sick but alive. Grumpy....boy am I grumpy, even I don't want to be around me. lol
I have started many posts and have yet to finish one. Birthdays, CAKES, cookies sales, a bitch who can kiss it, and a new appliance which is still in the box because we are dumb. Lots to share. In fact, that has been my theme lately. Start something and run to something else right in the middle never getting anything done really.
Fun, fun, fun~!
I know I keep saying I have stuff to tell you, and I do and will...this year too! Promise. At least I have been able to drop in on blogs here and there.
But I'm going to put something out there right now because I am having a really hard time with it and my good friend has probably given up on me. lol
So here's the deal... a friend of mine asked me if she could nominate our family for Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I agreed. I was and am excited. However, in the course of making the video tape...over and over and over again (to the point where I sometimes think I've said something and realize that was like 3 times ago. lol). I've come to realize, like in blogging...I'm not sure how much to put out there. I mean, we need a new house, there's no doubt. With Hubbins alone there are a ton of modifications to be done. But with the kids... how much is too much? When I go in to watch the video, I start to think "Hmmm, maybe...maybe that's not a good idea to say that..."
Also, what can I say? Bela's bio father killed her and he walks free, free until they can prove without a doubt that he's done it. So if I say that he killed her and he hasn't been formally charged...am I opening myself up for the asshole to come after me for defamation? Because he's a POS like that. He's still using her death to bed women on My*space. For real. If we are chosen and they show me saying that and then later on they find something concrete on him, will it be thrown out because someone could have seen the show and just assume he is guilty?
Plus, he doesn't know where we are at. Their mother knows what state we are in and possibly the city but not our address. We want to keep it that way. We don't even have numbers on our house.
I sit there and watch myself describing behaviors and why we need certain modifications because of RAD, or whatever and I start to get apprehensive. I still have hope that the kids will be able to go back to public school and make friends and lead a somewhat normal life. Will I be labeling them forever by doing this?
I'm worried I'm not thinking the whole thing through and I will make a huge mistake in something that I say and it will be broadcasted on tv and follow the kids for ever and ever.... I know dramatic. But I saw the backlash on that 20.20 special. How can I get help without harming the kids?
All you RAD parents...what would you do? What things are too private to share? What things can come back and bite them?
As for my dear friend, if you are reading here. Please understand I have recorded this video over and over and over again and I feel so guilty for taking so long. I appreciate what you are doing for us. I can't explain what a hard place it is to be in. I'm so afraid of making a mistake that will make things worse for the kids.
Oh and on a side note, My mother called me a few days ago. I answer because I always think she is going to tell me someone is dead...instead the conversation went like this.
Her: You'll never believe what came in the mail today, it blew me away.
Me: Child support from my biological father.
Her: (deflated) yeah.
How the hell I knew, I don't know. I don't even know why I said that. But yeah. He's never paid a penny for me but now that I am 33 my mom gets child support. Go figure!
I asked her how much I was worth...$1900 people. That's it. She claims she is going to send me some but I told her not to. I don't want his money. I've come this far on my own and I think I've done a damn good job. No way will a couple of dollars from him give him right to claim me.
And if he's upset about"losing" this money, even better. I hope he busts a nut over it. I hope it makes it hard for him because it's about damn time he feel pain over this. It doesn't even come close to what I have endured, but I do understand how much better off and lucky I am despite everything for him not being in my life.
6 comments:
I have never seen the show, but I would talk mostly about Hubbins (still a great name) and just say something about adopting ALL the kids . . . they have needs. . . we need more room . . . I cannot work, primary caretaker . . . blah blah blah. I would make it pretty non-committal if I were in your shoes.
My 2 cents
I agree with Sheri. If you did mention RAD it would probably be forgotten quickly though. Part of me wishes that you could talk about RAD because it's so unknown even in the professional community. Yet, you do have to do what you are comfortable with.
Hugs!
I would focus on Hubby.
In reference to the kids, how about "emotional challenges due to early childhood trauma resulting in adoption".....or something of that sort???
I LOVE home makeover!!! I would vote for you for sure!
I know that I do not know you but I came across your post anyway. I felt compelled to tell you from experience that the Extreme show will draw everything out. They do extensive background checks on everyone that has had anything to do with your family. Nothing is hidden. This does not mean everything will come out on tv but I don't think you have much control over what makes a good show. Sometimes you need to beleive that God wants to share some very private stuff with others because someone really needs to hear about it for their own situation. I hope that this was helpful and I am sorry that I have toi be so private but stuff... you know!?
I hadn't thought about how much you'd have to reveal to be on the show. I had considered that you might be too private for the show, but I hadn't thought about how much *they* would have access to.
But I think you should do it. You deserve it.
Oooh what a good opportunity, yet, you are right to be careful what you say. Maybe if you didnt mention the suspect and the suspected crime, but just allude that there was tragedy and maybe just mention "special needs" will be enough? I dont know.
I do agree with what annonymous said. They are going to do whatever gives them the best ratings and if they find something out, they will use it to benefit the show and not necessarily to benefit your family. So, I would be prepared for that. Although a new house would definitely be a benefit!!
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