The shed fiasco

Ok, so I knew my mom was moving here and I bought a shed. It looked really great at the store. But what I got home wasn't. I had the bottom and the sides all put together and was starting on the roof when I realized two parts were broken.  I didn't want to take the whole dang thing apart.  I called the company and inquired about new parts. They said those particular parts were back ordered and that they could send them to me when they received them from Israel.  I asked how long that would take. They told me three weeks from when they received them.  I told them it was unacceptable.

Meanwhile, the shed was still out there partly built. I had already had the kids tear apart and trash the boxes in an attempt to keep them from being blown all over my yard and on top of all that I couldn't locate the receipt.  Good times right?

So I went to the store and spoke with them about the shed.  The said they would give me the parts from the display, except when they started to take the display apart, it became too complicated without taking the whole thing apart.

So instead they took one from the floor and exchanged the parts I needed. I was so relieved. I had my parts and I was going to have the shed for my mom's stuff. BTW, this was the Wednesday before last Wednesday. When I got home, I discovered the shed had been blown over in a wind gust and there were now additional pieces broken. Like the stubborn person that I am, I tried to make it work and picked all the pieces up and put it back together. It was holding up nicely, I thought...considering.

So then I'm back at the part where I had discovered the two broken pieces and this time I take my brand new unbroken pieces and I go to snap it in place. I grasped it from it's sides to slide it in and I'll be damned if I didn't break the piece with my hand!  At that point, I had it. I mean my hands are weak. They are getting stronger but when it comes to a pincher like grasp I don't have much strength so to break something like that...I just came to the conclusion it was a POS.

So my mom ends up getting here and I have no shed so I have to rent her one. Fast forward to yesterday when I was able to pack up the whole thing and take it back to the store.  I, of course, no longer had the boxes so I had put all the pieces in the van.  They are vinyl pieces.  I was embarrassed to be taking the whole thing back like that but I'd had it.

They sent two guys out to help me. Now let me explain this about the shed. It was brown and tan. My van, it's slate (blue/grey) and black.  There is a compartment in the back of my van that is built into the siding of the van. It houses the jack and other parts to change the tires. The compartment is covered by the same siding throughout the van. You un-velcro the siding and you lift it out and away from the van and it exposes the metal body of the van and the parts.

When the guys had unloaded the van, they asked me if they got all the parts out. I had taken parts from the middle/front of the van and propped them against the van. I looked in the back, saw that the piece was still on there (because I was worried believe it or not that they might somehow mix it up) and that the shed parts were all out. I told them they got everything and started to show them that I had some parts on the side.  I thought the guy had simply shut the back doors for me.

But after I got to the next store and went to put the stuff in the back I saw it was missing.  I was in a state of disbelief because I had specifically checked that. So I get on my cell and called them. I asked what time they were closing and realized I wasn't going to make it.  I asked him what would happen if I couldn't pick it up before they closed. He said it would get shipped out and then there was chuckling. I said "are you serious?" Then he said he could pull it for me.

Phew! Crisis averted...

So I showed up today to pick up the piece and the girl said "Oh yeah, I pulled that piece out yesterday and put it aside. I'll have to go to the back and get it." I was about to tell her how happy I was because of my luck and all and decided against it. I figured I'd tell when she brought the piece back to me. lol!

So I see her walking back empty handed. Apparently, she pulled it out and set it aside but someone picked it up and put it back with the shed and shipped it out.

I just stared at her.

She kept apologizing. I told her I wanted to speak to a manager. So she got the manager and he approached me with the I'm sorry we shipped your car part out, it's unfortunate you bundled it with the shed. I'm sure my eyes bulged.

I quickly told him, um....IT WASN'T ME. I explained to him the obvious color differences between my car's interior and the shed I purchased from them.  He was like "Really?"  I think my eyes may have popped out that time.

