Happy Father's Day

to the greatest father and husband in the world.

You have embraced my family like I could never imagine. Jumping through hoops to get the kids here and settled when all those bad things happened, even though it meant our money was spread thinner and our chance for biological children of our own ticks away year by year. You still say everything is going to be ok.

You've fallen into the Dad role beautifully, learning to speak incorrectly like the children (;-P) and sharing tales of when you were their age and the crazy things you did. I look forward to SS's annual "SUPER DAD" song and presentation today.  You know....there's no "Super Mom" song...so you're special. LOL!

You are making such a huge impact in their lives and I don't think you even realize it.

You embraced my mom moving in and even call my Grandmother, Grandma. I loved you even more as you sat with my Grandmother talking about recipes and whatnot.  You endured spanish television and even got into a novella or two yourself in the short time she has been here.

You help me to make sure they eat the right things so that they can get back on track and healthy again. You endure the things that they do because they are obviously comfortable in our home and you make them comfortable.

You make sure that I get something to eat or that I sleep and take care of myself. You sacrifice some things because I can't always do them for you and for the most part you understand or at least try to understand.  You give me anything and everything I want just to make me happy. Sometimes you drive me up the wall but it's nothing I can't handle. I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

More recently, I realized the difference. I mean, I know there is a difference between our relationship and the cycles of my family. But having my mom and grandmother here reinforced in my mind the difference. You see when I lost the receipt for the shed and they would only give me a store credit, I called you and you told me it was ok and not a big deal even though I was way harder on myself for it. You see, at the moment it occurred to me if it had been my mom or my grandmother, they wouldn't have called their spouses at all because in their relationships the men have always yelled at them and called them stupid and worthless for anything they did wrong.

My mom heard you tell me "It's okay Sweetie."  She told me I was very lucky.

You have been through so much. You endure so much pain day in and day out. You are stronger than you think you are. When I tell you I couldn't live the way you do, it's not an insult. It speaks to your strength because I am not as strong as you.  I wish I could take away your pain. I wish I could make things easier for you the way you do for me.

You are the core of our family. I might do all the physical stuff, but you keep us together emotionally and mentally more than you realize.

Happy Father's Day Sweetie.

We Lub U!

Of urologists, insurance and BS

I mentioned that I needed to tell the story about how Hubbins came to be in the condition that he was in to end up in ICU.

For almost a month, I had been trying to get Hubbins help through his shitty insurance. You see, Hubbins has a pre-existing condition. So insurance companies won't cover him, therefore he gets state insurance. The state insurance was doing ok, until they got this brilliant idea to screw everyone over and move them to two new-to-our state insurance plans. No test drive, just 1-2-3 SWITCH!

So it was a scramble to try and pick the lesser of two evils. Apparently, we picked the wrong one. See Hubbins current urologist, he's been treating Hubbins without seeing him. We had already gone to his primary, we had already done bladder and prostate ultrasounds. They came back normal. We were at the point where the primary said it was out of her scope and we had to see the urologist. So, I called up the urologist and tried to explain the problem to the heartless bitch nurse on the phone.

Let's just say she didn't even know what quadriplegia meant. The urologist ended up throwing antibiotics at Hubbins and we scheduled an appointment for 3 weeks later. These antibiotics killed the good bacteria that was trying to kill off the yeast in his bladder and that's how we were able to see that he physically had a yeast infection. However, that also caused the yeast to be stronger and multiply faster.

Don't think I sat around waiting. I called all 13 urologists in the book that were supposedly covered by his insurance. Not one but the one he was already seeing was covered by his insurance. Every single one I called told me that they no longer accept his insurance.

When I called his worker at the insurance company, before I could get to him, I dealt with 3 different people who tried to give me the same 13 numbers. I explained to each of them how those doctors weren't accepting their insurance. Finally, I was passed through to the case worker who did the same thing. I was made to call like a dumbass these doctors again and speak to their billing department who confirmed what I had already been told. No go.

So that meant that the insurance company had to make an individual contract with a urologist. That meant getting a referral from the primary and that meant waiting for the insurance company to deny or approve it.

We got the approval after he was in ICU already.

Did you know that if a person is on state insurance, that person or someone else can't pay cash for the "insured" person to see a doctor? It's against the law for the doctor to accept money from a state insured person. I guess it's just so much better that the person die while the state gets their shit together, no?

