids. Common courtesy and respect. That's all I am asking.
Is it too much to ask for?
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I had a hard day...
Some days, I find it hard to believe this is my life. I guess it's not a bad life. I just hate that the kids donor (that's what I'm going to call that C U Next Tuesday from now on) has had so much control over my life. Even with her not physically here, she's ruined my life in terms of what I wanted out of my life. My wedding, My home, My car, My own bio kids. It builds up when I start to think of all my life I'm losing because she screwed up her life (queue tiny violins).
I know everybody works hard at life, but that's all I had done. Hubbins and I were barely starting to make a little savings and home for ourselves so we could do things when all this happened. I had been putting myself through school since I graduated HS and never took a break. We had both just graduated. I truly hadn't done anything with my life. I walked a straight line in accordance to the law of the land and God's laws. Life was just starting for us. It's so hard. Especially if you could understand the lengths I went to so that I wouldn't end up in the situation I am in. (Not the adopting part, but the million kids and financial issues, etc...) This was their family cycle, not mine.
It doesn't help when I get treated like I'm the piece of trash who made this mess. I've been trying to get a restraining order served in another state. I got a temporary one, but today I panicked when I found out AZ wants a $100 deposit and if it goes over they will bill me. I tried to get a waiver, because let's face it. This past couple of weeks my budget has been stretched and it will probably be tight next month do to the addition of two more people. I had to get my grandma setup here. That's not a complaint, it's just the way it is. I know with this restraining order, I only have so much time to get it delivered. It just so happens that it's also time to fill CDQs $200 prescription that her insurance won't cover and to get our registration on the car renewed, not to mention we got our home tax bill.
Az only serves restraining orders for those in a dating relationship for free. Everyone else must pay. They have a waiver for in state only. I called our clerk's office and the first time I got a really nice woman who was trying to understand why Arizona would do something like that. She thought it was odd. She suggested I call the local sheriff's office and see if it could be faxed and if not call back the clerk's office so that I could talk to someone regarding that in their department because like I said, she didn't think that seemed right.
So I called the sheriff's office and they couldn't help me. So I called back the county clerks office. I got someone else. I think I know who she is. I think she's the bitch that I had to deal with to file the thing to begin with. I call her a bitch because she was put out that she had to lift her ass from the seat and go ask a question, since I wasn't a battered woman case.
I told her I was speaking to someone else and she just left it in silence, so I started to tell her what I was trying to do, and that was simply to see if there was any kind of help available to me, should I not be able to either a) pay for the service or b) get it served on time. She cut me off and told me there was nothing they could do. When I told her the other woman said there was probably someone I could speak to about my unique situation, she told me it "wasn't their problem". I told her I was trying to protect my children from their abuser, I told her I had adopted 5 children and that kind of made it hard to do things sometimes. She told me that was my "personal problem". I hung up before I told her to go fuck herself and then I cried out of sheer hatred and anger. I know some people will think this is wrong but that bitch needs to be slapped around a couple of times. This is the job she chose, maybe she needs to understand some things and since it's obvious she's heartless with a huge and I mean HUGE stick up her ass, maybe she needs to feel what it's like.
I can't help but be pissed that I'd have to be screwing someone and get my ass beat to get my restraining order served for free. I mean really? I don't doubt that some people need help. But why do people who make bad choices get all the breaks? What about us, the ones who are trying to do the right thing? Why do we get screwed every time?
So, now, I will wait until my payday at the end of the week and hope that will be in time for whatever deadlines there are. I'm angry because this is for the safety of my children and it's like "oh, well. You shouldn't have adopted or got involved. We aren't."
Protect and serve my ass...
I know everybody works hard at life, but that's all I had done. Hubbins and I were barely starting to make a little savings and home for ourselves so we could do things when all this happened. I had been putting myself through school since I graduated HS and never took a break. We had both just graduated. I truly hadn't done anything with my life. I walked a straight line in accordance to the law of the land and God's laws. Life was just starting for us. It's so hard. Especially if you could understand the lengths I went to so that I wouldn't end up in the situation I am in. (Not the adopting part, but the million kids and financial issues, etc...) This was their family cycle, not mine.
It doesn't help when I get treated like I'm the piece of trash who made this mess. I've been trying to get a restraining order served in another state. I got a temporary one, but today I panicked when I found out AZ wants a $100 deposit and if it goes over they will bill me. I tried to get a waiver, because let's face it. This past couple of weeks my budget has been stretched and it will probably be tight next month do to the addition of two more people. I had to get my grandma setup here. That's not a complaint, it's just the way it is. I know with this restraining order, I only have so much time to get it delivered. It just so happens that it's also time to fill CDQs $200 prescription that her insurance won't cover and to get our registration on the car renewed, not to mention we got our home tax bill.
Az only serves restraining orders for those in a dating relationship for free. Everyone else must pay. They have a waiver for in state only. I called our clerk's office and the first time I got a really nice woman who was trying to understand why Arizona would do something like that. She thought it was odd. She suggested I call the local sheriff's office and see if it could be faxed and if not call back the clerk's office so that I could talk to someone regarding that in their department because like I said, she didn't think that seemed right.
So I called the sheriff's office and they couldn't help me. So I called back the county clerks office. I got someone else. I think I know who she is. I think she's the bitch that I had to deal with to file the thing to begin with. I call her a bitch because she was put out that she had to lift her ass from the seat and go ask a question, since I wasn't a battered woman case.
I told her I was speaking to someone else and she just left it in silence, so I started to tell her what I was trying to do, and that was simply to see if there was any kind of help available to me, should I not be able to either a) pay for the service or b) get it served on time. She cut me off and told me there was nothing they could do. When I told her the other woman said there was probably someone I could speak to about my unique situation, she told me it "wasn't their problem". I told her I was trying to protect my children from their abuser, I told her I had adopted 5 children and that kind of made it hard to do things sometimes. She told me that was my "personal problem". I hung up before I told her to go fuck herself and then I cried out of sheer hatred and anger. I know some people will think this is wrong but that bitch needs to be slapped around a couple of times. This is the job she chose, maybe she needs to understand some things and since it's obvious she's heartless with a huge and I mean HUGE stick up her ass, maybe she needs to feel what it's like.
I can't help but be pissed that I'd have to be screwing someone and get my ass beat to get my restraining order served for free. I mean really? I don't doubt that some people need help. But why do people who make bad choices get all the breaks? What about us, the ones who are trying to do the right thing? Why do we get screwed every time?
So, now, I will wait until my payday at the end of the week and hope that will be in time for whatever deadlines there are. I'm angry because this is for the safety of my children and it's like "oh, well. You shouldn't have adopted or got involved. We aren't."
Protect and serve my ass...
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Finally- Wound Vac Post!
First, I apologize for not doing this much sooner. I know I have quite a bit of traffic from people looking for info regarding tunneling pressure sores...so, without further ado:
Hubbins has had his sore for a year and a half. It was a very tiny sore that tunneled to about 5 cm, which made it not so tiny anymore. It started originally from an old pressure sore he had from decades ago. It reopened here after a new supervisor took it upon himself to try to save the state some money and changed his seating foam.
Anyhow, Hubbins is off the wound vac for now but it looks like he might have to have it put back on and I will tell you why, but first. Like I said, this wound has been on going with no movement after it reached 5 cm for about a year and a half. In about a month the wound vac had closed it to about .03 cm. He had the wound vac off for about a week before he tried to sit in his chair, there had been no change to the wound. But the day before yesterday he was up in his chair for about an hour for dinner. This started the sore again. As we know, once the skin is compromised, well it's never as strong and we still haven't found the source of pressure which is frustrating. I've irrigated and cleaned the sore and when the home health nurse comes out we will ask her if the vac should go on. This little machine is a miracle worker.
In the meantime, I was going to take pics and post it. But Hubbins sore is on his bottom. Then I remembered we had come across this video when we were doing research on the vac. This seemed to be the best to show what was what and yes the woman isn't wearing gloves but when you trust your nurse and there are protocols and handwashing, it's just easier to lay the drape and do the wound care that way because of the dressings, etc... Really, I am very conscientious about glove changes, especially when it's other people, etc... but the point is to see what the wound vac does and not judge the nurse who obviously did her job without complication for this boy.
There are many other videos and the wound vac doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes the skin is too delicate. I'm not getting paid by the wound vac place or anything for this. I just wanted to let people know that it is wonderful. We would have had the vac put on much sooner if his doctor at the time wasn't nervous about it because she didn't know about it. But she moved out of the state and his new doctor saw no problems with it. The wound measurement days were so exciting, especially at first because it moves so fast. Then there comes a point where it just stops and that's when you have to test out the waters to see if the skin is really ready.
There are actually plenty of videos on youtube for the wound vac. Some aren't so good, some are very graphic as pressure sores can be ugly. I love this little machine and I will update again on whether Hubs has to put the vac on again or not. If any one has any questions, feel free to comment and I will answer what I know. lol!
Thanks to the guy who did this video and shared with people, I hope you don't mind me passing it on. It's one of the best out there for demonstrating the wound vac that I have seen.