So now in addition to having no shed, I now have to make a trip to the dealership to get the part replaced. At least they will reimburse me for it when I bring in the receipt showing I replaced it. I hope that I can get it replaced.

one-four-nine!!!

Remember her blood sugar from yesterday?  This morning it's 149 BAYBEE!!!

Whoo HOO!

In the picture above she was in the middle of saying the number when my flash popped up and startled us both. LOL!  In my excitement, I forgot to pop it up.

I think she (and everyone else around here) is getting a kick out of MY excitement.  Last night she was trying to make a potholder on one of the kid's weaving looms from homeschool.  It was cute and funny because she didn't realize she was supposed to weave it, so she was just chugging along very busy like layering them until the loom gave.

Right now, she is out getting her hair cut and permed.  She's having a good time and she's getting better. Why can't they let her have a stress-free vacation? What is it that they have done that they are so afraid of her to be out of their grasp?

Back to our regular programming...

This was written last night but posted tonight. This morning when we took my Grandmother's blood it was 178. The lowest it's been since she came for her visit! YES!  Hoping it continues to go down.

Strangely enough, the stuff hit the fan about an hour and a half after I got a hit from Tucson...Hmmmm.... I wonder how they are going to explain the fact that since she's been gone (a week Friday) her bank account has dropped down to $136.  There are no transactions from my state, ya know? The one she's actually been in the last week. I know this because she hasn't even taken her purse with her when she goes out.  Everything she needs or wants is paid for.

She said she didn't want to go back, so I told her she could stay here as long as she wants and even live here if she wants to. Of course, she was mad....so I don't know whether to believe she truly wants to live here. I heard her tell the lady at the bank over the phone that she likes it here and that she's going places and is in no hurry to get back.

I'm worried for her.
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Things here are going great!

My grandmother isn't nearly as bad off as everyone is saying. I think people need to stop talking around her and talk to her. I've held numerous conversations with her and she's held her own just fine. I don't think people ask her anything, I think they just tell her.    

She made me tear up the first night because she said she had something to tell me. She told me she was glad she got a chance to see me again before she dies.  I could tell it was important to her to tell me that. I told her she's no where near dying and that's when I realized people are treating her like she has one foot in the grave and that's just not the case.

I was so angry. She got here with clothes that had holes in them, the shirt she was wearing was a shirt that I happened to remember seeing on her when her and I visited California in the 80s when I was 9 or so, I used to have a picture somewhere. It was new then, but now it was at least 2 sizes too small and instead of buttons it was being held closed by safety pins.  I should have taken a picture of it.

Instead, I went straight to the store and bought her some new shirts and shorts and undies, etc... I also bought her a new nightie.  It makes me sad too because my grandmother has given up in that respect. She would have never gone out in public like that.

She seems happier now though. She's been working on jigsaw puzzles and she even sewed a felt heart and teddy bear by hand. She went shopping the day before last. She was ready to have her hair done but the lady I like wasn't in. She's supposed to get it done Friday and she's really excited.

Today I bought her a new recliner. There was an awesome Father's Day sale out here and I was able to get her this really cool recliner that has heat and massage. It even has a cooler for her drinks in the arm rest and a place for her to put all her magazines and tissue.  I think the name of the recliner is "The Tailgater". It's the cutest thing. It came with one of those can snuggie thingies.

I have some concerns about her health. There are things that I think aren't right. I've discovered that she hasn't been taking her diabetes or alzheimer's medications regularly. Case in point, she has patches she's supposed to wear for memory. These appear to have been prescribed in April and there haven't been any refills since. She still had 15 patches left from that first box.  When my mom and I gave her a shower I discovered she was wearing two patches. My mom doesn't know who put the patch on her lower back but she is only supposed to wear one at a time.

I spoke with Hubbins home health nurse about diabetes and she was really informative and helpful. We try to buy as much organic as we can, you know- veggies and fruit and now I'm buying with carbs and sugar counts in mind. My grandmother is eating healthy now, she hasn't had any Coke either. I've bought her flavored waters that have less than one gram of sugar, no calories and 4 carbs. We've cut back on the white stuff- bread, rice, etc... and we've increased her protein a little.

