Ok, I give, I give...this has to be a bad joke.

Poufy started her period. She is 8.

This can't be right.

A real post...

will be coming shortly. 

But for now, CDQ still hates me and she told the kids that she's a biatch.  Lovely. I asked if she thought she was a bitch (because if you are going to say it you might as well say it properly) and she smirked and told me yes. Ok, so she won because I asked her if she thought I was a bitch (knowing the answer already) and of course she said yes. Perhaps, the best route would have been to tell her "so you want to be just like me." but instead...*sigh* instead, I told her she hadn't seen anything yet. 

Because honestly... she hasn't. We still have at least 9 more years together and who really knows what the hell I will do next to piss her off.  But I know if it involves doing the right thing or heading in the right direction with her, she will hate it. 

BTW, her smirk fell right off her face when I said that.  Honestly, I'm torn about it because I want her to know I'm not giving up but I also don't want her to be afraid of me. Although, I'm not sure what she would be afraid of. 

So for now, we are chugging along in homeschool, except for her. I have been leaving her out. She's causing chaos with the others: hitting them and just basically trying to get them in trouble because they are doing the right things. They don't want to be around her anyway. 

Get this, they think she's stupid. Well, more pointedly, she does stupid things. I told them they did the same things as her. Poufy and SS told the oldest that they wanted to be good and not do those things or act that way anymore. They don't like being that way. 

However, it's like a switch with mine. It's just off. I know some of your kids have expressed it's a struggle for them. I've seen when my kids struggle. But the RAD diagnosis is still a question in my mind.  I'm sure they will get mad at me and act out again...but I think the peeing and the stealing and the lying beyond normal child limits has ended.  I may be jinxing myself.  But it feels different around here. 

The other kids are happy even with the crappy rules ( I don't like them but if they are working....well what can I say?)  in place.  I haven't rewarded them like I used to whenever they did something good. When they try to bargain with me all I say is "It takes six weeks, at least, to make something a habit." (Boy, if my mother would have said that to me I would have been sooooo annoyed.) I think it's sad but at this point being allowed to feed the dogs is a reward.  

I really shouldn't be so down on it because it means they are embracing the chance at responsibility. They don't know it, but they are. But it's just sad to me.  Maybe because they are so old. I mean wouldn't a younger child be extra eager to have these responsibilities bestowed on them? 

If I take a good look back, I have SS and Poufy who are three weeks into this habit forming journey. Three weeks...funny how it coincided with the end of the oldest's school year. 

At any rate, I have pictures, pictures and more pictures to post.  But Poufy has a Dr's appt. hopefully that doctor won't give me grief because she ran out of pills the day before yesterday and today is the soonest I can pick them up.  

Tell me this, what the hell am I supposed to do with a kid who has a hyperthyroid, eats like a horse but has had like 3 growth spurts upward and hardly any weight gain?  The doctor gets on my case but does she know how much the kids have grown since they've been in my care?  This child has gone from a 4t to a size 6-7 (mainly because she is soooo skinny) in about a year in a half.  

The doctor complained because Poufy's pants were highwaters. Um, did you see her waist?  That's the proof that she's growing but not gaining.  I've bought her longer pants but then they don't fit at the waist...So now, I've resorted to overalls.   

Can't please everyone, can I? 

Hair!

Here I thought for sure I'd totally messed up and said too much to CDQ and was just awful in what I said to CDQ and I find out everyone thinks it was the way to go.  It's all so confusing! 

She's on the up and up now and the boy decided it's his turn to be an @$$.  *sigh* Oh well...

Anyhow, the title of my post... with 4 girls, 3 of whom I still do their hair I am in a constant battle of how to keep their hair tidy. So, these are two of the things that I have tried recently.

Poufy, Poufy, Poufy...her hair is soooooooo...Poufy I had cut it short but the fact is it is a total nightmare trying to figure it out in the morning, cute as the last cut was. 

