Ok, so I've been thinking about the stealing thing and trying to figure it out and I am confused.
The kids aren't to be in our room at all, they stole from our room... Girl Scout Cookies amongst many other things that we keep in our room because we are keeping it from them because of previous experiences. I've also figured out that all FIVE of them are stealing.
How do I let them steal. I mean... that was expensive. Chores don't bother them, loss of privileges don't bother them. I can't waste money like that. We had already bought a CASE of cookies for home, so it wasn't like they didn't have any.
I have things that they just can't steal and unlike when I ask them to lie and they can't, they have no problems with stealing.
How does allowing them to steal work when there are things that can't be stolen? When you let your kids steal do they act like it's a prize and take ridiculous things... I'm talking like jewelry, radios, tv, the wii? Please tell me your kids are like this? lol
CLARIFICATION: I guess (because who really knows?) that when I tell them they can steal stuff they think I am giving them things, as in just take what you want. Does that make sense? I should also probably mention that they are 7,8,9, and 10 years old. I think the 13 yo probably wouldn't steal if I gave her permission and told her it was stealing. I also know for a fact that my kids know what stealing is and means. The only one who may have some confusion is the 7 year old. That's why I say that I guess above because I have no clue and when I ask them some of them really have no clue while others don't say or I can tell that they just take it because they want it and don't care about consequences.
I have called the police before when the now 10 year old stole money off her teacher's desk. The Sheriff came out and it seemed to work, he made them all junior deputies and he would drop in every now and then and ask SS how she was doing but he hasn't been around in awhile. I don't really think he should be expected to keep coming out here either.
Hope that clears up some stuff.
1 comment:
Hi Sasha,
You raise good points. Since I volunteered some comments earlier, I thought I would try to flush this out a little. I think that dealing with the violation of your space and entering your room has to have significant consequences. Read them riot act, consequence them in ways that matter, etc. In our house I had to ban everyone from that side of the house for a time but my room was not on the beaten path so that was easier. They also had to write apologies, pay me back for the violation, etc. It has only happened ONCE in 4 years.
When we were having the problem with stealing I was dealing with each of them one at a time not as a group(I had 2 "thiefs.") It may be worth your while to let everyone know you are going to deal with this in your own way and they will need to wait to hear how. Tackle each kid individually. I read the riot act about stealing, etc. then I declared that people who stole would tend to get things stolen from them. I was "mean" in that I stole the few items I knew had value (bed toy, favorite blanket, favorite bedtime story, CD player.) Then with one kid I told her she needed to work hard to become the best thief she could and I wanted to help her become a really good thief. She was 6-7. and I set up times for stealing and left out some key items that they might go for. Like I said in my earlier comment, the rule was that if she got caught she lost 5 items of my choosing. It took 3 times of letting her steal and catching her for her to get the message at home. As soon as I even suspected she stole something, I would steal from her. When my son did it he was 9 we did pretty much the same thing but he hates losing so it only took 2 times for it to be curbed. When there was slippage (at home or elsewhere) restitution was paid back double (cash, time, etc.) If they wouldn't do the chore they earned extra time in bed usually while the rest of the kids were doing something fun. I don't know if you can try a divide and conquer strategy. I am happy to try brainstorming this with you if you like. Stealing was a BIG problem for my daughter and it drove me nuts. Leave me a message if you want to email more about this.
Dia (Rancho Chico)
Post a Comment