Hubbins has had his sore for a year and a half. It was a very tiny sore that tunneled to about 5 cm, which made it not so tiny anymore. It started originally from an old pressure sore he had from decades ago. It reopened here after a new supervisor took it upon himself to try to save the state some money and changed his seating foam.
Anyhow, Hubbins is off the wound vac for now but it looks like he might have to have it put back on and I will tell you why, but first. Like I said, this wound has been on going with no movement after it reached 5 cm for about a year and a half. In about a month the wound vac had closed it to about .03 cm. He had the wound vac off for about a week before he tried to sit in his chair, there had been no change to the wound. But the day before yesterday he was up in his chair for about an hour for dinner. This started the sore again. As we know, once the skin is compromised, well it's never as strong and we still haven't found the source of pressure which is frustrating. I've irrigated and cleaned the sore and when the home health nurse comes out we will ask her if the vac should go on. This little machine is a miracle worker.
In the meantime, I was going to take pics and post it. But Hubbins sore is on his bottom. Then I remembered we had come across this video when we were doing research on the vac. This seemed to be the best to show what was what and yes the woman isn't wearing gloves but when you trust your nurse and there are protocols and handwashing, it's just easier to lay the drape and do the wound care that way because of the dressings, etc... Really, I am very conscientious about glove changes, especially when it's other people, etc... but the point is to see what the wound vac does and not judge the nurse who obviously did her job without complication for this boy.
There are many other videos and the wound vac doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes the skin is too delicate. I'm not getting paid by the wound vac place or anything for this. I just wanted to let people know that it is wonderful. We would have had the vac put on much sooner if his doctor at the time wasn't nervous about it because she didn't know about it. But she moved out of the state and his new doctor saw no problems with it. The wound measurement days were so exciting, especially at first because it moves so fast. Then there comes a point where it just stops and that's when you have to test out the waters to see if the skin is really ready.
There are actually plenty of videos on youtube for the wound vac. Some aren't so good, some are very graphic as pressure sores can be ugly. I love this little machine and I will update again on whether Hubs has to put the vac on again or not. If any one has any questions, feel free to comment and I will answer what I know. lol!
Thanks to the guy who did this video and shared with people, I hope you don't mind me passing it on. It's one of the best out there for demonstrating the wound vac that I have seen.
one-three-one!!!
That was my grandma's blood sugar Saturday morning. Steadily going down. I had another post in the works but I guess I lost it even though I had saved it which is a little troubling to me. It's troubling because I was trying to document some of what has come to light.
So I'll try a quick recap, About a week ago today my grandmother ran out of her memory meds. We weren't able to refill being a Sunday. So she went the day without the pills and just the patch. Well, last Sunday night it hit the fan. It was like a fog was lifted for my grandma. She had lucidity and it was scary and exhilarating at the same time. Scary because I didn't know if the lack of pills was causing this or if it meant that the pills had been causing her haze.
What I can tell you now is that she's had about two fuzzy moments without the pills and both times she was pretty exhausted.
Anyhow, her moment of clarity came two days after my grandfather wiped her accounts out. Last Sunday night she was a-n-g-r-y. Like old days angry but amplified by the fact that she actually used the D-word (Divorce) which she's NEVER done and she spoke of my mom's bio dad who died when my mom was 3 or so. This was monumental. I mean she was talking about property that she owned and the atrocious things my current grandfather has done to her. She said when my grandfather takes her places and if people try to talk to her he tells them she doesn't know anything any more and she's lost her mind and not to talk to her. He threatened her that if she left to visit me, he was going to bring another woman into the house. I mean some really awful things.
I've known he is an a-hole for decades but I didn't know just how low he has sunk. My grandmother doesn't want to go back. She said he sold their house to the bank and if something happens to him, she has to pay $817 a month to live in that house. I mean so much was said. It was truly like a cloud lifted and she was herself again.
I'm trying to figure out a way to get her a better insurance plan out here because something is wrong. I'm not 100% positive but I think her daughter I wrote about in my backstabbers post may have been lying and had her diagnosed with Alzheimer's to keep her in check. I don't even know if that is possible, but my grandmother is doing so much better without those pills and the patches. Plus, it turns out that same daughter has been the only one taking her to this doctor and had the whole thing set up AND she claimed my grandmother had to be back for an appointment with him this past week but when my mom called to reschedule they said there was never any appointment for this past week or any future appointments. Go figure, huh? Shady bitch... when I get my grandma insurance here and if I find out she was doing shady things...she better watch out because I am soooo turning her in.
Apparently, my grandmother was allergic to the patches as well. They were leaving big red welts and peeling her skin around the edges. Part of an allergic reaction. It was more noticeable now that she is bathing regularly and was having the patch changed daily as it should have been.
I get so nervous. My grandmother has been known to sway. She gets scared and she backs down and changes her mind about things. I get nervous to put myself out there because I know there's that possibility that she'll throw me to the vultures again. This time is sort of different. She's used some very strong words that she's never said before. She was really unhappy and tired of the abuse. I don't blame her but I don't know what changed this time around. But then you know crying wolf and all that...
She worries about her youngest son who is in his 40s. In a way, I understand, but the relationship seems so twisted. The cord needs to be cut already and he needs to grow up.
Anyhow, Friday we took her out to the mall where she spent herself silly and bought things she didn't need. We went to Sephora and she had a blast, she bought some stuff from the Holy Land store. Then I took them out to Chinese for lunch and we shopped for new shoes. We stopped at Bath & Body Works and I bought us a couple of things. She was wiped out. As we were leaving she stopped at the jewelry counter and spent the last of the little money she had left on a jade elephant gold necklace for good luck.
My mom was hesitant for my grandma to spend all her money like that. But hell she only had under $250 left in her accounts and I asked my mom when she thought the last time my grandmother was able to frivolously spend like that? So she let it go.
I could tell my grandmother was happy to be using her own money. I wanted my mom to drop it. I have bought all the essentials she needs. Food, clothing, etc... so why not? Let her have fun. If any of them have a problem, they need to leave my mom and grandmother alone and see me. Because it's just redonkulous, it's her money dammit. She should be able to pamper herself. She earned it.
When we got home, I saw my grandma sitting in her recliner. She had pulled everything out. She touched the rosary bracelet she bought and turned it around her wrist as she held her arm in the air admiring it. Then she reached to her neck and clutched her elephant necklace. Smiling the whole time. She took out her lotions and make up and lined them up. It may sound silly but I wanted to cry. Those things clearly mean something to her. I don't want to talk like she's dying or anything but I'm glad she got to do that and I hope she gets to do it more often.
I guess I feel like I have limited time before they take her from me and kill her back home. Her kids keep pushing with what seems like no regard for her or her health or even her happiness. I figure eventually she will cave and leave. It makes me sad. But I will try to give her as much as I can while she is still here. I will try to make sure she has as much fun as possible and I will try to be sure she is happy.
It's all I can do. I wonder if this is how she felt before my mom took me back when I used to live with her.
PS. I know her hair looks like she put her finger in a socket. She's funny because she thinks she's fluffing it, but this is the way it turns out. My mom had done it for her before we left and it looked nothing like this. This is her with her new Sephora look, see how she's working it? LOL!
So I'll try a quick recap, About a week ago today my grandmother ran out of her memory meds. We weren't able to refill being a Sunday. So she went the day without the pills and just the patch. Well, last Sunday night it hit the fan. It was like a fog was lifted for my grandma. She had lucidity and it was scary and exhilarating at the same time. Scary because I didn't know if the lack of pills was causing this or if it meant that the pills had been causing her haze.
What I can tell you now is that she's had about two fuzzy moments without the pills and both times she was pretty exhausted.
Anyhow, her moment of clarity came two days after my grandfather wiped her accounts out. Last Sunday night she was a-n-g-r-y. Like old days angry but amplified by the fact that she actually used the D-word (Divorce) which she's NEVER done and she spoke of my mom's bio dad who died when my mom was 3 or so. This was monumental. I mean she was talking about property that she owned and the atrocious things my current grandfather has done to her. She said when my grandfather takes her places and if people try to talk to her he tells them she doesn't know anything any more and she's lost her mind and not to talk to her. He threatened her that if she left to visit me, he was going to bring another woman into the house. I mean some really awful things.
I've known he is an a-hole for decades but I didn't know just how low he has sunk. My grandmother doesn't want to go back. She said he sold their house to the bank and if something happens to him, she has to pay $817 a month to live in that house. I mean so much was said. It was truly like a cloud lifted and she was herself again.
I'm trying to figure out a way to get her a better insurance plan out here because something is wrong. I'm not 100% positive but I think her daughter I wrote about in my backstabbers post may have been lying and had her diagnosed with Alzheimer's to keep her in check. I don't even know if that is possible, but my grandmother is doing so much better without those pills and the patches. Plus, it turns out that same daughter has been the only one taking her to this doctor and had the whole thing set up AND she claimed my grandmother had to be back for an appointment with him this past week but when my mom called to reschedule they said there was never any appointment for this past week or any future appointments. Go figure, huh? Shady bitch... when I get my grandma insurance here and if I find out she was doing shady things...she better watch out because I am soooo turning her in.
