Some days, I find it hard to believe this is my life. I guess it's not a bad life. I just hate that the kids donor (that's what I'm going to call that C U Next Tuesday from now on) has had so much control over my life. Even with her not physically here, she's ruined my life in terms of what I wanted out of my life. My wedding, My home, My car, My own bio kids. It builds up when I start to think of all my life I'm losing because she screwed up her life (queue tiny violins).
I know everybody works hard at life, but that's all I had done. Hubbins and I were barely starting to make a little savings and home for ourselves so we could do things when all this happened. I had been putting myself through school since I graduated HS and never took a break. We had both just graduated. I truly hadn't done anything with my life. I walked a straight line in accordance to the law of the land and God's laws. Life was just starting for us. It's so hard. Especially if you could understand the lengths I went to so that I wouldn't end up in the situation I am in. (Not the adopting part, but the million kids and financial issues, etc...) This was their family cycle, not mine.
It doesn't help when I get treated like I'm the piece of trash who made this mess. I've been trying to get a restraining order served in another state. I got a temporary one, but today I panicked when I found out AZ wants a $100 deposit and if it goes over they will bill me. I tried to get a waiver, because let's face it. This past couple of weeks my budget has been stretched and it will probably be tight next month do to the addition of two more people. I had to get my grandma setup here. That's not a complaint, it's just the way it is. I know with this restraining order, I only have so much time to get it delivered. It just so happens that it's also time to fill CDQs $200 prescription that her insurance won't cover and to get our registration on the car renewed, not to mention we got our home tax bill.
Az only serves restraining orders for those in a dating relationship for free. Everyone else must pay. They have a waiver for in state only. I called our clerk's office and the first time I got a really nice woman who was trying to understand why Arizona would do something like that. She thought it was odd. She suggested I call the local sheriff's office and see if it could be faxed and if not call back the clerk's office so that I could talk to someone regarding that in their department because like I said, she didn't think that seemed right.
So I called the sheriff's office and they couldn't help me. So I called back the county clerks office. I got someone else. I think I know who she is. I think she's the bitch that I had to deal with to file the thing to begin with. I call her a bitch because she was put out that she had to lift her ass from the seat and go ask a question, since I wasn't a battered woman case.
I told her I was speaking to someone else and she just left it in silence, so I started to tell her what I was trying to do, and that was simply to see if there was any kind of help available to me, should I not be able to either a) pay for the service or b) get it served on time. She cut me off and told me there was nothing they could do. When I told her the other woman said there was probably someone I could speak to about my unique situation, she told me it "wasn't their problem". I told her I was trying to protect my children from their abuser, I told her I had adopted 5 children and that kind of made it hard to do things sometimes. She told me that was my "personal problem". I hung up before I told her to go fuck herself and then I cried out of sheer hatred and anger. I know some people will think this is wrong but that bitch needs to be slapped around a couple of times. This is the job she chose, maybe she needs to understand some things and since it's obvious she's heartless with a huge and I mean HUGE stick up her ass, maybe she needs to feel what it's like.
I can't help but be pissed that I'd have to be screwing someone and get my ass beat to get my restraining order served for free. I mean really? I don't doubt that some people need help. But why do people who make bad choices get all the breaks? What about us, the ones who are trying to do the right thing? Why do we get screwed every time?
So, now, I will wait until my payday at the end of the week and hope that will be in time for whatever deadlines there are. I'm angry because this is for the safety of my children and it's like "oh, well. You shouldn't have adopted or got involved. We aren't."
Protect and serve my ass...
2 comments:
I almost feel bad suggesting this, since there's a good chance it'll be another dead end, but here it goes: Some states have a crime victim's fund that goes towards paying for stuff like therapy and services for victims of crime. If you've done anything with the DA or any crime victim folks near you, maybe you could go back to them and ask for help.
Another thing to keep in mind: Your kids are domestic violence victims. There was both physical and sexual assault, if I remember correctly. It's true that the funding requirements of some agencies limit them to only serving victims of dating violence, but they aren't all so limited. If you get asked again, maybe it would help to just use the DV line and then offer details only when they ask. Who knows? It might work...
Hi r. ,
We have done stuff with the DA but in another state (Ca). So that kind of puts us out for our own state even though our state has picked up the slack in other ways.
As far as the DV stuff, that's what the first lady I talked to at the clerks office was talking about. She thought the kids should get help in AZ under that law. She said it didn't seem right for it to just be for dating. I believe that's why she wanted me to talk to someone in their office.
Thanks for the suggestions.
~Sasha
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