Yesterday

So yesterday...the kids were having such a great day that I was on the fence on whether to tell them what day it was. I was surprised every single one of them had forgotten, but I thought maybe it was a positive step? Who knows?

Lately the kids have been reminiscing on good times in OUR home. They always talk about the fun times with friends or bad times with their foster parents or bio parents and never anything that they have done here. I know it's not because of a lack of fun here. But like I said within the last three weeks the kids have been talking about some of the things that we've done as a family since their placement over 2 years ago. For me that was big. I don't know why, but it just seemed big.

Part of me figured if they didn't remember then maybe it was a good thing but the other part of me remembered the looks on their faces when two of them realized they had forgotten her birthday. It wasn't good and it didn't help that one of the ones who remembered was CDQ and she wouldn't let anyone else forget that they forgot. ARGH!

I decided to bite the bullet and bring it up over cupcakes after dinner. There were tears... all mine. I know such a wuss. I was able to steer it away and it ended in laughter and some interesting stories about Bela. Like how she could stick her entire foot in her mouth! and how her first word was "mine!"

I cried, not for Bela, but because as I looked around the table just before I told them, I saw their expectant faces, there wasn't an angry face, or a sad face or a blank face. There were smiles, wonder, each kid was *there* and was happy to be there and it made me cry because for the first time ever in my life, I was looking at family and it seemed like no matter how many times we might fall back, we will still always be moving forward...together.