Apparently, my grandmother was allergic to the patches as well. They were leaving big red welts and peeling her skin around the edges. Part of an allergic reaction. It was more noticeable now that she is bathing regularly and was having the patch changed daily as it should have been.
I get so nervous. My grandmother has been known to sway. She gets scared and she backs down and changes her mind about things. I get nervous to put myself out there because I know there's that possibility that she'll throw me to the vultures again. This time is sort of different. She's used some very strong words that she's never said before. She was really unhappy and tired of the abuse. I don't blame her but I don't know what changed this time around. But then you know crying wolf and all that...
She worries about her youngest son who is in his 40s. In a way, I understand, but the relationship seems so twisted. The cord needs to be cut already and he needs to grow up.
Anyhow, Friday we took her out to the mall where she spent herself silly and bought things she didn't need. We went to Sephora and she had a blast, she bought some stuff from the Holy Land store. Then I took them out to Chinese for lunch and we shopped for new shoes. We stopped at Bath & Body Works and I bought us a couple of things. She was wiped out. As we were leaving she stopped at the jewelry counter and spent the last of the little money she had left on a jade elephant gold necklace for good luck.
My mom was hesitant for my grandma to spend all her money like that. But hell she only had under $250 left in her accounts and I asked my mom when she thought the last time my grandmother was able to frivolously spend like that? So she let it go.
I could tell my grandmother was happy to be using her own money. I wanted my mom to drop it. I have bought all the essentials she needs. Food, clothing, etc... so why not? Let her have fun. If any of them have a problem, they need to leave my mom and grandmother alone and see me. Because it's just redonkulous, it's her money dammit. She should be able to pamper herself. She earned it.
When we got home, I saw my grandma sitting in her recliner. She had pulled everything out. She touched the rosary bracelet she bought and turned it around her wrist as she held her arm in the air admiring it. Then she reached to her neck and clutched her elephant necklace. Smiling the whole time. She took out her lotions and make up and lined them up. It may sound silly but I wanted to cry. Those things clearly mean something to her. I don't want to talk like she's dying or anything but I'm glad she got to do that and I hope she gets to do it more often.
I guess I feel like I have limited time before they take her from me and kill her back home. Her kids keep pushing with what seems like no regard for her or her health or even her happiness. I figure eventually she will cave and leave. It makes me sad. But I will try to give her as much as I can while she is still here. I will try to make sure she has as much fun as possible and I will try to be sure she is happy.
It's all I can do. I wonder if this is how she felt before my mom took me back when I used to live with her.
PS. I know her hair looks like she put her finger in a socket. She's funny because she thinks she's fluffing it, but this is the way it turns out. My mom had done it for her before we left and it looked nothing like this. This is her with her new Sephora look, see how she's working it? LOL!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Happy Father's Day
to the greatest father and husband in the world.
You have embraced my family like I could never imagine. Jumping through hoops to get the kids here and settled when all those bad things happened, even though it meant our money was spread thinner and our chance for biological children of our own ticks away year by year. You still say everything is going to be ok.
You've fallen into the Dad role beautifully, learning to speak incorrectly like the children (;-P) and sharing tales of when you were their age and the crazy things you did. I look forward to SS's annual "SUPER DAD" song and presentation today. You know....there's no "Super Mom" song...so you're special. LOL!
You are making such a huge impact in their lives and I don't think you even realize it.
You embraced my mom moving in and even call my Grandmother, Grandma. I loved you even more as you sat with my Grandmother talking about recipes and whatnot. You endured spanish television and even got into a novella or two yourself in the short time she has been here.
You help me to make sure they eat the right things so that they can get back on track and healthy again. You endure the things that they do because they are obviously comfortable in our home and you make them comfortable.
You make sure that I get something to eat or that I sleep and take care of myself. You sacrifice some things because I can't always do them for you and for the most part you understand or at least try to understand. You give me anything and everything I want just to make me happy. Sometimes you drive me up the wall but it's nothing I can't handle. I'm sure the feeling is mutual.
More recently, I realized the difference. I mean, I know there is a difference between our relationship and the cycles of my family. But having my mom and grandmother here reinforced in my mind the difference. You see when I lost the receipt for the shed and they would only give me a store credit, I called you and you told me it was ok and not a big deal even though I was way harder on myself for it. You see, at the moment it occurred to me if it had been my mom or my grandmother, they wouldn't have called their spouses at all because in their relationships the men have always yelled at them and called them stupid and worthless for anything they did wrong.
My mom heard you tell me "It's okay Sweetie." She told me I was very lucky.
You have been through so much. You endure so much pain day in and day out. You are stronger than you think you are. When I tell you I couldn't live the way you do, it's not an insult. It speaks to your strength because I am not as strong as you. I wish I could take away your pain. I wish I could make things easier for you the way you do for me.
You are the core of our family. I might do all the physical stuff, but you keep us together emotionally and mentally more than you realize.
Happy Father's Day Sweetie.
We Lub U!
You have embraced my family like I could never imagine. Jumping through hoops to get the kids here and settled when all those bad things happened, even though it meant our money was spread thinner and our chance for biological children of our own ticks away year by year. You still say everything is going to be ok.
You've fallen into the Dad role beautifully, learning to speak incorrectly like the children (;-P) and sharing tales of when you were their age and the crazy things you did. I look forward to SS's annual "SUPER DAD" song and presentation today. You know....there's no "Super Mom" song...so you're special. LOL!
You are making such a huge impact in their lives and I don't think you even realize it.
You embraced my mom moving in and even call my Grandmother, Grandma. I loved you even more as you sat with my Grandmother talking about recipes and whatnot. You endured spanish television and even got into a novella or two yourself in the short time she has been here.
You help me to make sure they eat the right things so that they can get back on track and healthy again. You endure the things that they do because they are obviously comfortable in our home and you make them comfortable.
You make sure that I get something to eat or that I sleep and take care of myself. You sacrifice some things because I can't always do them for you and for the most part you understand or at least try to understand. You give me anything and everything I want just to make me happy. Sometimes you drive me up the wall but it's nothing I can't handle. I'm sure the feeling is mutual.
More recently, I realized the difference. I mean, I know there is a difference between our relationship and the cycles of my family. But having my mom and grandmother here reinforced in my mind the difference. You see when I lost the receipt for the shed and they would only give me a store credit, I called you and you told me it was ok and not a big deal even though I was way harder on myself for it. You see, at the moment it occurred to me if it had been my mom or my grandmother, they wouldn't have called their spouses at all because in their relationships the men have always yelled at them and called them stupid and worthless for anything they did wrong.
My mom heard you tell me "It's okay Sweetie." She told me I was very lucky.
You have been through so much. You endure so much pain day in and day out. You are stronger than you think you are. When I tell you I couldn't live the way you do, it's not an insult. It speaks to your strength because I am not as strong as you. I wish I could take away your pain. I wish I could make things easier for you the way you do for me.
You are the core of our family. I might do all the physical stuff, but you keep us together emotionally and mentally more than you realize.
Happy Father's Day Sweetie.
The Great Gummy Bear Scuffle
So, both my mom and my grandmother's blood sugar has been dropping pretty rapidly, or at least it seems. They both seem to be craving sweets more too.
I thought it would be a good idea to take my grandmother to Sunflower Market so she could walk off her breakfast and do some shopping. I was already going there, so why not?
Holy moly people, I was speechless and I will tell you why. I was looking for sweets they could both have. My grandmother picked sugar free popsicles and my mom picked sugar free gummy bears. I told my grandmother she could have a popsicle in the car on the way home because it was also a hot day.
So my mom gets my grandmother her popsicle while I am loading the groceries and my grandmother's walker in the car. My mom also takes out her gummy bears (which I've found out are bad for them). I didn't realize my mom had given my grandmother her popsicle already until I went to shut her door. There was like a bite left. Grrreat!!!
Now imagine this if you will. My grandma finishes her popsicle at the same time my mom asks me to open her gummies. I open them for her and pass them up ( we went in my mom's car and they were in the front and I was in the back.) She takes two and my grandmother asks her for some. My mom tells her no because she just had her dessert. Meanwhile, we are still sitting in the parked car in the parking lot and I am putting on my seatbelt.
Next thing I know, my mom tells my grandmother she can't have anymore. Apparently, she held it out for her to take some and my grandma thought she was going to take the tub. So my mom starts to pull it away and my grandma grabs a fistful. My mom grabs the lid and tries to put it on while my grandmother yells at her she can have some if she wants and she will....
Um...WTF? This scuffle took like 30 seconds but it felt surreal.
I'm just sitting in the backseat speechless until I found my senses and told them to give me the frickin' gummy bears and neither one of them can have them. I get the container passed back to me and put the lid on.
My mom is grumbling that it's not fair because those were hers and my grandmother already had her dessert and my grandmother is munching on the gummies she took laughing.
Let's just say they didn't talk to each other the whole way home or for a couple of hours later.
Ahhhh, silence *chuckle*
I felt like telling them "I can't take you two anywhere!" or "If you two can't behave you can't go to the store anymore with me." or "See if I buy you guys anything ever again!" You know all those good parent sayings :-)
Spending this time with them has made me see just how much alike they are. I suspect that's why they have clashed so many times over the years.
