The Good... we are all still alive and we are heading towards the end of birthday month in these parts. (Yep, BIRTHDAY MONTH- one in mid-January and then three weeks in a row ending this Friday. God help me...)
I found some OTC pills that were helping my RA tremendously. Well, helping my joints which, in turn, helped with my pain... not 100% pain free but less pain none the less.
Which leads me to...
THE BAD.... apparently my jaw decided it was time to join the RA party and now I can barely swallow anything...last night's dinner...nope. Those new joint pills...nope. Ibuprofen... uh,uh. $#%^!!!!!!
Could it be stress? Maybe, considering a few months ago my pay was reduced due to budget cuts and then last month my hours were reduced by 11 hours a week starting March 1st. Hmmm..come to think of it, this jaw pain really got bad yesterday.....
THE UGLY... as a consequence to BIRTHDAY MONTH (maybe caps will make it exciting, naw...still sucked). I've had RAD and Borderline Personality ALL OVER THE PLACE. The kind that makes me wonder "How in the F, I got here? Why in the F, did I ever agree to this? What in the F is exactly causing all this?, When in the F will it ever really end? and Who in the F did I think I was, since I thought I could do this at all?" (Can you tell I was a writer for the school paper and yearbook?, Surely if not by my jacked up writing which in my defense it's been 16 years, it's by my investigative questions into my own situation....again..naw? ok)
*sigh* on a positive note... I seem to be ahead of the ball this year, we are only in the third month and I am averaging a child per month (well this month is still young) who "HATES ME". However, I think that streak will end because LORD FORBID if *I* believe one of them ....get ready for this.... LOVES ME--- GASP!
Last week as CDQ was biting herself and screaming at me that she loves it (biting herself) and that it feels good and that she was born evil and will always be evil and that..that...that well, to quote her... "I HATE YOU!" I decided to share with her the following:
"You were not born evil, you are not like this, I already got to see the real CDQ and she is NOTHING like this. I don't know why you want to be like this, but it is not who you are. Furthermore, you hate me? Did you know that you must love someone first in order to hate them?" and I shut the door and left the room to total silence from CDQ for the rest of the day. Not a peep.
It's true. At least back in the day, when I was searching for the perfect word for the way I felt about my bio father... I looked up the word hate and that's what it said.... in order to hate someone, to have that intense of a feeling you must love them with an intensity as well. The definition has changed since I looked it up in elementary school. It focuses more on the slang and usage now than the actual meaning of the word.
So that's why I figured they won't be throwing that "hate" word around here so easily. lol
So much more to tell you guys...this little snippet was nothing compared to the whole thing that happened. But I can't get into that right at this moment...homeschool is waiting...
For the record, the word I found as a kid for my bio father that fit perfectly.... indifferent. Of course, I won't share that with the kids. LOL!
Waiting for Wednesday...my two youngest girls are seeing a female doctor to put an end to the periods. It's too much for them (i.e. CDQ) and they shouldn't have to worry about the things that come along with it.
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