I've been trying to figure out how to keep it tamed and decided on mini french braids (as Karlton would say, which was the inspiration for this style.lol) connected to each other throughout her head.  I've got to say the style held up for three days. I already have plans to make it better than before, before I had a thought but now I am dangerous...I have a plan. lol 

SS, on the other hand, always has her hair flopped in her face. Not so much as CDQ ,because CDQ is growing out bangs but still I wanted to pull back SS's hair so she could see and we could see her. lol 

I'm still learning how to part and all that crap but this worked and she was really happy with it. I don't have anything on CDQ because this was last week while she was on her rant but I figure I'll be diving in on her hair next with the bangs growing out and all. 

I'm going to let them regrow their hair out long. I don't know how long it will last but we'll see. 

The first half...

Ok, so we weren't off to a good start this morning. I don't know if anyone out there has multiple children with RAD like I do...but hoo boy... CDQ has a touch of narcissm as well...and as soon as she saw any attention turning towards Poufy, she had to take it away.

It has to be all about CDQ good or bad or she's not happy. Somehow, her threatening Poufy ("Go ahead and talk over me and see what happens." ) not being ok when Poufy was trying to tell us CDQ was lying (which we already knew) was because Hubs and I don't like "them", we hate "them". Yeah...I'm still trying to connect those dots. So she had to spiral into a fake meltdown. I don't mind those that much because...well they are fake...so they aren't so bad. They never really end up going anywhere. It's just to switch the focus to her.

So, I tried to nip it in the bud. I tried to appeal to the ODD and told her if that's what it took for her to feel better about herself then it was ok for her to feel and think that right now even though it wasn't true...ok, maybe more passive aggressive than appealing to her ODD, but I will claim ignorance as I am still learning about it. lol

I called Poufy out and explained to her what CDQ was trying to do. Funny side: I heard Poufy on the intercom telling CDQ it didn't matter what she said because "it is MY birthday and YOU are NOT going to take it from ME." go girl! I asked her if she thought she deserved a b-day party. She told me she didn't know... I asked her for reasons why she thought she didn't deserve a birthday party...and to be honest... I should have documented this sooner because I've forgotten. lol I was more interested in why she thought she did deserve a birthday party. She told me that she thought she deserved a birthday party because yesterday and today she did tapping about behaving. I haven't done any tapping like that with them, but I guess she changed making good choices to behaving. I guess, if it works. lol She thought that was the only reason, which was sad to me. So I wrote her up a small list of some of the reasons why she deserved a birthday party.

Anyhow, I waited until CDQ was in the shower to give Poufy her Princess stuff. I didn't want CDQ being a snot and saying something mean because she's jealous. I wanted Poufy to have a moment if it was going to happen at all. Oh yeah, ignore what she's wearing, I was trying to find something that she could wear under the dress and still be comfortable.





So here are some takes from it. Most kids would rip into a gift but not her...you can see she doesn't trust. I thought it was funny that she liked the ballet shoes the most. I think you can also sense my hesitation...damn! I felt like I was ready to sprint off or something, you know like toss it to her and run! lol

I wish I would have recorded her when she ran off. She was on tiptoe holding the dress like the Princesses do. It made me cry. *blush*

I came to my room to tell Hubs what he missed (he's currently still stuck in bed for another hour.) and I heard her on the intercom. I rushed to record it because out of everything she got in that bag, she was reading my note to CDQ and I hope you can hear it because she is absolutely giddy and giggling over the note! I cried again. *burning blush*

I threw them all outside and I put a few streamers up in the kitchen. Nothing fancy, I decorated her chair with streamers too. Right now the house smells like a really good French Vanilla cake... I have to wrap her birthday gift still, but I think it's going to be ok.

Then there were silent stares...

Yesterday when I went out to the black friday sales, I found myself mushed into the aisle with all the nutritional drink stuff and while I was waiting for a break to get back into the traffic of the store, I saw Ensure that helps keep and maintain weight. So I bought some.

But let me back up a little here.

Poufy, our 7 year old girl (because her brother is now 7 years old too), has a hyperthyroid and she has a problem with lying AND she has a problem with making herself throw up for attention. So she looks like a little skeleton with bug eyes. The eyes are part of her Grave's Disease.