Pure craziness, I'm not sure it's all diabetes related. lol!
I thought it would be a good idea to take my grandmother to Sunflower Market so she could walk off her breakfast and do some shopping. I was already going there, so why not?
Holy moly people, I was speechless and I will tell you why. I was looking for sweets they could both have. My grandmother picked sugar free popsicles and my mom picked sugar free gummy bears. I told my grandmother she could have a popsicle in the car on the way home because it was also a hot day.
So my mom gets my grandmother her popsicle while I am loading the groceries and my grandmother's walker in the car. My mom also takes out her gummy bears (which I've found out are bad for them). I didn't realize my mom had given my grandmother her popsicle already until I went to shut her door. There was like a bite left. Grrreat!!!
Now imagine this if you will. My grandma finishes her popsicle at the same time my mom asks me to open her gummies. I open them for her and pass them up ( we went in my mom's car and they were in the front and I was in the back.) She takes two and my grandmother asks her for some. My mom tells her no because she just had her dessert. Meanwhile, we are still sitting in the parked car in the parking lot and I am putting on my seatbelt.
Next thing I know, my mom tells my grandmother she can't have anymore. Apparently, she held it out for her to take some and my grandma thought she was going to take the tub. So my mom starts to pull it away and my grandma grabs a fistful. My mom grabs the lid and tries to put it on while my grandmother yells at her she can have some if she wants and she will....
Um...WTF? This scuffle took like 30 seconds but it felt surreal.
I'm just sitting in the backseat speechless until I found my senses and told them to give me the frickin' gummy bears and neither one of them can have them. I get the container passed back to me and put the lid on.
My mom is grumbling that it's not fair because those were hers and my grandmother already had her dessert and my grandmother is munching on the gummies she took laughing.
Let's just say they didn't talk to each other the whole way home or for a couple of hours later.
Ahhhh, silence *chuckle*
I felt like telling them "I can't take you two anywhere!" or "If you two can't behave you can't go to the store anymore with me." or "See if I buy you guys anything ever again!" You know all those good parent sayings :-)
Spending this time with them has made me see just how much alike they are. I suspect that's why they have clashed so many times over the years.
Pure craziness, I'm not sure it's all diabetes related. lol!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
The shed fiasco
Ok, so I knew my mom was moving here and I bought a shed. It looked really great at the store. But what I got home wasn't. I had the bottom and the sides all put together and was starting on the roof when I realized two parts were broken. I didn't want to take the whole dang thing apart. I called the company and inquired about new parts. They said those particular parts were back ordered and that they could send them to me when they received them from Israel. I asked how long that would take. They told me three weeks from when they received them. I told them it was unacceptable.
Meanwhile, the shed was still out there partly built. I had already had the kids tear apart and trash the boxes in an attempt to keep them from being blown all over my yard and on top of all that I couldn't locate the receipt. Good times right?
So I went to the store and spoke with them about the shed. The said they would give me the parts from the display, except when they started to take the display apart, it became too complicated without taking the whole thing apart.
So instead they took one from the floor and exchanged the parts I needed. I was so relieved. I had my parts and I was going to have the shed for my mom's stuff. BTW, this was the Wednesday before last Wednesday. When I got home, I discovered the shed had been blown over in a wind gust and there were now additional pieces broken. Like the stubborn person that I am, I tried to make it work and picked all the pieces up and put it back together. It was holding up nicely, I thought...considering.
So then I'm back at the part where I had discovered the two broken pieces and this time I take my brand new unbroken pieces and I go to snap it in place. I grasped it from it's sides to slide it in and I'll be damned if I didn't break the piece with my hand! At that point, I had it. I mean my hands are weak. They are getting stronger but when it comes to a pincher like grasp I don't have much strength so to break something like that...I just came to the conclusion it was a POS.
So my mom ends up getting here and I have no shed so I have to rent her one. Fast forward to yesterday when I was able to pack up the whole thing and take it back to the store. I, of course, no longer had the boxes so I had put all the pieces in the van. They are vinyl pieces. I was embarrassed to be taking the whole thing back like that but I'd had it.
They sent two guys out to help me. Now let me explain this about the shed. It was brown and tan. My van, it's slate (blue/grey) and black. There is a compartment in the back of my van that is built into the siding of the van. It houses the jack and other parts to change the tires. The compartment is covered by the same siding throughout the van. You un-velcro the siding and you lift it out and away from the van and it exposes the metal body of the van and the parts.
When the guys had unloaded the van, they asked me if they got all the parts out. I had taken parts from the middle/front of the van and propped them against the van. I looked in the back, saw that the piece was still on there (because I was worried believe it or not that they might somehow mix it up) and that the shed parts were all out. I told them they got everything and started to show them that I had some parts on the side. I thought the guy had simply shut the back doors for me.
But after I got to the next store and went to put the stuff in the back I saw it was missing. I was in a state of disbelief because I had specifically checked that. So I get on my cell and called them. I asked what time they were closing and realized I wasn't going to make it. I asked him what would happen if I couldn't pick it up before they closed. He said it would get shipped out and then there was chuckling. I said "are you serious?" Then he said he could pull it for me.
Phew! Crisis averted...
So I showed up today to pick up the piece and the girl said "Oh yeah, I pulled that piece out yesterday and put it aside. I'll have to go to the back and get it." I was about to tell her how happy I was because of my luck and all and decided against it. I figured I'd tell when she brought the piece back to me. lol!
So I see her walking back empty handed. Apparently, she pulled it out and set it aside but someone picked it up and put it back with the shed and shipped it out.
I just stared at her.
She kept apologizing. I told her I wanted to speak to a manager. So she got the manager and he approached me with the I'm sorry we shipped your car part out, it's unfortunate you bundled it with the shed. I'm sure my eyes bulged.
I quickly told him, um....IT WASN'T ME. I explained to him the obvious color differences between my car's interior and the shed I purchased from them. He was like "Really?" I think my eyes may have popped out that time.
So now in addition to having no shed, I now have to make a trip to the dealership to get the part replaced. At least they will reimburse me for it when I bring in the receipt showing I replaced it. I hope that I can get it replaced.
Meanwhile, the shed was still out there partly built. I had already had the kids tear apart and trash the boxes in an attempt to keep them from being blown all over my yard and on top of all that I couldn't locate the receipt. Good times right?
So I went to the store and spoke with them about the shed. The said they would give me the parts from the display, except when they started to take the display apart, it became too complicated without taking the whole thing apart.
So instead they took one from the floor and exchanged the parts I needed. I was so relieved. I had my parts and I was going to have the shed for my mom's stuff. BTW, this was the Wednesday before last Wednesday. When I got home, I discovered the shed had been blown over in a wind gust and there were now additional pieces broken. Like the stubborn person that I am, I tried to make it work and picked all the pieces up and put it back together. It was holding up nicely, I thought...considering.
So then I'm back at the part where I had discovered the two broken pieces and this time I take my brand new unbroken pieces and I go to snap it in place. I grasped it from it's sides to slide it in and I'll be damned if I didn't break the piece with my hand! At that point, I had it. I mean my hands are weak. They are getting stronger but when it comes to a pincher like grasp I don't have much strength so to break something like that...I just came to the conclusion it was a POS.
So my mom ends up getting here and I have no shed so I have to rent her one. Fast forward to yesterday when I was able to pack up the whole thing and take it back to the store. I, of course, no longer had the boxes so I had put all the pieces in the van. They are vinyl pieces. I was embarrassed to be taking the whole thing back like that but I'd had it.
They sent two guys out to help me. Now let me explain this about the shed. It was brown and tan. My van, it's slate (blue/grey) and black. There is a compartment in the back of my van that is built into the siding of the van. It houses the jack and other parts to change the tires. The compartment is covered by the same siding throughout the van. You un-velcro the siding and you lift it out and away from the van and it exposes the metal body of the van and the parts.
When the guys had unloaded the van, they asked me if they got all the parts out. I had taken parts from the middle/front of the van and propped them against the van. I looked in the back, saw that the piece was still on there (because I was worried believe it or not that they might somehow mix it up) and that the shed parts were all out. I told them they got everything and started to show them that I had some parts on the side. I thought the guy had simply shut the back doors for me.
But after I got to the next store and went to put the stuff in the back I saw it was missing. I was in a state of disbelief because I had specifically checked that. So I get on my cell and called them. I asked what time they were closing and realized I wasn't going to make it. I asked him what would happen if I couldn't pick it up before they closed. He said it would get shipped out and then there was chuckling. I said "are you serious?" Then he said he could pull it for me.
Phew! Crisis averted...
So I showed up today to pick up the piece and the girl said "Oh yeah, I pulled that piece out yesterday and put it aside. I'll have to go to the back and get it." I was about to tell her how happy I was because of my luck and all and decided against it. I figured I'd tell when she brought the piece back to me. lol!
So I see her walking back empty handed. Apparently, she pulled it out and set it aside but someone picked it up and put it back with the shed and shipped it out.
I just stared at her.
She kept apologizing. I told her I wanted to speak to a manager. So she got the manager and he approached me with the I'm sorry we shipped your car part out, it's unfortunate you bundled it with the shed. I'm sure my eyes bulged.
