Four

Today you would have been four years old. You were just over a year when you were murdered and there is still no justice for you (or your siblings for that matter).

We are all stuck in a time warp and can't seem to get past your death, while the guilty forgot you before you were even cold.

We are all changed...bitter, angry, sad, even broken and all for selfish reasons. We know you are better off but it's just too hard, even almost 3 years later. Much harder because we feel like we have been sentenced for your death. Yet, I don't even know that justice could fix this.

Don't get me wrong. It's your birthday and we will celebrate but I just feel the need to explain why it's not working. Why we aren't moving forward, why we just can't seem to............

You didn't die for nothing, this will be better and it will work some how. I hope you aren't looking down here and feeling sad and crying. Some how we will get back to good. I won't let them fail. I will try my hardest to patch what I can the best I can.

You are still loved and missed so much. The pain is there e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y. There is nothing but time that can heal this.

It'll be ok, my lil squishy, it will be ok. I won't let you down.

Happy Fourth Birthday~!