So I've posted about the good and the bad and now I am going to show you what we did anyway.
About an hour and a half (wasted) into the meltdown, I realized that she was manipulating me. I was trying to get everyone safe and occupied and make sure we weren't egging her on with attention. I realized, why should I cancel our plans because of her?
We were supposed to make sugar cookies while snacking on rice krispy treats and hot chocolate. The others were looking forward to it and here I was about to end it all because of CDQ.
I have to get over it. I had mentioned that we would be doing things without people who didn't feel up to participating but in my "good post" pictures, you can see I still waited until it was a good moment for all of them to decorate. I need to realize that LIFE GOES ON...lol I need to stop modifying things because I am messing with the structure and their expectations.
So, I quickly got the chocolate going in the cocomotion machine, which by the way if you don't have one,they are awesome. I looked at them when they were $20 and thought really, who needs this? But I bought one on clearance for $5 (I guess I wasn't the only one who thought that) and I quickly realized this machine is great. It mixes up the chocolate really well and it gives a foam on top that hubs and the kids love. Anyway... I mixed up the dough and got out the cookie cutters and called them out.
I was so happy we did. It was real family time. Their excitement... it has been awhile and I was so glad I did this. They behaved like the children who were first placed with me, not what this mess has become. Hubs and I helped them with their cookies and made some of our own. I hadn't seen genuine smiles like that in a long time. I had forgotten what they looked like. They were so polite and sharing. The team work! I wish times like these could last. Then I wondered...if I took out the kid with the trouble at whatever moment that happened, could we still have happy times like these without that child? What would it mean for that child? Should I worry so much about that ONE child? What does it do for their attachment issues if they are left out? Lots to think about.
Is it so simple? I even got a couple of Good Night Moms from them. *sigh*
3 comments:
Hey Sasha!
Here are some alarms that you can put on the outside of the door (at the top) and cut them on and off easily. They stick on with double sided tape (included in package).
http://www.mypreciouskid.com/wireless-door-alarm.html
or
http://www.thpsales.com/store/viewItem.asp?idProduct=1028
Glad you had some good times. Since J is an only child I have to make it more fun on the outside of the door while she's throwing a fit. I put on fun music, sing and dance, etc. Bake cookies and tell Puddin all about it. Usually it'll make the fits shorter. Since you've got other kids use it to your advantage. Do fun stuff to encourage the fit thrower to come see what all the fun is about.
That is so wonderful that you were able to all have such a good time together. Woo hoo!
We have to take Tara out of stuff all the time. I felt awful at first, then I got over it because her stints at misbehavin' got shorter and shorter. Like Lisa, before we got the other kids, I would just crank up the tunes and sing along. Sometimes I would make myself popcorn to enjoy the show. It sounds horribly twisted, but really life would go down the tubes if you didn't make the best out of a crappy situation.
Looks like a wonderful time!
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