I quickly told him, um....IT WASN'T ME. I explained to him the obvious color differences between my car's interior and the shed I purchased from them. He was like "Really?" I think my eyes may have popped out that time.
So now in addition to having no shed, I now have to make a trip to the dealership to get the part replaced. At least they will reimburse me for it when I bring in the receipt showing I replaced it. I hope that I can get it replaced.
Friday, June 18, 2010
one-four-nine!!!
Remember her blood sugar from yesterday? This morning it's 149 BAYBEE!!!
Whoo HOO!
In the picture above she was in the middle of saying the number when my flash popped up and startled us both. LOL! In my excitement, I forgot to pop it up.
I think she (and everyone else around here) is getting a kick out of MY excitement. Last night she was trying to make a potholder on one of the kid's weaving looms from homeschool. It was cute and funny because she didn't realize she was supposed to weave it, so she was just chugging along very busy like layering them until the loom gave.
Right now, she is out getting her hair cut and permed. She's having a good time and she's getting better. Why can't they let her have a stress-free vacation? What is it that they have done that they are so afraid of her to be out of their grasp?
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Back to our regular programming...
This was written last night but posted tonight. This morning when we took my Grandmother's blood it was 178. The lowest it's been since she came for her visit! YES! Hoping it continues to go down.
Strangely enough, the stuff hit the fan about an hour and a half after I got a hit from Tucson...Hmmmm.... I wonder how they are going to explain the fact that since she's been gone (a week Friday) her bank account has dropped down to $136. There are no transactions from my state, ya know? The one she's actually been in the last week. I know this because she hasn't even taken her purse with her when she goes out. Everything she needs or wants is paid for.
She said she didn't want to go back, so I told her she could stay here as long as she wants and even live here if she wants to. Of course, she was mad....so I don't know whether to believe she truly wants to live here. I heard her tell the lady at the bank over the phone that she likes it here and that she's going places and is in no hurry to get back.
I'm worried for her.
========================================================================
Things here are going great!
My grandmother isn't nearly as bad off as everyone is saying. I think people need to stop talking around her and talk to her. I've held numerous conversations with her and she's held her own just fine. I don't think people ask her anything, I think they just tell her.
She made me tear up the first night because she said she had something to tell me. She told me she was glad she got a chance to see me again before she dies. I could tell it was important to her to tell me that. I told her she's no where near dying and that's when I realized people are treating her like she has one foot in the grave and that's just not the case.
I was so angry. She got here with clothes that had holes in them, the shirt she was wearing was a shirt that I happened to remember seeing on her when her and I visited California in the 80s when I was 9 or so, I used to have a picture somewhere. It was new then, but now it was at least 2 sizes too small and instead of buttons it was being held closed by safety pins. I should have taken a picture of it.
Instead, I went straight to the store and bought her some new shirts and shorts and undies, etc... I also bought her a new nightie. It makes me sad too because my grandmother has given up in that respect. She would have never gone out in public like that.
She seems happier now though. She's been working on jigsaw puzzles and she even sewed a felt heart and teddy bear by hand. She went shopping the day before last. She was ready to have her hair done but the lady I like wasn't in. She's supposed to get it done Friday and she's really excited.
Today I bought her a new recliner. There was an awesome Father's Day sale out here and I was able to get her this really cool recliner that has heat and massage. It even has a cooler for her drinks in the arm rest and a place for her to put all her magazines and tissue. I think the name of the recliner is "The Tailgater". It's the cutest thing. It came with one of those can snuggie thingies.
I have some concerns about her health. There are things that I think aren't right. I've discovered that she hasn't been taking her diabetes or alzheimer's medications regularly. Case in point, she has patches she's supposed to wear for memory. These appear to have been prescribed in April and there haven't been any refills since. She still had 15 patches left from that first box. When my mom and I gave her a shower I discovered she was wearing two patches. My mom doesn't know who put the patch on her lower back but she is only supposed to wear one at a time.
I spoke with Hubbins home health nurse about diabetes and she was really informative and helpful. We try to buy as much organic as we can, you know- veggies and fruit and now I'm buying with carbs and sugar counts in mind. My grandmother is eating healthy now, she hasn't had any Coke either. I've bought her flavored waters that have less than one gram of sugar, no calories and 4 carbs. We've cut back on the white stuff- bread, rice, etc... and we've increased her protein a little.
She does have some stiffness, but she appears to be getting stronger and more mobile. I worry that she might fall going to the bathroom but she's not limping so much. Instead of my mom and I holding her under each arm, I can now hold her hand and walk her to the bathroom. Hubbins has a potty chair that is helping her tremendously. It's kind of funny because she loves it. It's not so hard on her knees and she doesn't have to drop down because the seat is higher and wider like an actual chair. It has arm rests to help her get up and down too. I noticed she's not getting up as often to go to the bathroom. The first few nights we were up between 18-20 times. Last night she didn't get up to potty at all. Tonight has been moderate so far but she drank a ton because she was trying out the flavored waters.
My mom also bought her a shower chair. We haven't tried that yet. I had just put a folding chair in my shower but already she was liking that. She only has a tub at her house, but I have a walk in shower.
I had bought Hubbins a really nice wheelchair when we were first dating because I thought it would work as a shower/potty chair but because of his contractures it didn't work. I'm glad we didn't get rid of it. It works wonderfully for my grandmother. When her and my mother went shopping, we packed up the chair and they were out for hours. My mom pushed my grandmother in the chair and my grandmother pushed the shopping cart. lol! I didn't go with them, but I bet it was a sight.
Right now she has a cough that is worrying me. She has a lot of congestion. I don't know what is causing it. I thought it might be allergies at first but my mom said she's had the cough for years.
I've never seen pictures of my grandmother smiling and I've actually taken pictures of her here at my house smiling and laughing AND looking at the camera. That's big stuff right there. I will treasure this time and everything she has touched here. I'd like for her to stay here because I think it would be the best thing for her. But I know she has a life back in Arizona. I worry that if she were to go back she would deteriorate. I know it's a hard call for people and I know I have a lot on my plate (so it would seem) but she's no where near death's door and I think her best option would be to continue to thrive here. With all that I have written can you believe it's only been 4 days since she's came here.
Just knowing there is an additional adult in my home has decreased my stress levels tremendously. My grandmother's needs are simple and so easy compared to my RAD experiences that it doesn't even stress me out. My situation doesn't seem so heavy anymore. I don't have to worry that if something were to happen I wouldn't have anyone to take care of my kids or be at the hospital. My RA appears to be in remission. I have some soreness but my muscles are getting stronger and no inflammation.
Over the last two weeks I've installed two air conditioners: one was 48 lbs and the other was 118 lbs. I did well. I helped the movers with boxes and stuff over the weekend and I had some stiffness. Nothing major. Just today, I put together the recliner and pulled in and installed our replacement freezer and I'm still doing great. Don't mistake this for bragging, I'm just so surprised.
I'll have to tell you about the shed fiasco because I also tried to put a shed together last week. Because of that, I now have to make a trip to the dealership for my van. My luck!
But I'm sure this is already waaaay too long and I've probably bored everyone.
Hope everyone is well.
Strangely enough, the stuff hit the fan about an hour and a half after I got a hit from Tucson...Hmmmm.... I wonder how they are going to explain the fact that since she's been gone (a week Friday) her bank account has dropped down to $136. There are no transactions from my state, ya know? The one she's actually been in the last week. I know this because she hasn't even taken her purse with her when she goes out. Everything she needs or wants is paid for.
She said she didn't want to go back, so I told her she could stay here as long as she wants and even live here if she wants to. Of course, she was mad....so I don't know whether to believe she truly wants to live here. I heard her tell the lady at the bank over the phone that she likes it here and that she's going places and is in no hurry to get back.
I'm worried for her.
========================================================================
Things here are going great!
My grandmother isn't nearly as bad off as everyone is saying. I think people need to stop talking around her and talk to her. I've held numerous conversations with her and she's held her own just fine. I don't think people ask her anything, I think they just tell her.
She made me tear up the first night because she said she had something to tell me. She told me she was glad she got a chance to see me again before she dies. I could tell it was important to her to tell me that. I told her she's no where near dying and that's when I realized people are treating her like she has one foot in the grave and that's just not the case.
I was so angry. She got here with clothes that had holes in them, the shirt she was wearing was a shirt that I happened to remember seeing on her when her and I visited California in the 80s when I was 9 or so, I used to have a picture somewhere. It was new then, but now it was at least 2 sizes too small and instead of buttons it was being held closed by safety pins. I should have taken a picture of it.
Instead, I went straight to the store and bought her some new shirts and shorts and undies, etc... I also bought her a new nightie. It makes me sad too because my grandmother has given up in that respect. She would have never gone out in public like that.
She seems happier now though. She's been working on jigsaw puzzles and she even sewed a felt heart and teddy bear by hand. She went shopping the day before last. She was ready to have her hair done but the lady I like wasn't in. She's supposed to get it done Friday and she's really excited.