She does have some stiffness, but she appears to be getting stronger and more mobile. I worry that she might fall going to the bathroom but she's not limping so much. Instead of my mom and I holding her under each arm, I can now hold her hand and walk her to the bathroom.  Hubbins has a potty chair that is helping her tremendously. It's kind of funny because she loves it.  It's not so hard on her knees and she doesn't have to drop down because the seat is higher and wider like an actual chair.  It has arm rests to help her get up and down too. I noticed she's not getting up as often to go to the bathroom. The first few nights we were up between 18-20 times. Last night she didn't get up to potty at all. Tonight has been moderate so far but she drank a ton because she was trying out the flavored waters.

My mom also bought her a shower chair. We haven't tried that yet. I had just put a folding chair in my shower but already she was liking that. She only has a tub at her house, but I have a walk in shower.

I had bought Hubbins a really nice wheelchair when we were first dating because I thought it would work as a shower/potty chair but because of his contractures it didn't work. I'm glad we didn't get rid of it. It works wonderfully for my grandmother. When her and my mother went shopping, we packed up the chair and they were out for hours. My mom pushed my grandmother in the chair and my grandmother pushed the shopping cart. lol! I didn't go with them, but I bet it was a sight.

Right now she has a cough that is worrying me. She has a lot of congestion. I don't know what is causing it. I thought it might be allergies at first but my mom said she's had the cough for years.

I've never seen pictures of my grandmother smiling and I've actually taken pictures of her here at my house smiling and laughing AND looking at the camera. That's big stuff right there. I will treasure this time and everything she has touched here. I'd like for her to stay here because I think it would be the best thing for her. But I know she has a life back in Arizona.  I worry that if she were to go back she would deteriorate. I know it's a hard call for people and I know I have a lot on my plate (so it would seem)  but she's no where near death's door and I think her best option would be to continue to thrive here.  With all that I have written can you believe it's only been 4 days since she's came here.

Just knowing there is an additional adult in my home has decreased my stress levels tremendously. My grandmother's needs are simple and so easy compared to my RAD experiences that it doesn't even stress me out. My situation doesn't seem so heavy anymore.  I don't have to worry that if something were to happen I wouldn't have anyone to take care of my kids or be at the hospital.  My RA appears to be in remission. I have some soreness but my muscles are getting stronger and no inflammation.

Over the last two weeks I've installed two air conditioners: one was 48 lbs and the other was 118 lbs.  I did well. I helped the movers with boxes and stuff over the weekend and I had some stiffness. Nothing major.  Just today, I put together the recliner and pulled in and installed our replacement freezer and I'm still doing great. Don't mistake this for bragging, I'm just so surprised.

I'll have to tell you about the shed fiasco because I also tried to put a shed together last week. Because of that, I now have to make a trip to the dealership for my van. My luck!

But I'm sure this is already waaaay too long and I've probably bored everyone.

Hope everyone is well.

Backstabbers

So, I'm pretty sure I have a relative reading here.  I hate to call someone out. But I do have a reader from Tucson, Arizona checking my blog nearly hourly.  If you are a reader who isn't related to me, stop here because none of the rest of this isn't meant for you and I am sorry I keep mentioning this but it is a little strange for the hourly check ins and I hope you understand my concern for my family and don't take offense. IF you are a friend of my relatives, you have no business here either because chances are you are doing more harm then good because you have your head up your ass from listening to the wrong people.

If you are my sister, it's coming bitch....oh believe me the hurt is coming.

On the other hand if you are the backstabbing whore of a relative that I think you are. Why don't you finally do something worth while and back the fuck off. My business is none of yours.  I know you get off on dragging people through the mud...but unfortunately you're going to be the only pig playing in that pen dear aunt. See I have lots of things you don't: a heart and I'm honest, plus I don't have a prison record just for starters.

