She acts like she's 16.
Things were really weird. I called to talk to her teacher and they told me that they thought she was on a field trip. WTF?
I never signed a permission slip. She's forged my name before.
I know she has the hots for a boy who doesn't care about her...at all.
I think to myself...WWHMD...What would her mother do??
Her mom was/still is the biggest whore on the block. My mom picked her up from many a cul-de-sac, yanking her off some boy here and there long before she finally got pregnant for the first time at 15.
I had to drop off some doctors excuses for the kids who had recently been to the dentist. I decided to wait and see if my hunch of WWHMD would come to pass.
As my other kids came out, I casually asked the kids, as if I knew something, which bus does B ride?
Quickly they spit out the number. Another kid even told me the story of how she couldn't find her sister so she looked there and there she was.
Sure as my name is Sasha. I saw this child making a fool of herself. Only her. I waited and watched a little more to make sure, it was almost like seeing her mother making a fool out of herself when she was younger.
There was another girl with her, D. I know this girl and I know her parents are far more stricter than me. If they knew my kid's background they would forbid her to speak with my kid. She was looking flustered and there was my kid convincing her to go back. Finally, she gave in and went and that's when I went.
It happened so fast she didn't even know what hit her. I grabbed her arm like a toddler and led her from the area as I asked if that was where she was supposed to be. Of course, she tried to give me excuses. But I led her with the four other kids in tow.
Other than not having my permission to be there. The school does not allow children who aren't riding the buses to be out there.
If looks could kill, I would be dead.
I used to pull her mother out of places she wasn't supposed to be. I was responsible for this girl because I was the oldest and she made my life hell until I gave up and left it for my mom and her dad to figure out. I gave up and she got pregnant.
If I keep this one. I'm not giving up. I will be the biggest bitch she will ever cross. It just makes me sad and angry.
Sad that I have to be this type of Aunt and angry that I am being cheated of "normal" children and a family of my own.
Today, I went back and forth and back and forth and my heart felt heavy because when I thought of packing up all the kids stuff and sending them away, I felt physically better.
As I continued with that thought and how I would take back our rooms and have so much more space and then maybe one of those rooms would be a nursery I just felt like such a weight had been lifted and I felt relieved.
All I want is normal. I left my family behind because I didn't want to live like that. I wanted something more. But unknowingly, I invited all that crap into my home and I am struggling internally.
Can I make this work? Can I change these children? or is it too late. Will I waste the rest of my life chasing them trying to keep them straight in theirs?
My mom is still chasing my sister and my youngest one too. They are 27 and 23. I don't want to live like that.
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