Oh and even with the approval, the urologist is not accepting that insurance. Apparently, this insurance doesn't pay their bills. Lovely, eh?

ICU Trip Number 2, Part 2

We walked quickly through the halls to the OR. The people kept apologizing for the wait. I filled them in on what I could remember. At the previous hospital, I was in the room with the man who put the PICC line in and he told me step by step what he was doing and why. It was a weird experience and at the time I couldn't understand why he wanted me to stay.

They asked me to wait outside and the big heavy doors slammed in front of me and then there was just silence. I felt so much shame for my stupidity and selfishness. I prayed some more and then I heard the words the man told me about Hubbins previous PICC line. He said he was using an artery that most people don't use because it has a 90 degree angle. He said in Hubbins case, his artery was excellent for the PICC because unlike other people's his blood flow was strong and in the right direction. I sat there kicking myself for not remembering to tell them.

Shortly after, a lady came out and told me they were having some trouble and that's why it was taking so long. I relayed what the other guy had told me about Hubbins artery and she said she would go in and tell them. About 8 minutes later, I heard whoots and yells of "YES!" and "It's IN!". Then the same girl came out, told me it was in and disappeared down the hall, she came back with an x-ray machine and through the doors she went. Shortly after that they opened the doors and told me I could go in and be with Hubbins while they waited for the x-ray. The x-ray came back perfect and off we went again.

We went back to the ER where they drew blood and got IV fluids going in him. We were there for another hour or so when they moved him to a room in ICU. When they admit Hubbins, I have to leave the room and wait in the waiting area. When they came and got me they told me Hubbins had a seizure. He had never had seizures before. He was trying to talk to me and his speech was slow and slurred and he couldn't stay awake. They told me this was normal after a seizure. The doctor asked me some questions. He thought maybe the lack of baclofen had caused the seizure since it's known to do that if you just stop cold turkey. He hadn't had any since early morning and the other hospital had cut his dosage in half.

For the most part Hubbins was stabilized now and it was his sleep apnea that was worrying the nurses. He stops breathing and takes a long time to start again. Sometimes, the lack of his snoring wakes me up and I have to yell at him to breathe. The level of care at this hospital was so different. They had quickly put Hubbins on a med regime and allowed for breakthrough pain meds to be administered.

I can't believe I am forgetting something so major. In the ER before he was admitted, the doctor came in and sat down and talked with me for half an hour, in the ER! He asked so many questions, I was surprised I had the answers. He was so thorough about Hubbins history, I was impressed. It was with that information, he created a treatment plan for Hubbins.

Anyhow, this stay at ICU was so much smoother and Hubbins was moved down to Intermediate Care after two days without incident. They didn't give him any meds like ativan to put him out. He spent most of the time lucid and watching the Food Network. His only problems was bloating and gas pain. Oh, and that atrocious bed. I don't know how those beds are supposed to be helpful.

I sat on his air bed at the other hospital and I jumped up quickly because I felt like that bed had violated my bottom!

He had minor spasms which caused his blood pressure to fluctuate but nothing major. After, I believe, three days in intermediate care, they discharged him and we've been home since.

I kept calling home to check on everyone and CDQ was better by the second day Hubbins was in the hospital. Although, things weren't to go as smoothly, considering the following:

1.) The day before we came home, the propane had run out. We were going to order more that first Monday but Hubbins got sick the weekend before.

2.) I was still on pins and needles up until Friday because my Mom was going to lose her job if she didn't get back to work by Wednesday. Her job allows ten occurrences before they fire people and they would not excuse her for this medical emergency. Hubbins was discharged so late on Tuesday night that we missed all flights going out and I had to send her on a plane Wednesday morning. She didn't arrive in Az until after 10 am and she went to work in the same clothes she came here in by 11 am, straight from the airport. Thankfully, she didn't get fired. They wrote her up and if she has one more occurrence she will be let go. I gave her a little money that I had because I know she won't be getting paid for the time she was here and she's having hard times already. I feel so bad. I know it wasn't nearly enough.

(I'm leaving a reminder for myself here to post about my Mom and this whole experience from that perspective. )

3.) Thursday night, I found myself plunging away at the kids toilet. Something was going on, suddenly, I realized how bad septic tanks are when stuff was coming into my tubs and showers. EWWW.