You've abused me in ways that are unforgivable and now you think you are going to talk about MY kids.  Fuck off bitch.  Seriously.  My kids have a reason for their disorders, they were abused and traumatized. What's your excuse you jealous whore?  I suppose I should thank you though, because of your abuse I am able to understand and help my kids in ways that I couldn't have.  This is helping them to get better in leaps and bounds.  You see, I have a sister who is just like you.  You know which one since you like to talk about shit you don't know.

I chuckled when I heard my grandfather sent me a food box.  Unfortunately, he should have gave it to you. Since I hear you're the one who can't keep a job, a house or  a car...hell....I hear you can't even keep people in your life like a man and your own kid.  Not too shocking though. I prayed for your child the minute I heard you were pregnant. I have to admit, I was surprised you didn't murder this one...I prayed he would be spared from you and your evil heartless ways. I prayed he'd have a chance to become human and feel love.

You don't need to worry about my finances. Believe me, I've made more in my lifetime thus far then you have made in yours and I'm not even half your age.  And guess what else,  I didn't have to steal it from my job or my MOTHER.

You better think very carefully bitch, because all that time you were dragging me around and treating me like shit... well, I was under 8 years old, but as an adult...I remember the things you've done and said. You know.... your dirty little secrets.  They actually have meaning to me now that I understand what you were saying.

I'm sure that man you have now would be interested in knowing your criminal activities. Both past and present.  You might try to step all over my mom and my grandmother, but it won't happen with me. I learned well from you on how to be heartless and uncaring.  I'll tell again, just like I did when I was a kid and guess what else?  Yet, again there won't be a DAMN thing you can do about it.  Back then I was scared of you, throwing me up on that bar, yelling and spitting in my face, smacking me...but now... I know you're just a worthless piece of shit and I know there is a special place in hell for you.

So keep fucking with me, my mother, my grandmother and my family and you'll be packing your bags for prison again....oops...did I say that?

You bet your ass I did!

An update on the move

Thanks guys.  I've been trying to keep my stress and fear in check.

My mom is actually bringing my grandmother in the moving truck as we speak.

My grandmother wants to visit me and every one is in an uproar.  They think she's not going back. But um,  Hello! she has all her doctors out there and she even has appointments at the end of the month that she needs to get to.

There have been threats to call the police, which pisses me off even more. My grandmother used to visit her daughter in California for a month at a time or longer. No one had problems with that, my grandmother didn't need permission. Why can't she visit me? Because I spoke my mind 7 years ago?  Really? The police? *shaking head*  My grandmother has not been declared incompetent by her doctor so wtf?

I'm worried and afraid for my grandmother. My mom says she can tell that my grandmother is worried because she gets quiet. Isn't that awful that she has to worry about all of them and what they are going to think instead of what she wants to do? She's never been to my state. When I talked to her she told me she wanted to see me and wanted to come to my state.  She has dinner plans at Red Lobster with my mom and Hubbins (well as soon as he is able to get up, which looks like he will in a week or two).  She wants to see my kids (this is where she is a little fuzzy, but it could be because no one ever told her I have my sister's kids).  She asked me if they were well behaved and listened to me (all you RAD knowing people will get a good chuckle at that. I did.)  I don't want my grandmother to feel how I am feeling right now.

I'm torn. I know it's the right thing, but I also know my grandmother has her strong and weak moments.  Early yesterday when my mom picked me up she said my grandmother was worried. Last night when she called she told me my grandfather had called and my grandmother told her not to answer the phone twice and chuckled to herself. When I talked to them earlier today, they were on the road and had made a pit stop for a potty break. My grandmother had her trip snacks and rags (enquirer, star, woman's world, etc...) and she was smiling and ready to go. We had joked about them being Thelma and Louise with no suicide or Brad Pitt.

