Proud Mommy Moment #1

Today CDQ had a major meltdown. Kicking, screaming, throwing things, etc... She put on a good show.

She was holding up dinner. I told her she could stay in her room until she could control herself and come back to dinner. She wasn't having it, so I sent her to her room instead of letting it be a choice. She went off. I told her if she didn't stop she would just go straight to bed. She kept sassing me and I told her I wasn't going to take it, good night.

She continued and the other kids were waiting to say the prayer to eat.

I gave up, I decided to call her on it and do what the social worker had suggested months ago. I took her outside. I told her if she wanted to put on a show for everyone and to keep embarrassing her brother and sisters she could just go outside and show the neighborhood kids (who all happened to be outside in front of our house riding bikes.) I told everyone else to start dinner and I had to drag her out and she totally changed her tune outside but not in a good way. She started to scream "I'm hungry!' over and over again. Lovely.

Fortunately, the neighborhood didn't seem to even care. But to her little narcissist self the WHOLE WORLD was watching. She kept demanding things from me and at first I was feeding into it for about 5 rounds of "I want to eat.", "I want a kid who doesn't throw tantrums." and the "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't know why you are in trouble." She couldn't do it. I finally said I wasn't going to hear her anymore. I was done.

I told her to walk to the end of the property and walk back. She argued so I nudged her forward and she kept looking back. The first time she was still bawling, the second time there was scowling and the third time there was sniffing. I met her the third time and we walked together the fourth time. She was calm enough for me to talk to her and I told her that she looked more like my CDQ now.

I asked her again if she knew why she was in trouble. She said she did and told me why. I asked her where the CDQ was that kept all those feelings in check and she said she didn't know. I told her that I had tried to help her and she wouldn't hear me. The whole time I had my arm around her as I talked to her. I told her that she almost broke her glasses and her headband and I can't understand why since I know how much she loves that headband. She looked really sad and she said "I know."

When we stopped back at the front of the house. I gave her a hug and it was so sad because she started crying again but as I hugged her I could feel her sobs and they weren't anger, but just pure pain. I rubbed her hair and told her it was going to be ok. I told her we don't like to see her sad or hurt and that we love her but she has to start realizing that she's hurting people.

I just don't get this RAD. I know she's in pain but I can't help much because I don't know why and she doesn't really seem to know why either. It sucks.

Before we came in, I told her that she had to apologize to her Dad and her brother (who she scared with her fit) and to let her brother know that she did something wrong and that it's not ok to act like that ( because Lord knows I don't need him to pick that stuff up from her!)

I also told her that I wasn't going back on what I said about dinner because I gave her plenty of warnings and a chance to cool off. I told her that I will make sure she has a little extra for breakfast though.

She came in and did just that, she brushed her teeth and got her pj's on and she was back to the old happy and bossy CDQ.

*phew*

We made it, the right actions and choices were made. I was so nervous to take her outside. But she kept pushing until I had no choice. But it all worked out in the end.