Today I bought her a new recliner. There was an awesome Father's Day sale out here and I was able to get her this really cool recliner that has heat and massage. It even has a cooler for her drinks in the arm rest and a place for her to put all her magazines and tissue. I think the name of the recliner is "The Tailgater". It's the cutest thing. It came with one of those can snuggie thingies.
I have some concerns about her health. There are things that I think aren't right. I've discovered that she hasn't been taking her diabetes or alzheimer's medications regularly. Case in point, she has patches she's supposed to wear for memory. These appear to have been prescribed in April and there haven't been any refills since. She still had 15 patches left from that first box. When my mom and I gave her a shower I discovered she was wearing two patches. My mom doesn't know who put the patch on her lower back but she is only supposed to wear one at a time.
I spoke with Hubbins home health nurse about diabetes and she was really informative and helpful. We try to buy as much organic as we can, you know- veggies and fruit and now I'm buying with carbs and sugar counts in mind. My grandmother is eating healthy now, she hasn't had any Coke either. I've bought her flavored waters that have less than one gram of sugar, no calories and 4 carbs. We've cut back on the white stuff- bread, rice, etc... and we've increased her protein a little.
She does have some stiffness, but she appears to be getting stronger and more mobile. I worry that she might fall going to the bathroom but she's not limping so much. Instead of my mom and I holding her under each arm, I can now hold her hand and walk her to the bathroom. Hubbins has a potty chair that is helping her tremendously. It's kind of funny because she loves it. It's not so hard on her knees and she doesn't have to drop down because the seat is higher and wider like an actual chair. It has arm rests to help her get up and down too. I noticed she's not getting up as often to go to the bathroom. The first few nights we were up between 18-20 times. Last night she didn't get up to potty at all. Tonight has been moderate so far but she drank a ton because she was trying out the flavored waters.
My mom also bought her a shower chair. We haven't tried that yet. I had just put a folding chair in my shower but already she was liking that. She only has a tub at her house, but I have a walk in shower.
I had bought Hubbins a really nice wheelchair when we were first dating because I thought it would work as a shower/potty chair but because of his contractures it didn't work. I'm glad we didn't get rid of it. It works wonderfully for my grandmother. When her and my mother went shopping, we packed up the chair and they were out for hours. My mom pushed my grandmother in the chair and my grandmother pushed the shopping cart. lol! I didn't go with them, but I bet it was a sight.
Right now she has a cough that is worrying me. She has a lot of congestion. I don't know what is causing it. I thought it might be allergies at first but my mom said she's had the cough for years.I've never seen pictures of my grandmother smiling and I've actually taken pictures of her here at my house smiling and laughing AND looking at the camera. That's big stuff right there. I will treasure this time and everything she has touched here. I'd like for her to stay here because I think it would be the best thing for her. But I know she has a life back in Arizona. I worry that if she were to go back she would deteriorate. I know it's a hard call for people and I know I have a lot on my plate (so it would seem) but she's no where near death's door and I think her best option would be to continue to thrive here. With all that I have written can you believe it's only been 4 days since she's came here.
Just knowing there is an additional adult in my home has decreased my stress levels tremendously. My grandmother's needs are simple and so easy compared to my RAD experiences that it doesn't even stress me out. My situation doesn't seem so heavy anymore. I don't have to worry that if something were to happen I wouldn't have anyone to take care of my kids or be at the hospital. My RA appears to be in remission. I have some soreness but my muscles are getting stronger and no inflammation.
Over the last two weeks I've installed two air conditioners: one was 48 lbs and the other was 118 lbs. I did well. I helped the movers with boxes and stuff over the weekend and I had some stiffness. Nothing major. Just today, I put together the recliner and pulled in and installed our replacement freezer and I'm still doing great. Don't mistake this for bragging, I'm just so surprised.
I'll have to tell you about the shed fiasco because I also tried to put a shed together last week. Because of that, I now have to make a trip to the dealership for my van. My luck!
But I'm sure this is already waaaay too long and I've probably bored everyone.
Hope everyone is well.
Backstabbers
So, I'm pretty sure I have a relative reading here. I hate to call someone out. But I do have a reader from Tucson, Arizona checking my blog nearly hourly. If you are a reader who isn't related to me, stop here because none of the rest of this isn't meant for you and I am sorry I keep mentioning this but it is a little strange for the hourly check ins and I hope you understand my concern for my family and don't take offense. IF you are a friend of my relatives, you have no business here either because chances are you are doing more harm then good because you have your head up your ass from listening to the wrong people.
If you are my sister, it's coming bitch....oh believe me the hurt is coming.
On the other hand if you are the backstabbing whore of a relative that I think you are. Why don't you finally do something worth while and back the fuck off. My business is none of yours. I know you get off on dragging people through the mud...but unfortunately you're going to be the only pig playing in that pen dear aunt. See I have lots of things you don't: a heart and I'm honest, plus I don't have a prison record just for starters.
You've abused me in ways that are unforgivable and now you think you are going to talk about MY kids. Fuck off bitch. Seriously. My kids have a reason for their disorders, they were abused and traumatized. What's your excuse you jealous whore? I suppose I should thank you though, because of your abuse I am able to understand and help my kids in ways that I couldn't have. This is helping them to get better in leaps and bounds. You see, I have a sister who is just like you. You know which one since you like to talk about shit you don't know.
I chuckled when I heard my grandfather sent me a food box. Unfortunately, he should have gave it to you. Since I hear you're the one who can't keep a job, a house or a car...hell....I hear you can't even keep people in your life like a man and your own kid. Not too shocking though. I prayed for your child the minute I heard you were pregnant. I have to admit, I was surprised you didn't murder this one...I prayed he would be spared from you and your evil heartless ways. I prayed he'd have a chance to become human and feel love.
You don't need to worry about my finances. Believe me, I've made more in my lifetime thus far then you have made in yours and I'm not even half your age. And guess what else, I didn't have to steal it from my job or my MOTHER.
You better think very carefully bitch, because all that time you were dragging me around and treating me like shit... well, I was under 8 years old, but as an adult...I remember the things you've done and said. You know.... your dirty little secrets. They actually have meaning to me now that I understand what you were saying.
I'm sure that man you have now would be interested in knowing your criminal activities. Both past and present. You might try to step all over my mom and my grandmother, but it won't happen with me. I learned well from you on how to be heartless and uncaring. I'll tell again, just like I did when I was a kid and guess what else? Yet, again there won't be a DAMN thing you can do about it. Back then I was scared of you, throwing me up on that bar, yelling and spitting in my face, smacking me...but now... I know you're just a worthless piece of shit and I know there is a special place in hell for you.
So keep fucking with me, my mother, my grandmother and my family and you'll be packing your bags for prison again....oops...did I say that?
You bet your ass I did!
If you are my sister, it's coming bitch....oh believe me the hurt is coming.
On the other hand if you are the backstabbing whore of a relative that I think you are. Why don't you finally do something worth while and back the fuck off. My business is none of yours. I know you get off on dragging people through the mud...but unfortunately you're going to be the only pig playing in that pen dear aunt. See I have lots of things you don't: a heart and I'm honest, plus I don't have a prison record just for starters.
You've abused me in ways that are unforgivable and now you think you are going to talk about MY kids. Fuck off bitch. Seriously. My kids have a reason for their disorders, they were abused and traumatized. What's your excuse you jealous whore? I suppose I should thank you though, because of your abuse I am able to understand and help my kids in ways that I couldn't have. This is helping them to get better in leaps and bounds. You see, I have a sister who is just like you. You know which one since you like to talk about shit you don't know.
I chuckled when I heard my grandfather sent me a food box. Unfortunately, he should have gave it to you. Since I hear you're the one who can't keep a job, a house or a car...hell....I hear you can't even keep people in your life like a man and your own kid. Not too shocking though. I prayed for your child the minute I heard you were pregnant. I have to admit, I was surprised you didn't murder this one...I prayed he would be spared from you and your evil heartless ways. I prayed he'd have a chance to become human and feel love.
You don't need to worry about my finances. Believe me, I've made more in my lifetime thus far then you have made in yours and I'm not even half your age. And guess what else, I didn't have to steal it from my job or my MOTHER.
You better think very carefully bitch, because all that time you were dragging me around and treating me like shit... well, I was under 8 years old, but as an adult...I remember the things you've done and said. You know.... your dirty little secrets. They actually have meaning to me now that I understand what you were saying.
I'm sure that man you have now would be interested in knowing your criminal activities. Both past and present. You might try to step all over my mom and my grandmother, but it won't happen with me. I learned well from you on how to be heartless and uncaring. I'll tell again, just like I did when I was a kid and guess what else? Yet, again there won't be a DAMN thing you can do about it. Back then I was scared of you, throwing me up on that bar, yelling and spitting in my face, smacking me...but now... I know you're just a worthless piece of shit and I know there is a special place in hell for you.
So keep fucking with me, my mother, my grandmother and my family and you'll be packing your bags for prison again....oops...did I say that?
You bet your ass I did!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
An update on the move
Thanks guys. I've been trying to keep my stress and fear in check.
My mom is actually bringing my grandmother in the moving truck as we speak.
