So I'll try a quick recap, About a week ago today my grandmother ran out of her memory meds. We weren't able to refill being a Sunday. So she went the day without the pills and just the patch. Well, last Sunday night it hit the fan. It was like a fog was lifted for my grandma. She had lucidity and it was scary and exhilarating at the same time. Scary because I didn't know if the lack of pills was causing this or if it meant that the pills had been causing her haze.
What I can tell you now is that she's had about two fuzzy moments without the pills and both times she was pretty exhausted.
Anyhow, her moment of clarity came two days after my grandfather wiped her accounts out. Last Sunday night she was a-n-g-r-y. Like old days angry but amplified by the fact that she actually used the D-word (Divorce) which she's NEVER done and she spoke of my mom's bio dad who died when my mom was 3 or so. This was monumental. I mean she was talking about property that she owned and the atrocious things my current grandfather has done to her. She said when my grandfather takes her places and if people try to talk to her he tells them she doesn't know anything any more and she's lost her mind and not to talk to her. He threatened her that if she left to visit me, he was going to bring another woman into the house. I mean some really awful things.
I've known he is an a-hole for decades but I didn't know just how low he has sunk. My grandmother doesn't want to go back. She said he sold their house to the bank and if something happens to him, she has to pay $817 a month to live in that house. I mean so much was said. It was truly like a cloud lifted and she was herself again.
I'm trying to figure out a way to get her a better insurance plan out here because something is wrong. I'm not 100% positive but I think her daughter I wrote about in my backstabbers post may have been lying and had her diagnosed with Alzheimer's to keep her in check. I don't even know if that is possible, but my grandmother is doing so much better without those pills and the patches. Plus, it turns out that same daughter has been the only one taking her to this doctor and had the whole thing set up AND she claimed my grandmother had to be back for an appointment with him this past week but when my mom called to reschedule they said there was never any appointment for this past week or any future appointments. Go figure, huh? Shady bitch... when I get my grandma insurance here and if I find out she was doing shady things...she better watch out because I am soooo turning her in.
Apparently, my grandmother was allergic to the patches as well. They were leaving big red welts and peeling her skin around the edges. Part of an allergic reaction. It was more noticeable now that she is bathing regularly and was having the patch changed daily as it should have been.
I get so nervous. My grandmother has been known to sway. She gets scared and she backs down and changes her mind about things. I get nervous to put myself out there because I know there's that possibility that she'll throw me to the vultures again. This time is sort of different. She's used some very strong words that she's never said before. She was really unhappy and tired of the abuse. I don't blame her but I don't know what changed this time around. But then you know crying wolf and all that...
She worries about her youngest son who is in his 40s. In a way, I understand, but the relationship seems so twisted. The cord needs to be cut already and he needs to grow up.
Anyhow, Friday we took her out to the mall where she spent herself silly and bought things she didn't need. We went to Sephora and she had a blast, she bought some stuff from the Holy Land store. Then I took them out to Chinese for lunch and we shopped for new shoes. We stopped at Bath & Body Works and I bought us a couple of things. She was wiped out. As we were leaving she stopped at the jewelry counter and spent the last of the little money she had left on a jade elephant gold necklace for good luck.
My mom was hesitant for my grandma to spend all her money like that. But hell she only had under $250 left in her accounts and I asked my mom when she thought the last time my grandmother was able to frivolously spend like that? So she let it go.
I could tell my grandmother was happy to be using her own money. I wanted my mom to drop it. I have bought all the essentials she needs. Food, clothing, etc... so why not? Let her have fun. If any of them have a problem, they need to leave my mom and grandmother alone and see me. Because it's just redonkulous, it's her money dammit. She should be able to pamper herself. She earned it.
When we got home, I saw my grandma sitting in her recliner. She had pulled everything out. She touched the rosary bracelet she bought and turned it around her wrist as she held her arm in the air admiring it. Then she reached to her neck and clutched her elephant necklace. Smiling the whole time. She took out her lotions and make up and lined them up. It may sound silly but I wanted to cry. Those things clearly mean something to her. I don't want to talk like she's dying or anything but I'm glad she got to do that and I hope she gets to do it more often.
I guess I feel like I have limited time before they take her from me and kill her back home. Her kids keep pushing with what seems like no regard for her or her health or even her happiness. I figure eventually she will cave and leave. It makes me sad. But I will try to give her as much as I can while she is still here. I will try to make sure she has as much fun as possible and I will try to be sure she is happy.
It's all I can do. I wonder if this is how she felt before my mom took me back when I used to live with her.
PS. I know her hair looks like she put her finger in a socket. She's funny because she thinks she's fluffing it, but this is the way it turns out. My mom had done it for her before we left and it looked nothing like this. This is her with her new Sephora look, see how she's working it? LOL!
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