I'm closing for now. I just took my vitamins and supplements and I am feeling nauseous. Ugh. I do not want to throw up.

It's 3 am...

and I am so stressed.

1.) I have a reader from Tucson, AZ and I don't want to scare anyone off but I'm hoping it's not relatives.

2.) I'm angry that I have to worry about relatives reading my blog.  Well, not really relatives but the kids bio mom.

3.) Part of me doesn't want to care and the other part thinks I should move my blog...but then I think when will it ever end...

4.) I hate my so called family.

Do you guys have family that is just plain out trash? That's how I feel about my family. I'm going to lay  out there what I know. My grandmother has alzheimers. Her husband and some of her kids have been ripping her off. Her other kids don't even care enough to take care of her.

My mom is doing all her daily care.

Case in point, My mom was at my grandma's house this past week helping her out around 2 pm. In the course of looking for a drinking glass she discovered that mice had been in my grandmother's cupboards and had eaten cornbread mix and whatnot. Then she gave my grandmother a shower (she is the only one who does this) and discovered that my grandmother has been throwing her underwear out and only has four pairs which were all dirty. To make a long story short, she calls me at 7:30 pm to discuss moving arrangements and I find out that she's just leaving my grandmother's house because she had to do the laundry and make sure she is fed.

I have an uncle who tries, but the rest... I don't know. One aunt is a recluse, the other is too busy with her life in California and the third aunt wants to puke at the thought of bathing my grandmother.  Her other son seems to show up when it suits him. She had six children and this is what it has come to.

I'm pissed because here I am, yes, I am the caretaker for a million people (so it seems) but I work from home, my house is ADA, I actually have a manual wheelchair and a shower chair and a shower she can get into (her home has a bathtub/ shower setup only) and I don't need ANYBODY'S money.  I'm hiring my mom to work for me as a nanny/housekeeper. Someone is here 24/7.

Everybody is soooo worried now. Only one aunt knows most of the situation here.  I have an aunt and an uncle that know that Hubbins is a quadriplegic and none of them save the one aunt knows that I have adopted my half sisters kids. They only know that one of my nieces was killed.

I'm very concerned about my grandmother.  I even said if she did not come with my mother, I was going to call the hotline for the disabled and the elderly.  I can't understand these people.  I really can't. Only my aunt who is a recluse has severe health issues. The rest are just worthless. I mean look at all I have already, it's nothing like them and they can't even take the time for her.  It makes me so angry and hurt.  My grandmother gave her entire life for them. She has and continues to put up with the abuse of my grandfather because she is one of those who is in it for life.

I hate that this has happened to her. I want to protect her from all the vultures. She hasn't been ruled incompetent but she doesn't have a durable power of attorney either. This would leave her at the mercy of her abusive husband who has a gambling problem should she be named incompetent. It's so scary.

I haven't been in the picture for the past 15 years or so because of her husband. I purged all toxic people out of my life then and he was one of them. She always chooses him because she doesn't believe she has another choice. This kills me.  I want no connection with the majority of those people who are supposed to be my family, but I'm not denying anyone access to her if she were to come live here except for the aunt who abused me and even then it's not access to my grandmother, I just don't want to see her. You know?

I can't understand why this has to be like this.  This is clearly the better place for her to be and they can keep on with their worthless lives without having to worry. Part of me thinks most of them are worried about her money and not her. I know my aunt who is sick is worried that I am taking on too much.  I worry that myself.  But you do what you gotta do. I need help and so does my grandmother and mother. I can't see why we can't all help each other out.  Hubbins and I are in a position financially to take them in and still be able to live comfortably without any monetary contribution from either of them.  They can use their money for what they need and not have to pay rent, food or utilities. We got all that.  So what's the problem?