My grandmother wants to visit me and every one is in an uproar. They think she's not going back. But um, Hello! she has all her doctors out there and she even has appointments at the end of the month that she needs to get to.
There have been threats to call the police, which pisses me off even more. My grandmother used to visit her daughter in California for a month at a time or longer. No one had problems with that, my grandmother didn't need permission. Why can't she visit me? Because I spoke my mind 7 years ago? Really? The police? *shaking head* My grandmother has not been declared incompetent by her doctor so wtf?
I'm worried and afraid for my grandmother. My mom says she can tell that my grandmother is worried because she gets quiet. Isn't that awful that she has to worry about all of them and what they are going to think instead of what she wants to do? She's never been to my state. When I talked to her she told me she wanted to see me and wanted to come to my state. She has dinner plans at Red Lobster with my mom and Hubbins (well as soon as he is able to get up, which looks like he will in a week or two). She wants to see my kids (this is where she is a little fuzzy, but it could be because no one ever told her I have my sister's kids). She asked me if they were well behaved and listened to me (all you RAD knowing people will get a good chuckle at that. I did.) I don't want my grandmother to feel how I am feeling right now.
I'm torn. I know it's the right thing, but I also know my grandmother has her strong and weak moments. Early yesterday when my mom picked me up she said my grandmother was worried. Last night when she called she told me my grandfather had called and my grandmother told her not to answer the phone twice and chuckled to herself. When I talked to them earlier today, they were on the road and had made a pit stop for a potty break. My grandmother had her trip snacks and rags (enquirer, star, woman's world, etc...) and she was smiling and ready to go. We had joked about them being Thelma and Louise with no suicide or Brad Pitt.
I'm closing for now. I just took my vitamins and supplements and I am feeling nauseous. Ugh. I do not want to throw up.
My mom is actually bringing my grandmother in the moving truck as we speak.
My grandmother wants to visit me and every one is in an uproar. They think she's not going back. But um, Hello! she has all her doctors out there and she even has appointments at the end of the month that she needs to get to.
There have been threats to call the police, which pisses me off even more. My grandmother used to visit her daughter in California for a month at a time or longer. No one had problems with that, my grandmother didn't need permission. Why can't she visit me? Because I spoke my mind 7 years ago? Really? The police? *shaking head* My grandmother has not been declared incompetent by her doctor so wtf?
I'm worried and afraid for my grandmother. My mom says she can tell that my grandmother is worried because she gets quiet. Isn't that awful that she has to worry about all of them and what they are going to think instead of what she wants to do? She's never been to my state. When I talked to her she told me she wanted to see me and wanted to come to my state. She has dinner plans at Red Lobster with my mom and Hubbins (well as soon as he is able to get up, which looks like he will in a week or two). She wants to see my kids (this is where she is a little fuzzy, but it could be because no one ever told her I have my sister's kids). She asked me if they were well behaved and listened to me (all you RAD knowing people will get a good chuckle at that. I did.) I don't want my grandmother to feel how I am feeling right now.
I'm torn. I know it's the right thing, but I also know my grandmother has her strong and weak moments. Early yesterday when my mom picked me up she said my grandmother was worried. Last night when she called she told me my grandfather had called and my grandmother told her not to answer the phone twice and chuckled to herself. When I talked to them earlier today, they were on the road and had made a pit stop for a potty break. My grandmother had her trip snacks and rags (enquirer, star, woman's world, etc...) and she was smiling and ready to go. We had joked about them being Thelma and Louise with no suicide or Brad Pitt.
I'm closing for now. I just took my vitamins and supplements and I am feeling nauseous. Ugh. I do not want to throw up.
It's 3 am...
and I am so stressed.
1.) I have a reader from Tucson, AZ and I don't want to scare anyone off but I'm hoping it's not relatives.
2.) I'm angry that I have to worry about relatives reading my blog. Well, not really relatives but the kids bio mom.
3.) Part of me doesn't want to care and the other part thinks I should move my blog...but then I think when will it ever end...
4.) I hate my so called family.
Do you guys have family that is just plain out trash? That's how I feel about my family. I'm going to lay out there what I know. My grandmother has alzheimers. Her husband and some of her kids have been ripping her off. Her other kids don't even care enough to take care of her.
My mom is doing all her daily care.
Case in point, My mom was at my grandma's house this past week helping her out around 2 pm. In the course of looking for a drinking glass she discovered that mice had been in my grandmother's cupboards and had eaten cornbread mix and whatnot. Then she gave my grandmother a shower (she is the only one who does this) and discovered that my grandmother has been throwing her underwear out and only has four pairs which were all dirty. To make a long story short, she calls me at 7:30 pm to discuss moving arrangements and I find out that she's just leaving my grandmother's house because she had to do the laundry and make sure she is fed.
I have an uncle who tries, but the rest... I don't know. One aunt is a recluse, the other is too busy with her life in California and the third aunt wants to puke at the thought of bathing my grandmother. Her other son seems to show up when it suits him. She had six children and this is what it has come to.
I'm pissed because here I am, yes, I am the caretaker for a million people (so it seems) but I work from home, my house is ADA, I actually have a manual wheelchair and a shower chair and a shower she can get into (her home has a bathtub/ shower setup only) and I don't need ANYBODY'S money. I'm hiring my mom to work for me as a nanny/housekeeper. Someone is here 24/7.
Everybody is soooo worried now. Only one aunt knows most of the situation here. I have an aunt and an uncle that know that Hubbins is a quadriplegic and none of them save the one aunt knows that I have adopted my half sisters kids. They only know that one of my nieces was killed.
I'm very concerned about my grandmother. I even said if she did not come with my mother, I was going to call the hotline for the disabled and the elderly. I can't understand these people. I really can't. Only my aunt who is a recluse has severe health issues. The rest are just worthless. I mean look at all I have already, it's nothing like them and they can't even take the time for her. It makes me so angry and hurt. My grandmother gave her entire life for them. She has and continues to put up with the abuse of my grandfather because she is one of those who is in it for life.
I hate that this has happened to her. I want to protect her from all the vultures. She hasn't been ruled incompetent but she doesn't have a durable power of attorney either. This would leave her at the mercy of her abusive husband who has a gambling problem should she be named incompetent. It's so scary.
I haven't been in the picture for the past 15 years or so because of her husband. I purged all toxic people out of my life then and he was one of them. She always chooses him because she doesn't believe she has another choice. This kills me. I want no connection with the majority of those people who are supposed to be my family, but I'm not denying anyone access to her if she were to come live here except for the aunt who abused me and even then it's not access to my grandmother, I just don't want to see her. You know?
I can't understand why this has to be like this. This is clearly the better place for her to be and they can keep on with their worthless lives without having to worry. Part of me thinks most of them are worried about her money and not her. I know my aunt who is sick is worried that I am taking on too much. I worry that myself. But you do what you gotta do. I need help and so does my grandmother and mother. I can't see why we can't all help each other out. Hubbins and I are in a position financially to take them in and still be able to live comfortably without any monetary contribution from either of them. They can use their money for what they need and not have to pay rent, food or utilities. We got all that. So what's the problem?
It's some of their (her other children) insecurities and their inability to support themselves which is at stake. They should be honest. I've never asked anyone for anything. Not a favor or a loan. I've always been able to support myself and have done so most of my life since I was a teen, even helping to support my mother and my sisters for a while by working 4 jobs while still putting myself through school.
As for me, no, I won't be able to purchase my grandmother a recliner or new clothes, but she has her own money for that and no I won't be able to pay my mom's bills but again she will have her own money for that... it's all just crazy to me.
My grandmother used to be a teacher's assistant for many years. I homeschool my kids, I can't think of a better way to help jog her mind by having her work with my kids if she feels up to it. She loved working with kids and all my kids are the right age range.
My grandmother loved to cook and she's always had a tiny kitchen and appliances that don't work. I have a large kitchen that my husband can do wheelies around in his motorized chair with room left over. My grandmother can't do stairs, we don't have any. We have ramps.
It makes no sense why they want to hand her a death sentence.
I don't even want to go into the way my own siblings have been treating my mother.
I am terrified. All I've ever wanted was a real family. I thought I was marrying into a pretty cool and close knit family and boy was that a slap in the face.
I am trying so hard to change this cycle and create the kind of family I always wanted for my children. I've discussed this with my mother. I know it's what she's always wanted for her children. We are both at a loss at how to make this happen. I'm the only one who seemed to get the message.
Sorry this is so long, I feel a little better putting it out there. It's now 4 am. I probably won't sleep a wink until I know they are both here safely.
1.) I have a reader from Tucson, AZ and I don't want to scare anyone off but I'm hoping it's not relatives.
2.) I'm angry that I have to worry about relatives reading my blog. Well, not really relatives but the kids bio mom.
3.) Part of me doesn't want to care and the other part thinks I should move my blog...but then I think when will it ever end...
4.) I hate my so called family.
Do you guys have family that is just plain out trash? That's how I feel about my family. I'm going to lay out there what I know. My grandmother has alzheimers. Her husband and some of her kids have been ripping her off. Her other kids don't even care enough to take care of her.
My mom is doing all her daily care.
