SUCKER!

If I could take a picture of myself. You would see me here, mouth hanging slightly open, face contorted with one eyebrow cocked to my hairline (I'm sure) and a vacant deer caught in the headlights stare.

I hear kids talking and I know the wind is blowing outside but what in the world did I just do today?

My girls showed up to sell Girl Scout Cookies and the next thing I know our wonderful Girl Scout leader is leaving this Sunday forever and ever. I wasn't shocked about the why, but the look on my girl's faces. Especially the oldest... I couldn't bear it. I cried as I climbed silently back in the van by myself.

Their leader is the best leader and an awesome role model. She is doing the absolute right thing for her circumstances and I am so proud of her. But my kids, they are kids and they don't really understand. To them, it's just another adult that they loved and trusted who is abandoning them. I tried to explain to them how strong and courageous this woman is for doing what she is doing and how it is the right thing and best thing for her. Be happy for her. But I know, right now, they can't understand. It's all adult stuff.

The troop basically was going to dissolve without a leader. No more Girl Scouts. The only positive thing my girls had going for them in terms of female role models out in the world. I kept seeing my oldest girl's face and I couldn't even explain it to Hubs without crying.

When I picked up my girls from the sales. I found myself volunteering to be the next leader. Someone had to keep these girls together and busy and well...positive.

Since then all of my "gusto" has turned into more of an "oh $%^&!". Because yes, I was thinking of my girls and those other girls but I didn't really realize that those other girls were a troop of Daisies AND Brownies AND some Juniors. 42 girls to be exact.

I can do this... I think. Right?