It's some of their (her other children) insecurities and their inability to support themselves which is at stake. They should be honest.  I've never asked anyone for anything. Not a favor or a loan. I've always been able to support myself and have done so most of my life since I was a teen, even helping to support my mother and my sisters for a while by working 4 jobs while still putting myself through school.

As for me, no, I won't be able to purchase my grandmother a recliner or new clothes, but she has her own money for that and no I won't be able to pay my mom's bills but again she will have her own money for that... it's all just crazy to me.

My grandmother used to be a teacher's assistant for many years. I homeschool my kids, I can't think of a better way to help jog her mind by having her work with my kids if she feels up to it. She loved working with kids and all my kids are the right age range.

My grandmother loved to cook and she's always had a tiny kitchen and appliances that don't work. I have a large kitchen that my husband can do wheelies around in his motorized chair with room left over. My grandmother can't do stairs, we don't have any. We have ramps.

It makes no sense why they want to hand her a death sentence.

I don't even want to go into the way my own siblings have been treating my mother.

I am terrified. All I've ever wanted was a real family. I thought I was marrying into a pretty cool and close knit family and boy was that a slap in the face.

I am trying so hard to change this cycle and create the kind of family I always wanted for my children. I've discussed this with my mother. I know it's what she's always wanted for her children. We are both at a loss at how to make this happen.  I'm the only one who seemed to get the message.

Sorry this is so long, I feel a little better putting it out there. It's now 4 am. I probably won't sleep a wink until I know they are both here safely.

Shh...

I'm trying not to jinx myself but I think I found the problem with my computer.

Oh yeah, you all don't know that I was having a computer problem because the damn thing kept freezing up every stinkin time I typed or used the mouse.  I was ready to stomp the thing when I finally came across the patch to fix it. So far so good, knock on wood.

It's two days until my mom and grandmother come. There has been plenty of drama in the mean time but my kids are kicking ass (again hoping not to jinx it).

Things are going well, Hubbins sore is so close to gone we can see the end of the tunnel, literally. His 5 cm and 4 cm tunneling pressure sores are now at .3 cm each.  We can see the bottom of the sores coming up close to the top layer.  I haven't forgotten the post on the wound vac.  I need to upload pics now that my computer is working, but it's a little miracle worker that must be shared.

As for me, this post is coming to you pain free.  I've had pain today, but I've had hardly any inflammation at all and my muscles are getting stronger. This will make more sense when I explain my research and the vitamins and supplements that I am taking that took away the inflammation.  No inflammation reduces the pain by at least 90% AFTER my muscles started to repair themselves.

This might be TMI and it might even be premature but I am so elated I have to share.

You all know Aunt Flo, I'm sure. For me,  the past 10 years or so I have had terrible knock down periods where I've found myself face to the cool floor hunched over.  Let's just say once upon a time every blue moon I would have to take a children's chewable tylenol and I would be out in 10-15 minutes. Then it changed to Mi-dol, A-leve, to finally several Ibuprofen and nothing would help the pain.  My periods would start and stop and then start up again (this actually will come into play when I post about my health later). Anyhoo, to make a short story long, my last cycle was a dream.  I had one persistent cramp, no lags, and none of that other stuff (without getting too graphic, which I hope I haven't done so already).

Of course, I am sooooo suspicious that Flo may come later and this might be caused by stress (even though it was right on time for my cycle), because believe me I am so stressed out right now...if only you guys knew the stuff that was hitting the fan across state lines with family crap (I will tell later, after all the legal matters are settled).  But I've been pretty faithful to taking better care of myself then I had been.  So, who knows.

Anyhow, I might be gone again with all the moving stuff the next week or so but I'm looking forward to some time with my working computer and getting all the posts I've been wanting to write written.

Trying not to get my hopes up and to keep my excitement contained, but things are looking up around here even if my house is a disaster zone at the moment. I've had my inflammation controlled for about a month and a half now and I just seem to be getting stronger. Still have some days of deep fatigue and possibly depression from that...but good overall.

Hope all is well with you guys.