4.) Friday- I had to call a plumber to snake the line and pump the septic. Apparently, it was a toilet paper free for all while we were gone and that's what clogged the kid's toilet, which then backed up the entire house. The septic was an ordeal because we had no idea where it was at. By chance, I happened to mention to the guy that there was this weird piece of wood that has been sticking out of the ground since we moved here. Turns out, it was a marker for the septic. At $45 an hour to dig, plus $80 if they needed to use some mouse contraption doohickey, I was definitely relieved he found it in less than 15 minutes and cut us a break.

I can feel the knot forming in my neck from typing about all this. I am still waiting for the calm after the storm. Hubbins is still having some spasms and dysreflexia. He stayed in bed today. I'm hoping he'll stay in bed tomorrow and try to rest.

I hadn't bought a tree or finished decorating before all this happened so I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to catch up. But one thing is for sure, ever since the last trip to ICU years ago, I've been living with PTSD and hypervigilance. I've been so worried about going back that I haven't been living. I no longer feel that anymore. We've gone back twice and both times were different. Hubbins seems more like himself these days then he has in a long time. That final hour in the ER, when I thought we would break... Hubbins told me he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't hold on anymore, the pain was too much. I stood up and I told him that if he had to go, I would understand and it was ok. It broke my heart to pieces but I couldn't stand to see him suffer anymore. I told him, I didn't want him to go, but I would understand and I leaned down and hugged him and that is when the doors flew open...

ICU Trip Number 2, Part 1

The next morning, I was getting things ready to take Hubbins a bath when he started complaining about his blood pressure. My mom had gone to the drugstore to get his prescriptions and I was trying to figure out what was wrong.

Basically, his blood pressure bottomed out and we couldn't get a reading. The numbers just kept falling on the blood pressure machine. Nothing I did would cause spasms to get his blood pressure back up. I called his wound care nurse and she asked me a bunch of questions. Hubbins was sweaty and cold by then and she advised me to get him to the hospital ASAP.

I called my mom to tell her to come home quick. She told me the insurance was questioning the prescription for a phosphate replenisher type drink. We have yet to find out what happened with that, but thank God, Hubbins doesn't need it.

I called an ambulance for Hubbins and I had asked the wound care nurse which hospital she thought he should go to. I requested he be taken there.

Now, here's where I need to back up a little. When I got home that night, CDQ was in bad shape. She had been throwing up the night before and had a fever. I took her temp and it was 101.1. She complained of pain on her lower left side and her tongue was white. I realized quickly she was dehydrated and constipated so it was milk of magnesia and pedialyte for her.

Next, one of my bettas died and another had popeye and cloudy eye. Luckily, I had the meds for that and quickly dosed him. As of this minute, he needs a water change but his sickness is almost gone.

Thirdly, I had thought that Lil Miss Purries had gone feral on me again for leaving her. The last time Hubbins was in ICU, we had no one and I wouldn't leave his side. Poor Purrs was only with us for a week when that happened and when we finally came home, she had gone feral on me.

I tried to pick her up and comfort her but she was screaming at me and swatting me with her paws. When she put her teeth gently on my hand I lost it. I put her down and I went to my bathroom and cried. Something told me to go back and check her. Her nose was dry, her ears were warm and her gums were white and not the healthy pink they usually are. Quickly, I realized she was sick too.

My mom had gone out that night and did a run for the milk of magnesia, Pedialyte and dinner for us adults. When she got home, I carried Purrs to her and told her that Purrs was sick. At that exact moment, something shot out of Purrs backside. It smelled awful and I thought she had gone potty. Unfortunately for my Mom, it shot on to her bare leg.

Turns out Lil Purrs had an abscess on her hind hip and it popped at that moment. I had to get diluted betadine, neosporin, q-tips and saline. I wrapped her tightly propped her and proceeded to empty her abscess, irrigate it with saline, and then clean it with betadine and applied neosporin. She was not happy to say the least. But the most insulting thing is probably the cone thing I made for her head out of a manila file folder to keep her from licking it. She's doing better now but still has the cone on.

All that took place the night before Hubbins went back to ICU. The next day after the ambulance left, I realized Purrs had a second abscess under the first and had to drain and dress it before I left to be with Hubbins.

