Video cameras

So next Thursday Hubbins and I will be anxiously awaiting  a video camera system delivery for our house. 

I can't take it anymore. We've talked to a contractor about adding on and it may be possible, but it will still be awhile at best. I have a lot of work ahead of me for that to happen. Funding, planning, etc... we decided not to move forward with the e@xtreme ho^me edition thing because although I share with you guys some of the stuff that we are going through, it is still a whole other animal to put it out there on tv. Like I told my friend, I just don't feel it's my story to tell. 

In the meantime Poufy and CDQ still share a room because they are the most toxic in the house. The other three are doing ok and I know to change them up will be a major mistake. 

I ordered the cameras because of an incident that occurred and the fact that I can truly not tell who is telling the truth. They both lie so naturally.  This is CDQ and Poufy I am talking about.  I have caught CDQ picking on Poufy's scabs, ear wax, ear piercings...whatever she can think of and it didn't appear that Poufy was denying her either.  However, today after dinner SS told me that Poufy told her that CDQ was covering her mouth and threatening to kick her butt if she told and that CDQ was touching Poufy's privates. 

My first reaction was pure anger. But being a RAD mom, I remembered to take a step back because they L-I-E and how many times have I made an ass out of myself over serious allegations like these to find out I was so wrong and lied to? 

I can't say what's true and what isn't. What I can say is the day that SS said Poufy told her this is also the day that CDQ "got" Poufy in trouble because you see they don't do anything to get in trouble, they have people who get them into trouble.  So it could be payback, after all don'tcha know I beat them daily and don't feed them? 

At least that was CDQ's story last week because she hates it here. Why? We don't get the Disney Channel. That's why she hates it here. I heard her on the intercom.  OOOOH man...words, words, words, words, WORDS!  (<-- That sentence is me being good or trying to) 

For now, my head is swimming.  My gut is telling me it's not true.  But it kinda feels more like denial than my gut.  

All I know for sure is that I can't wait for the system to get here. It's a dvr system, so we will have 24 hour surveillance and it will be recorded. It has night vision as well and I can access it over the internet and over my cell phone. 

I hope this is the answer and I hope it was a lie.  CDQ is dangerous and I often feel like she will not be able to lead a normal life and will have to be institutionalized because she is a danger to herself and others.  I get sooo nervous because she talks about being a foster mom when she grows up. *deep breath*

So far the whole," I like it when you beat yourself up thing" has worked to stop her from punching her legs and slamming her head against the wall when she doesn't get what she wants but she's getting older, bigger and more threatening and violent. 

I've ordered some books and DVDs  from the attachment site.

I was also excited to discover that I own a Reiki cassette. I found it late last night in my bathroom under the sink! It's divine intervention I say! I hadn't even heard of Reiki until I read Lisa's blog. I don't know where it came from...

Well, I mean I know where it came from there is a card taped to it that says the name of the woman that does it but I mean I don't know how it ended up in my house or how long it's been here. But it's a 60 minute educational program that explains Reiki and has some guided routines.  I haven't had a chance to pop it in and listen but I'm excited. 

Ok, maybe it's the excitement over the cassette or my head is still swimming from all of this but I am feeling kinda weird and dizzy right now so I am going to end this here and walk away and try to clear my mind.

Hope you all are well.