Case in point, My mom was at my grandma's house this past week helping her out around 2 pm. In the course of looking for a drinking glass she discovered that mice had been in my grandmother's cupboards and had eaten cornbread mix and whatnot. Then she gave my grandmother a shower (she is the only one who does this) and discovered that my grandmother has been throwing her underwear out and only has four pairs which were all dirty. To make a long story short, she calls me at 7:30 pm to discuss moving arrangements and I find out that she's just leaving my grandmother's house because she had to do the laundry and make sure she is fed.
I have an uncle who tries, but the rest... I don't know. One aunt is a recluse, the other is too busy with her life in California and the third aunt wants to puke at the thought of bathing my grandmother. Her other son seems to show up when it suits him. She had six children and this is what it has come to.
I'm pissed because here I am, yes, I am the caretaker for a million people (so it seems) but I work from home, my house is ADA, I actually have a manual wheelchair and a shower chair and a shower she can get into (her home has a bathtub/ shower setup only) and I don't need ANYBODY'S money. I'm hiring my mom to work for me as a nanny/housekeeper. Someone is here 24/7.
Everybody is soooo worried now. Only one aunt knows most of the situation here. I have an aunt and an uncle that know that Hubbins is a quadriplegic and none of them save the one aunt knows that I have adopted my half sisters kids. They only know that one of my nieces was killed.
I'm very concerned about my grandmother. I even said if she did not come with my mother, I was going to call the hotline for the disabled and the elderly. I can't understand these people. I really can't. Only my aunt who is a recluse has severe health issues. The rest are just worthless. I mean look at all I have already, it's nothing like them and they can't even take the time for her. It makes me so angry and hurt. My grandmother gave her entire life for them. She has and continues to put up with the abuse of my grandfather because she is one of those who is in it for life.
I hate that this has happened to her. I want to protect her from all the vultures. She hasn't been ruled incompetent but she doesn't have a durable power of attorney either. This would leave her at the mercy of her abusive husband who has a gambling problem should she be named incompetent. It's so scary.
I haven't been in the picture for the past 15 years or so because of her husband. I purged all toxic people out of my life then and he was one of them. She always chooses him because she doesn't believe she has another choice. This kills me. I want no connection with the majority of those people who are supposed to be my family, but I'm not denying anyone access to her if she were to come live here except for the aunt who abused me and even then it's not access to my grandmother, I just don't want to see her. You know?
I can't understand why this has to be like this. This is clearly the better place for her to be and they can keep on with their worthless lives without having to worry. Part of me thinks most of them are worried about her money and not her. I know my aunt who is sick is worried that I am taking on too much. I worry that myself. But you do what you gotta do. I need help and so does my grandmother and mother. I can't see why we can't all help each other out. Hubbins and I are in a position financially to take them in and still be able to live comfortably without any monetary contribution from either of them. They can use their money for what they need and not have to pay rent, food or utilities. We got all that. So what's the problem?
It's some of their (her other children) insecurities and their inability to support themselves which is at stake. They should be honest. I've never asked anyone for anything. Not a favor or a loan. I've always been able to support myself and have done so most of my life since I was a teen, even helping to support my mother and my sisters for a while by working 4 jobs while still putting myself through school.
As for me, no, I won't be able to purchase my grandmother a recliner or new clothes, but she has her own money for that and no I won't be able to pay my mom's bills but again she will have her own money for that... it's all just crazy to me.
My grandmother used to be a teacher's assistant for many years. I homeschool my kids, I can't think of a better way to help jog her mind by having her work with my kids if she feels up to it. She loved working with kids and all my kids are the right age range.
My grandmother loved to cook and she's always had a tiny kitchen and appliances that don't work. I have a large kitchen that my husband can do wheelies around in his motorized chair with room left over. My grandmother can't do stairs, we don't have any. We have ramps.
It makes no sense why they want to hand her a death sentence.
I don't even want to go into the way my own siblings have been treating my mother.
I am terrified. All I've ever wanted was a real family. I thought I was marrying into a pretty cool and close knit family and boy was that a slap in the face.
I am trying so hard to change this cycle and create the kind of family I always wanted for my children. I've discussed this with my mother. I know it's what she's always wanted for her children. We are both at a loss at how to make this happen. I'm the only one who seemed to get the message.
Sorry this is so long, I feel a little better putting it out there. It's now 4 am. I probably won't sleep a wink until I know they are both here safely.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Shh...
I'm trying not to jinx myself but I think I found the problem with my computer.
Oh yeah, you all don't know that I was having a computer problem because the damn thing kept freezing up every stinkin time I typed or used the mouse. I was ready to stomp the thing when I finally came across the patch to fix it. So far so good, knock on wood.
It's two days until my mom and grandmother come. There has been plenty of drama in the mean time but my kids are kicking ass (again hoping not to jinx it).
Things are going well, Hubbins sore is so close to gone we can see the end of the tunnel, literally. His 5 cm and 4 cm tunneling pressure sores are now at .3 cm each. We can see the bottom of the sores coming up close to the top layer. I haven't forgotten the post on the wound vac. I need to upload pics now that my computer is working, but it's a little miracle worker that must be shared.
As for me, this post is coming to you pain free. I've had pain today, but I've had hardly any inflammation at all and my muscles are getting stronger. This will make more sense when I explain my research and the vitamins and supplements that I am taking that took away the inflammation. No inflammation reduces the pain by at least 90% AFTER my muscles started to repair themselves.
This might be TMI and it might even be premature but I am so elated I have to share.
You all know Aunt Flo, I'm sure. For me, the past 10 years or so I have had terrible knock down periods where I've found myself face to the cool floor hunched over. Let's just say once upon a time every blue moon I would have to take a children's chewable tylenol and I would be out in 10-15 minutes. Then it changed to Mi-dol, A-leve, to finally several Ibuprofen and nothing would help the pain. My periods would start and stop and then start up again (this actually will come into play when I post about my health later). Anyhoo, to make a short story long, my last cycle was a dream. I had one persistent cramp, no lags, and none of that other stuff (without getting too graphic, which I hope I haven't done so already).
Of course, I am sooooo suspicious that Flo may come later and this might be caused by stress (even though it was right on time for my cycle), because believe me I am so stressed out right now...if only you guys knew the stuff that was hitting the fan across state lines with family crap (I will tell later, after all the legal matters are settled). But I've been pretty faithful to taking better care of myself then I had been. So, who knows.
Anyhow, I might be gone again with all the moving stuff the next week or so but I'm looking forward to some time with my working computer and getting all the posts I've been wanting to write written.
Trying not to get my hopes up and to keep my excitement contained, but things are looking up around here even if my house is a disaster zone at the moment. I've had my inflammation controlled for about a month and a half now and I just seem to be getting stronger. Still have some days of deep fatigue and possibly depression from that...but good overall.
Hope all is well with you guys.
Oh yeah, you all don't know that I was having a computer problem because the damn thing kept freezing up every stinkin time I typed or used the mouse. I was ready to stomp the thing when I finally came across the patch to fix it. So far so good, knock on wood.
It's two days until my mom and grandmother come. There has been plenty of drama in the mean time but my kids are kicking ass (again hoping not to jinx it).
Things are going well, Hubbins sore is so close to gone we can see the end of the tunnel, literally. His 5 cm and 4 cm tunneling pressure sores are now at .3 cm each. We can see the bottom of the sores coming up close to the top layer. I haven't forgotten the post on the wound vac. I need to upload pics now that my computer is working, but it's a little miracle worker that must be shared.
As for me, this post is coming to you pain free. I've had pain today, but I've had hardly any inflammation at all and my muscles are getting stronger. This will make more sense when I explain my research and the vitamins and supplements that I am taking that took away the inflammation. No inflammation reduces the pain by at least 90% AFTER my muscles started to repair themselves.
This might be TMI and it might even be premature but I am so elated I have to share.
You all know Aunt Flo, I'm sure. For me, the past 10 years or so I have had terrible knock down periods where I've found myself face to the cool floor hunched over. Let's just say once upon a time every blue moon I would have to take a children's chewable tylenol and I would be out in 10-15 minutes. Then it changed to Mi-dol, A-leve, to finally several Ibuprofen and nothing would help the pain. My periods would start and stop and then start up again (this actually will come into play when I post about my health later). Anyhoo, to make a short story long, my last cycle was a dream. I had one persistent cramp, no lags, and none of that other stuff (without getting too graphic, which I hope I haven't done so already).
Of course, I am sooooo suspicious that Flo may come later and this might be caused by stress (even though it was right on time for my cycle), because believe me I am so stressed out right now...if only you guys knew the stuff that was hitting the fan across state lines with family crap (I will tell later, after all the legal matters are settled). But I've been pretty faithful to taking better care of myself then I had been. So, who knows.
Anyhow, I might be gone again with all the moving stuff the next week or so but I'm looking forward to some time with my working computer and getting all the posts I've been wanting to write written.
Trying not to get my hopes up and to keep my excitement contained, but things are looking up around here even if my house is a disaster zone at the moment. I've had my inflammation controlled for about a month and a half now and I just seem to be getting stronger. Still have some days of deep fatigue and possibly depression from that...but good overall.
Hope all is well with you guys.
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