When I got to the hospital, something was going on with Hubbins. They had an ultrasound machine on him looking for a good vein. They had used all his veins the previous week and they had removed the PICC line they put in at the other hospital. Because Hubbins was dehydrated and his blood pressure was low, his veins were constricted and they could not draw any blood. They couldn't even get a central line in him.

The doctor actually walked out saying she didn't know what to do for him. His nurse was pissed. I asked what was going on and it turned out Hubbins was on a list for a PICC line. He was number 8 on the list and they were all emergencies.

I told Hubbins nurse that I knew he probably couldn't tell me anything but I asked him if this was his family member what would he do? Would he transfer him to another hospital where he could get the PICC in faster. He explained to me that there was only one hospital left, and that they had just had a guy who went there with a bad headache, waited for 12 hours in the ER and was given an anti nausea medication and sent home. He came to this hospital the next morning and they found out he had bleeding on the brain. We had already had a bad experience with that hospital and vowed never to go there again before he had told me this story anyway.

He told me that in the condition that Hubbins was in, he should not be transported anywhere. He said he is frustrated as well and felt like his hands were tied. He said the decision to take out the PICC line at the other hospital was a bad one and he promised me that as soon as Hubbins got the PICC line in things would go quickly.

Three hours....three hours of hearing Hubbins beg not to die. Three hours of pain because they wouldn't give him anything, no pain meds, no spasm meds because they didn't know his situation. Three hours of up and down blood pressure. I started praying for Hubbins. I was having my tantrum with God but I really needed help. If he ever heard me, I prayed for him to help Hubbins, to give the pain to me. I would take it without complaint.

I stood there next to his bed praying with my arms around his head trying to comfort him, my mind racing and sometimes the words escaping me and having to start the prayer over. There was so much clarity while I prayed. So much of the little shit I had fought so hard over and got so angry with God over. The people that I let sway me at the catholic school and the knights of columbus. I prayed the Hail Mary and the Our Father over and over again and I spoke to God like I used to before I got so jaded.

There were times when Hubbins was lucid enough to say Amen. But he mainly begged God not to let him die. I was scared for him too. But something huge had happened the night before. After everything had died down, I had went into our room where I found Hubbins in tears. He said Squishy (Bela, our niece who was murdered by her father) had come in the room and she had her arms outstretched to give him a hug but he told her he couldn't. He was crying because he was worried he had hurt her or that she wouldn't understand. He was crying that it was so unfair that she had to be gone. I told him she would understand, when my friend Karlton died, I had a dream that we were sitting on a bench outside where we used to work and we were talking and laughing just like old times but then it hit me, he was dead. I just couldn't do it because the reality hurt so bad I woke up. I felt so bad for doing that and no matter how hard I tried I could never dream like that again. So real and lifelike.

I told him, she was just coming by to give him a hug and tell him everything was going to be ok because he was there for her and comforted her when she was 2 weeks old and was in such bad shape. I told him that was probably the first time she felt unconditional love and he gave that to her. That second stay in ICU, I kept that in my heart and mind constantly. It's not the first time Hubbins has seen dead people. His Grandmother sent him back to me years ago when we first moved here and he ended up in the ICU.

I kept telling him he wasn't going to die and he was going to be ok. Just when I thought we would break, the doors slid open and they whisked him out the door and off we went to get the PICC line in....

ICU trip number 1

Sorry if I don't remember dates, everything has been such a blur the past two weeks.

I believe it was three Saturdays ago, I ended up taking Hubbins in to the ER. I had to call an ambulance for him and I had to fly my mom in to take care of the kids.

Hubbins is taking vicodin for pain and baclofen to relax his muscles because of his spasms. Because of the yeast infection he had for so long (I don't know if I told that story but making a note to myself because it definitely needs to be told) he was having terrible spasms for weeks on end that would not let up for hours. We are talking leg, bladder and stomach spasms that were wretching him from his bed from like midnight to 6am at times. This caused him to take more of the above drugs to try and lessen the pain and spasms, which in turn ended up causing a bowel obstruction which unfortunately wasn't detected because of the diflucan he was taking for the yeast infection. Not to get too graphic but somehow he became constipated while having diarrhea and they ended up having to insert an NG tube in the ER to remove the obstruction.

From there everything is kinda blurry. First, he had colitis, then c-diff, then sepsis. At one point they thought he was having a heart attack.

