Ok, I wrote this looooong post and went to add pictures and my browser froze and even though I had saved my post before I clicked to add pictures when I brought it all back up it was gone. $$%^^&!
I thought I would share my pee story with you instead. Aren't I great? I just hope it isn't one of those you had to be here for it to be funny moments. *blush* Most of us talk about our kids peeing issues but I'm going to put mine out there.
So, this is what happened. I *hate* crickets. I mean really really do not like them. But I feel like they sense this or something and purposely come to where ever I am at to bug me.
It started out innocently enough, I heard a cricket in my bathroom and I was telling my mom how I loathe them and how they are out to get me and she rolled her eyes at me basically dismissing me, but not 15 minutes later, I could have SWORN the cricket was behind my recliner.
I got up and went to find my mom to prove my point. When she came to my room, she went near my recliner and she thought she heard it behind my recliner too. So she gets on my recliner, knees first and leans forward on the back part of the recliner. She's leaning saying something to me when the recliner tips forward and quite literally her FACE is plastered to the wall. I mean she is kissing the wall, her legs are flailing all around because the recliner has opened and the part for your feet is now up near my waist. Her face coming in contact with the wall is what stopped her from tipping completely over.
I am standing there basically just taking it all in dumbfounded when that little voice in my head tells me to push down on the foot part of the recliner ( I don't know why I was operating in slow motion. lol!). I push it down and her face comes away from the wall. The first thing she says is, "I think I broke my glasses!"
Between the feet flailing and the way she said that, I lost it. I started laughing uncontrollably and that's when it happened. Less than 10 ft away from the bathroom. I did a mad dash, but I was too late. *blush*
1.) I didn't even have to pee.
2.) I now call my mom "The Pee Whisperer"
I'm telling you. She has made my sisters pee several times. Even her friends. Her friend L, who she used to hang out with all the time peed herself so many times. She peed on a dance floor in a club, a cab in Mexico, on a cruise... my mom does some stupid things. I don't think all the people she knows have weak bladders.
I hadn't peed myself in decades until then. UGH! Last time she almost got me, we were in a Target. She was smelling lotions and soaps. She opened a bottle of shampoo (I think it was) and she couldn't smell it, so she squeezed it a little except it shot up onto the front of her shirt. If that wasn't bad enough. She was standing there trying to rub it off her shirt when she created a LATHER right there on the chest part of her shirt. Holy cow! I was laughing so hard I was crying and then I decided I better walk away from her before she did something else!
Oh gosh, I almost forgot like a week later when we were emptying the storage of her stuff she almost made me wet myself completely again. We were trying to load her table into my van and it's the kind that spreads apart to add more wood slats to make it bigger. Well I was picking it up from the bottom and she decided to pick it up from the legs. Except when she grabbed the legs and lifted she caught her shirt and some of her belly skin in the space between the two ends.
What was funny was she was yelling at me to put it down when I didn't even have it yet and it was her who was squeezing the two ends of the table together by the legs and pinching her belly skin. So, imagine this...the top flat side of the table is up against her and she has one hand on each of the legs, when she picks it up she squeezes the legs together pushing the two halves tightly together on her belly pinching herself.
I yelled at her to put it down and she did then she rips her shirt up under her chin to see her belly, exposing herself in the process. She was wearing a bra of course, but still. She's pointing out the red streak going down her belly and all this in front of a security camera that was pretty much facing our storage unit. They must've got an eye-full from us that day. lol!
I IM'd Hubbins what happened and he wanted me to ask for the footage. *rolling eyes* He wanted to send it to the funny video show.
So there it is....I'm worried I might become the next "Whisperer" because not too long ago, I did something that made the oldest pee her pants. I wish I could remember what it was... I think a cricket might have been involved.
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