Sneaking in a post...

Ok, so I've been thinking about the stealing thing and trying to figure it out and I am confused. 

The kids aren't to be in our room at all, they stole from our room... Girl Scout Cookies amongst many other things that we keep in our room because we are keeping it from them because of previous experiences.  I've also figured out that all FIVE of them are stealing.  

How do I let them steal. I mean... that was expensive.  Chores don't bother them, loss of privileges don't bother them. I can't waste money like that. We had already bought a CASE of cookies for home, so it wasn't like they didn't have any. 

I have things that they just can't steal and unlike when I ask them to lie and they can't, they have no problems with stealing. 

How does allowing them to steal work when there are things that can't be stolen? When you let your kids steal do they act like it's a prize and take ridiculous things... I'm talking like jewelry, radios, tv, the wii?   Please tell me your kids are like this? lol 

CLARIFICATION: I guess (because who really knows?) that when I tell them they can steal stuff they think I am giving them things, as in just take what you want.  Does that make sense?  I should also probably mention that they are 7,8,9, and 10 years old. I think the 13 yo probably wouldn't steal if I gave her permission and told her it was stealing.  I also know for a fact that my kids know what stealing is and means.  The only one who may have some confusion is the 7 year old. That's why I say that I guess above because I have no clue and when I ask them some of them really have no clue while others don't say or I can tell that they just take it because they want it and don't care about consequences. 

I have called the police before when the now 10 year old stole money off her teacher's desk. The Sheriff came out and it seemed to work, he made them all junior deputies and he would drop in every now and then and ask SS how she was doing but he hasn't been around in awhile.  I don't really think he should be expected to keep coming out here either. 

Hope that clears up some stuff. 

Stealing

Yesterday Hubbins did a wonderful thing. We made dinner together early and then he sent me on my way to the movies so I could have a night out. 

Unfortunately, the two kids who had been doing well...well they robbed Hubbins and I blind. Hubbins spent the entire day with those two and he thought they had gone to their room to read. But apparently, they only allowed the alarm to sound to their room and then they went into our room and stole everything that wasn't nailed down basically. 

When I realized what they had done. I was livid. Under no circumstances whatsoever are any of them ever allowed in our bedroom and it was such a violation. I am at a loss, two weeks ago I found out that the other three were stealing as well. I can't lockdown everything in my house and I can't keep watch on all of them at the same time. 

This means that nothing gets done. We are at a standstill. I can only homeschool one kid at a time and with the other two girls *still* acting out... well, looks like everyone is staying in the same grade this year. 

We can't trust the kids to do chores to "repay" us because there are so many of them and it's hard to be following them. It becomes more of a pain then anything and I can't guarantee a return for that amount of time lost, does that make sense? 

Plus, how long do these kids go without anything? Every time they earn the privilege to have something back, they act out.  I have this set up I want to put out for them but with the standstill and all, I just don't know. 

I was thinking of moving onto domestics in homeschool but I guess we are going to have to go back and revisit trustworthiness, responsibility and honesty.  I've tested them and with the exception of the boy, the girls more than know the difference between right and wrong and there is absolutely no excuse for the oldest to be stealing. 

I'm trying to be understanding and to acknowledge that these behaviors are just that. But as most of you know, it's not an easy feat. 

I've been angry lately. Not at the kids but at people because they trigger these things with their big mouths.  CDQ is major BPD and along with that comes the distortion of her self-image. She is a leap year baby and she's clung to that as being what makes her "special".  A lady we know made the mistake 6 weeks ago of telling all the girls in girl scouts that CDQ was special because of her b-day and she totally regressed to the day she got here and has been there ever since. I'm not saying her behavior was stellar before but it wasn't starting all over again. 

I don't know if you remember my post about Poufy's eyes being normal? But shortly after that, I took her in for another blood draw for her thyroid. The lady drawing the blood told her she had beautiful green eyes.  One, Poufy's eyes are not green they are hazel. But again, her grandma (also the person who told CDQ she was "special" because of her birthday)  used to call her the green eyed monster.  The lady didn't stop there, she asked Poufy where she got her green eyes from.  I saw total fear and paralysis as Poufy looked to me with disdain.  I think it was the first time ever words have been exchanged between us through our eyes.  I ignored the woman and Poufy literally started rocking herself.  But the woman wouldn't let it drop. Finally I told her, but I didn't say what I wanted to say "She has her abusive murdering father's eyes." Instead I said it with out the murdering part because I don't want Poufy to think that (but I think she does) when people remark on her eyes .  But I so wanted to shame that woman.  Why of all things? 

I know they were innocent people with innocent remarks but still...why those things? Poufy's had it rocky since then and her pupils are back to being huge.    

I just can't seem to protect them and the urge is so strong but yet I still feel the need to protect Hubbins and myself from them. It's so complicated and it's a losing fight because I think it's something that can never really be done.