In a previous post, I had suspected he was in respiratory depression and I was correct. They had overdosed him on Morphine and vicodin. Then they gave him something called norcam or norcan (sp?) to reverse it. But in doing so, they reversed all the narcotics and sent him in to vicodin withdrawals. He was sweaty and hallucinating, he was screaming nonsense, he thought he was going to die.

I asked a nurse about it and he told me "not to baby him". He said he was sick and he felt lousy and what was happening was normal. During this time Hubbins was also being given zosyn

(sp?) and flagyl for the c-diff bacteria he supposedly had. Every time they gave him those antibiotics Hubbins would go into fits and tell them he didn't want it and that there was something wrong. He was ignored, he was told that he had to have it because the doctor said, he was told his symptoms were not any that these drugs would cause and none of the nurses ever told the doctor.

I can't remember which day it was but the doctor had come in and told me things were good with Hubbins and they were going to move him down. But the next thing I know, they had an EKG hooked up to him and no one was saying anything to me. I asked the lady doing the EKG what was going on and she showed me the printout with a bunch of wavy lines and something that started with an M and tachy something on it. I had no idea. This is when they suspected a heart attack. They drew blood for cardiac enzymes and it all came back normal. They had also drawn blood to check his blood gases or something like that and it showed that his levels of potassium where so low it was coming across as a heart attack.

Hubbins did not have a heart attack. Neither did he have c-diff AND it turned out he was very allergic to the antibiotics they had now been giving him for 5 DAYS.

One nurse listened to me. I had noted all his symptoms and complaints, I had noted times when things would start and what had changed or had been given to him. This nurse called in the caseworker for the hospital and he in turn called in the doctor and the night shift supervisor for the nurses. I let loose. I told everything, details, down to who stood where and what they said.

Nurses were going to be in trouble because not one had reported what Hubbin's and I had been telling them to about the antibiotics. The doctor ordered the antibiotics to be discontinued on the spot.

Then miracles of miracles. The very next morning, Hubbins just had low phosphate and he was going to be discharged and all was good according to them. Hubbins and I were skeptical but we wondered if he wouldn't be better off at home anyway considering what they had done to him the past 5 days.

Hubbins was discharged and high as a kite on ativan. He slept through the night in his bed but the next morning the nightmare was to begin all over again.

PS. I know I am forgetting things and I will try to add them as I remember.

Quick Update...

Hubbins is in ICU, he has been here since Saturday. Things were looking good but now I think they are giving him too much meds and I have to wait until shift change or the doc comes in because the nurse he has now is nice enough, but I don't think he's listening to what Hubbins is saying and at this very moment he is watching tv. Argh!

I've been googling and it seems Hubbins may be going into respiratory depression because of the dizziness and the feelings of not being able to breath the meds are causing. He's on morphine, hydrocodone, baclofen and oxybutynin. All those drugs cause dizziness and possible shortness of breath especially in the elderly or debilitated.

We've had excellent concerned nurses so far, but this one... I hope the hours fly by for the doc to come in. She's wonderful too and I know if she knew about this she would change her orders. I wish I knew more about our rights.

Today is also Bela's birthday. She would have been 4 years old. I'm going to get off the computer (thank goodness for our netbook and courtesy wifi from the hospital) since Hubbins has calmed and seems to be sleeping some. I'm trying to get rest when he is. This is all just so stressful.

Dumb and Dumber

So weeks ago, I purchased this kick ass stove. Actually, come to think of it, it could have been a month by now. 

Hubbins had narrowed it down to two that would do the trick for us. Glass top, double oven convection, pizza setting, programmable...the works! We mulled over it and I picked the opposite of the one he wanted (of course) but the clincher! Mine went on sale!  Well, then we had to get it.  It was a sign you know? Plus I had gone the extra mile and went to the website and checked out all the features and watched the demos. After I sent that info to Hubbins, well he was lusting for it too! 

They were actually able to deliver it that very weekend I bought it and they called us and let us know that we were the first for delivery which was perfect because I had a cookie booth that afternoon. 

I have to admit, I was suspicious. I mean usually we have to wait at least two weeks for an appliance delivery and we are NEVER the first for delivery. 

So they actually came when they said they were...well truthfully they were 15 minutes early.  (I know! Never happens!) They went to set it up and promptly informed me that I didn't have a plug for it. Well you see, the other is propane and I hate it. I wanted electric this time.

