Can I Still Call Myself A Blogger???

Really???



I know I still have a menu to plan. I have like 4 tackles that I've done and never posted yet. Tips...I've 4 of those too.



First it started without being able to use my right arm. I couldn't lift it or move it much cause I sort of wanted to die when I did. Finally that went away and Hubs bought me this wonderful gift I *still* haven't told you about and yet...still am using right now.



Then I was hooked on two different games that kept me going because I'm obsessive and HAD to finish them in one sitting.



Then my left arm wouldn't work. Same deal as the right but now on the left.



Which brings me to the big blow up of 2007...



Picture this...



Yesterday morning, we seem to be moving along fine. I send the kids out to the van so I can take them to school. I lock up, so I'm the last one leaving.



I go out to the van...silence. Kids sitting in a row facing the front with smirks.



W.T.F !?!



You might be saying "What's wrong with that?"



Not these kids. Spawn of the Devil Herself. They have been awful, terrible, the worst.



I ask what is going on.



The worst of the bunch of the girls pipes up "Nothing, we just changed seats."



The oldest was not in the van, she was opening the gates for me (oh, yeah...did I mention I have gates now? ARGH...so much unshared!)



That child...if she is awake she is lying.



I looked at the oldest of those who were in the car and she pointed to the one that just told me nothing. I asked what she had done. She said that the Evil One had found presents in the back and showed them...



SHIP!!!*



I had bought a ton of stocking stuffers and totally forgot to bring them in the house, some gifts, etc...



This little witch searched the van when she got in and then went through the stuff and made sure she showed them all.



I.HIT.THE.ROOF.



I can't believe I had forgotten those things because I was soooooo excited about being done and the things I had found. I got about $300 worth of stuff at the Dollar store for 7 kids for only $98.



Disney Princesses, Spiderman, Winnie the Pooh. We are talking good stuff.



It was the last straw. It was so bad I told them it was all going back and I almost even told them there was no Santa!


I can't even begin to describe what they have been putting us through this past month and the boy. I'm not sure what they are going to do with him because I no longer want to adopt him. Even Hubs is at the point where he's saying the boy has to go too if he doesn't change.



He needs help...they aren't getting it for him and my hands are tied. I don't know what to do. Bt the final straw is him carving into his dresser and then attempting to stab two of his sisters with his toothbrush. I can't have a kid like that, he kill us all in our sleep.



Instead, I finally told them I've had enough. I've always told them if they didn't want to be with me then they needed to tell their social worker and I'd have no problem with them going because I wasn't going to try to live with kids who didn't want to be here.



But what do I do when they are hating us for everything their mother and father did to them?



I just leveled with them and told them the truth.



I know what it's like for people to lie to you and tell you bad things about your parents. I was told my mom didn't love me and that she is a snake. To an extent they are both true. But when they were said to me at the age of 5-8 they were said out of hate for my mother.



I told the kids that their mother signed them to me. She signed the paper to send them all to me and that I had agreed that I would help her until she finished her classes and got them back, but she didn't finish her classes. As soon as they came to me she quit. We are stuck with each other whether we like it or not. Whatever problems they have with her are with her and that hubs and I were just trying to help. We didn't take them from anyone. We never planned to have them forever. So, if someone said I took them or "stole" them from their mom it is a lie.



I'll probably get in trouble for telling them that. But did I tell them their mom took her new bf to Disneyland after she had her rights terminated? no. Did I tell them that she's shacking up with any guy who will screw her trying to have replacement kids? no.



I explained to them that I am all they have. I am the only responsible person in their whole entire family who they will give them to. I even explained how I am not entirely related to them either. That's why I am the only one who can keep them.



It was just an awful morning, my arm still wasn't working. I don't know what to do with the stuff now since surely "Santa" can't bring the same stuff that was in the van. Right?



I'm just heartbroken, worn down and tired. All those people who said they didn't want me to wear myself out have disappeared. For the first time in my life I have been asking for help and there is none to be found. Figures.



Today my arm works. I have to make five dentist appointments, five doctors appointments. Hubs just got his flu and pneumonia shots yesterday. But we think he has a UTI so I have to run that down to the lab.



Halloween stuff is put away and Thanksgiving stuff is up. I'm starting to freak out about Christmas.



Some day soon, I hope to share with you my new Bettas. The cool gifts Hubby has given me and just stuff in general. But for now... I will post when I can what I can. (Usually when I write a post like this,I suddenly have time to post.lol)



How are you all doing?

*Have you seen the new carmax commercial?

"Are you shipping me?"

My new way of trying to cut back on my cussing.