After I posted my vacation post about going back to the therapist, I got a huge knot on the back of my neck.
It's been there ever since.
Well, actually, I realized it yesterday when I was happily minding my own business running errands and I noticed I had a voicemail on my cell. I checked it and it was the therapist and I felt sick to my stomach and not so happy anymore.
Should a therapist make you feel like crap and worthless because you're leaving her? My kids don't want to go. They only go for her snacks. What does she want me to do? She's off target and abrasive with them.
How do you deal with your kids therapists? Do you have to ask permission not to be there? Do they make you feel like you are inadequate?
Case in point, I know RAD kids need a lot of love, but do you have to always force your love on them? My kids come to me all the time for hugs and kisses and they have their moments where they don't want me to touch them, like seriously. I can respect that. But the therapist tells me that is when they need it the most. For me, being as detached as they are when it comes to affection type things and being abused, forcing yourself on me (hugs and kisses) is not going to make me feel safer and love you more.
As we were leaving one time, she asked the kids for hugs and they all stared at her awkwardly. They felt compelled to hug the woman because it was so awkward. I've been in situations and I can tell from their expressions. It's not because they are RAD kids, it's because she's weird. As a kid, I never thought to say no to those requests even when I didn't want to. It was like a personal slap in the face when she did that. I feel she keeps pounding into the kids that they aren't getting enough love and attention. There are five and they are at a deficit already, will they ever feel like they have enough? Probably not.
I can at least be proud of the fact that they told her they ARE getting enough attention and they DO feel loved. I just wish she would take their words at face value.
3 comments:
Our attachment therapist helps me to feel empowered not weakr or deficient. He gave me techniques and the words to use. He did not want the kids to hug him. He wanted them to hug me.
We have a play therapist because there are no attachment therapists in my state.
At first, I thought we had finally found a winner. But it looks like we ended up in something worse than we had before.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I need that because I don't know if it's just me being sensitive or if there truly is something not quite right.
I would like it far more if your therapist helped you feel empowered. I feel like all she does is tear you down.
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