What would you do?

Last night, the oldest approached me because she was worried about her friend.

Her friend A came to her crying because she had bled through her pants at school. One might say "poor girl, that sucks!" but the story went on. This girl, A, has had her period since last November and hasn't told anyone, not even her mother. She's too afraid to.

This boggled my mind. My first reaction was to tell my oldest that she should reassure her it's ok and that her mom won't be mad at her. I mean what Mom would be? Then I heard Hubbins say "Carrie" from the game room. I've never seen the movie but I've heard she had a freaky mom or something.

Then I had this flashback to my step-sister. When she started her period, her mom threw a party for her and invited her friends from school. Girls and BOYS. There was cake and everything. (I'm not kidding). Can you imagine? I think that's part of why she's so messed up.

They tried to get A to go to the school nurse but she wouldn't do that either. I told the oldest that I would talk to her about telling her mom if she wanted me to or even tell her Mom for her (but I doubted that would go over well), but I didn't think I should talk to her about the entire period thing unless her mom really wasn't available to her. But the oldest is afraid that if A finds out she told, she won't trust her or be her friend anymore. I told the oldest that her friend really needs to get some help because there are things she needs to know to take care of herself because she can get sick and die.

Anyhow, The Oldest told me that A suspects the teacher knows that she's started. I thought perfect! I'll go explain the situation to the teacher and since A already thinks the teacher is suspicious, she won't know that the oldest told anyone. Win-Win! Right?

Well, I went in this morning to tell the teacher and this is what the teacher said:

"Not my problem."

Yeah. Did you read it again? Because I know I did a double take. I mean, I'm not asking her to explain how the eggs drop or what ever you know. Day in and day out they drill my kid about abortion blah, blah, blah but they can't do a simple thing like speak to a child and let her know they are aware and are going to tell her parents or EVEN do something as simple as send her to the school nurse who will inform her of what she needs to be safe?

Just as a woman, can you imagine how confused, scared and frustrated this girl is? She's 12 years old. She needs some help.

For my kids, I bought the American Girl book of how to take care of yourself and it covers periods. Also, I am very blessed that Hubbins takes care of all that kind of stuff in a very scientific sort of way. LOL! He's not shy about talking about the reproductive system and where babies come from and all that and he talks to the kids in a matter of fact way because he's not embarrassed by it at all. All our kids have been sexually abused and they have seen their parents having sex and masturbating and they have been exposed to tons of movies with sex in it so it's not like anyone is jumping ahead of anything in this house. It's more like trying to repair and inform them. It's sad but I think it would be even more damaging to ignore it and let them carry all those misconceptions of what they have seen in life.

I don't know what I am going to do about A. I offered to photocopy the parts of the book that talk about periods. But the oldest thinks A would throw it away because her mom might find it. I might just photocopy it anyway. I thought about just giving the whole book to the girl through the oldest but if she's afraid of the photocopies and is just going to throw it away, I'd rather keep it for my other two girls who haven't read it.

I told my Mom when I started. I didn't even think not to. I remember she told my step-father she needed to go buy some "tamales". I was like tamales? and apparently he was too because he was asking her and all she kept doing was repeating the word, until he got it. LOL!

If this had happened at public school, I don't know if I would be so apprehensive about helping the girl. But because it's a catholic school and some parents are overprotective and the girl is obviously afraid. I'm scratching my head here trying to figure out the best approach so that A gets help, nobody's toes are stepped on and the oldest doesn't lose A as a friend.

What to do...what to do???