She's never full. NEVER. I give her healthy foods and she eats and eats and eats and nothing ever shows. She cries if she can't have thirds or more. I have to tell you that all the kids plates are always heaping. They eat more than I do and if you combined Hubs and my own plates they get more than that on their first serving and it's never good enough. I worry about their weight when they get older. Obesity, diabetes, etc...runs in their genes. Right now, it doesn't even show on them how much they eat.

About a year ago, she started "getting sick". I caught her making herself throw up. She at 6 was talking about calories and stuff. They all were because the school was teaching them about calories and fat. But I don't think it was because she was worried about getting fat. I think she started to make herself throw up because she started to get attention for it. It was a fun game for her. Even after I had to take her to ER and they gave her suppositories to stop the vomiting because she had done it so many times, even she couldn't stop it.

I've been torn several times that she has done this whether she is truly sick, bored or what? She did it last week and she was going to do it again a couple of nights ago when I went in to check on SS and caught Poufy sitting up in bed pushing her knee into her stomach...this at 3 am.

I'm torn because if one is sick and spewing, I don't believe they should be fed so they can retch some more. But if she's faking it, she needs to eat. Like I said, I think it's a game. I've all but begged her to tell the truth. I've threatened that she won't eat until I know she is well enough to keep stuff down and I guess I've screwed up because I've given her control. But what can I do? If there's something I can do, it's escaped me.

So I bought these drinks that have 350 calories and the nutrition she needs yesterday and I gave her one before dinner. She actually thinks she is getting a shake. She sucked that sucker down and went on her way. It's confusing. If it is a food issue, maybe she doesn't think drinks have calories? If it's an attention issue, then I guess she feels special. If it's a thyroid issue, I guess we will find out.

Last night at dinner, she was on her second plate of food, and granted she only had about 3 spoons of stuffing left but she sat there. Hubs and I were talking, the other kids were goofing around. She timidly said my name and I turned. Then she said the two words that stopped the ENTIRE table.

"I'm full."

Maybe we all shouldn't have had such a reaction. It was probably a mistake but we were all caught off guard. I tried to recover quickly and I told her that's fine and that she didn't have to eat it.

She got down from the table and I watched the other kids watch her clear her dishes. SS exclaimed that she could see Poufy's stomach through her sweatshirt. Poufy looked happy. Not because of the attention. This was like a satisfied happy. A happy that didn't include us or what was going on in the room, just her in her world, patting her full tummy.

Usually by this time of day, I would have been on the brink of just meltdown myself with this child, yes, it's barely going to be 10 am. But I haven't heard a peep from her, which is unheard of. I'm afraid to share this because like I said, seems like when I try to be happy about something, it all goes down hill. I didn't hear her on the monitor last night either, I believe she slept the night through.

I know it's new, I know it probably won't last and I know the full feeling is probably something I shouldn't promote because if she thinks all her life she will have to eat until she feels that feeling to be happy, well....

But I have a plan. I am going to give her the drinks for 6 days and weigh her again. (BTW, I weighed her yesterday and she weighs 37 lbs, she has lost weight. ARGH!) If she has gained weight, I am going to give her 6 more days of the drink to see if she continues to gain weight. I'll have to keep in mind if she is eating less. From there, I think I will stop the drinks for a week and see what happens. If she loses weight and eats the same or more. We know it's surgery to remove her thyroid. I think it will be pretty clear that the meds she is on aren't working. I know they are hesitant to do these procedures on children. But if that's what it is, it's disrupting her whole life. Of course this isn't exact and it's subject to change... but I just want to see her happy again. We all want our old Poufy back.

Mother knows best...

Well, the results are in...she's being starved.

NOT! She has a hyperthyroid. I mentioned that to the therapist and she looked at me like I was crazy so then I believed I was crazy, because see I was researching thyroids because I think *I* am having a thyroid issue. So then I thought I was just being dumb because I had just read all this stuff about thyroids. Well, you know how it goes? Hypochondriac much?

Anyhow, I can't remember if I ever posted new summer haircuts but just in case I haven't here's Poufy's new do.