Rheumatoid Arthritis Remission

These are the pills I take everyday, Starting from left to right: The big round one is a chewable vitamin C, the orange one is turmeric and bromelain - this is an anti-inflammatory. I actually found that the bromelain is necessary for me. Straight turmeric just doesn't cut it. The long oval white one is pantothenic acid- this is also an anti-inflammatory and it's used for morning stiffness and aches. Next to it is zinc and the last is vitamin D3. When I first started taking these I stopped the ibuprofen full on. I read that even though doctors know that NSAIDs not only kill pain but muscles, it is still the highest prescribed drug for these types of things. 

I will tell you, when I started taking these pills, I was hardly able to stand. I was spending my days in my recliner and I most literally didn't even want to breathe for fear I would move a vein or muscle. It hurt just to be. It hurt in my sleep, it hurt when I woke up. I dreaded standing up and boy did I dread the toilet. Movement became like some awkward painful dance. 

So, I did some research and decided "what the hell!" I mean what could it hurt? I was desperate and I wasn't getting any better. My inflammation was so bad that I couldn't bend my fingers unless I used my other hand to do it.  I noticed the effects immediately. But I still was in an incredible amount of pain. I was trying to go cold turkey on the Motrin. But I couldn't so I just took one 200 mg tablets 2 out of the 3 hellish days.  I almost didn't think I was going to make it. I was also taking Cat's Claw for pain, but I can tell you that didn't help me much. 

The immediate effects I noticed was a huge decrease in inflammation in my ankles first, then my wrists where I had huge knot like bumps.  Then my left knee and lastly my right knee and fingers. The pantothenic acid was working in the mornings. Don't get me wrong, it still hurt but this was a different pain. 

I had muscle pain: shoulders, knees, ankles, arms. Oh and in my fingers, especially my thumbs of all things. I would not take anything for it, because I realized muscle pain is something I could deal with compared to inflammation and I figured the stuff I read about NSAIDs must've been true. 

Within the first week, I was up and around doing stuff. Of course, I over did it. But as long as I could keep the inflammation in check the pain was bearable. I was and still deal with the mind-numbing and mysterious (to me) fatigue. I almost want to call it a mental fatigue because everything feels fully drained out and empty, I even have trouble getting my body to breathe. I just feel so.tired.

I still have my days and mostly it's my own fault because I forget my pills.  I have trouble swallowing pills and I was drowning myself to get them down only to throw them up. I started spacing them out.  I take the turmeric and bromelain first because it's the one that I noticed I really need. 

I still have mini-flares. I don't even know whether to consider it a flare up because it seems so minor in comparison to where I have been.

This picture is from yesterday. You can see how ugly my knuckles are now and you can also see the swollen finger. Sure it hurts but nothing like before and again, it's my own fault because it was two days without pills because I had completely forgotten. I know, how can I forget something like that?

This is a side view where you can see my fingers are actually starting to go in different directions. I'm sure there is probably some kind of jargon for this crap. My hand is also strangely wider. I don't remember my pinky being so....so...separate. 

This last picture is a view from above. This is how my fingers lie "flat" now. I wish I would've taken a picture when it was clawed. It was almost lopsided-spider-like and very scary.  

Right now I am in "mild" pain. My feet have the same issue as my hand and both hands have slight swelling in one finger. But it is only painful to touch it and I can deal with that. Especially after all I accomplished yesterday. 

I did a lot of sorting and wiping down stuff for homeschool. At one point I was kneeling over the tub to wash some oversized plastic book holders. I knew I was going to pay for it, but I wasn't expecting the extra "ass-like" lump that formed later last night on my thigh near my butt.  The lump is still there but the pain is almost gone. 

So, I'm not pain free or symptom free but I can deal with this. At first, I thought "HEY! I solved this!" and that the RA was gone but then it hit me like a ton of bricks that it will never be gone and this is what people call remission. That was hard to swallow. Really hard. 

Just to get this out there. I am not being paid for any of this. I have never formally been diagnosed and I don't have medical insurance.  I'm not the only one to have RA in my family and my symptoms are right on. I suppose I could have myself diagnosed but I am terrified of the whole pre-existing condition thing having seen how Hubbin's has been treated because of his quadriplegia and I don't want to be on injectables or any of those other drugs that seem to only make people feel worse instead of better.  I've made up my mind about this thing. I have kids and Hubbins to take care of but some day I won't and if I am going to be all crooked and unable to do the things I want, I will just check out.  I'm a wuss like that.