Hubbins asked me if there was a plug back there before we bought it and yes, there are two plugs actually. But neither one is right.  Turns out we have to get one of those big hunkin' plugs ( why, yes that's the technical name for them) installed and our box doohickey (yes, another technical name)could be full. WONDERFUL! 

The delivery people said they could take it back but I said no! Just leave it in the box and I pushed the box from the living room to a corner in the kitchen and it has sat there for weeks. Every week Hubbins is supposed to call THE GUY to get an estimate and schedule it but he doesn't do it. 

Today, I had it. 

Cell ringing: 

Me: "Hello!"

Hubbins: "Do you want me to call the guy about the stove?"

M: "Um, yes. Please."

H: "Ok, I'll do that right now."

M: "GOOD!"

Later, me calling Hubbins: 

H:"Hello?"

M:" It's me!, Did you get ahold of THE GUY?" (because I was all expecting a date set and every thing, silly me!)

H: "uhhhhhhhh...no."

M: "What do you mean no? He wasn't there?"

H: *silence*

M: "You didn't call him did you? Why did you call me and tell me you were going to call him and then didn't do it?"

H: *silence*

M: "Maybe you think the box is all pretty and like seeing it in that corner but I don't. That's the most expensive ********** box I've ever bought!"

H: "Ok, ok... I call him right now."

click. 

Seriously, he plays games on the computer all day, ALL DAY! Even emails the programmers to tell them he's found a bug in their games. *rolling eyes* 

It's been a month easily that I've told him over and over at the beginning of the week. Call THE GUY set it up for Friday, etc.... MEN! 

UPDATED: THE GUY is coming tomorrow! WHOO HOO! Hopefully we will be able to set up the work ASAP!

I knew it was bound to happen

Not in the self-fulfilling prophecy way but in the things are just too good to be true right now way.

I was so afraid of posting my last post.   Things were going well.  Things were going so well... the kids are still doing great. It's Hubbins who is not. I get so mad and frustrated. 

Yesterday, I was out and about trying to get an oil change done on the van and trying to figure out what to get CDQ for her b-day last minute. When I got home, Hubbins and the kids had made lasagna, salad and fresh homemade french bread. As soon as they opened the door I could smell the yumminess. It was so cool. 

I was worried about the lasagna because Hubbins has been having some difficulties eating stuff like that. He gets acid and gas buildup that causes bad spasms and vomiting. But he had taken pepcid AC and bean-o to make sure that he could enjoy dinner.  But I guess that wasn't meant to be. 

He got sick a couple of hours later. His stomach became distended (to the point that his belly button was almost non-existent) from gas and he felt nauseous from the acid reflux.  We did a bowel program on him last night around midnight hoping that would alleviate it.  It worked for a little while. 

This morning he woke up (funny because we didn't get to try and sleep until just before 7 and we had to get up at 8) with a slight sour stomach but it was getting better.  That is until he drank some gatorade to make sure he stayed hydrated. Then came the stomach distention and acid reflux. 

It just sucks! All because of lasagna. I'm so mad and worried and angry. It's not fair. I know I sound like a whiny brat but it's just not fair and is so wrong! I'm stressing here because we are going to try to run another bowel program to make sure he doesn't get impacted or isn't impacted even though I don't even know how that would be possible but we have to be sure.  I'm exhausted and scared and I don't know whether to tell myself I am making a big thing out of nothing or to continue to be out of my mind. We had our first cookie booth today and it's all just overwhelming. I hate this. 

I also hate that, in addition to regular stress for these type of occurrences, I have to stress out about something happening to him and having to face his family. I wish that his family were a support for us but I guess Hubbins knows his family best and has his reasons for what he does and I kinda understand from some of the things that he has shared with me. But it's all so much for one person.  All we are trying to do is live life and help others. I am so proud of my girl scouts and I am going to miss them so much. But that's for another post. 

I guess he needs his gallbladder out, although when they ran x-rays they didn't see anything that showed he had a problem.

  

I also guess for now, I will just put on my mask of strength and crack jokes to try and make him smile because he is in pain. Please send good thoughts that this will pass (is that inappropriate? or the fact that I am pointing it out inappropriate? lol *rolling eyes*) and Hubbins will be back to good health tomorrow with the knowledge that he will never eat lasagna again. Amen.