That is the number of years the judge gave the kids for their restraining order to remain in effect!
Can you believe it?
I was floored!
A weight has been lifted!
I couldn't wait to come home and tell the kids. I wanted to do it in person. They were so happy. It's the first justice they've been given since all this has started.
I read them the restraining order and explained what each part meant. I saw a genuine smile from CDQ. After all I had explained to them in their terms, the boy still had to verify that she indeed could NOT come in contact with them in any form (the judge crossed out the except portion and wrote in NO EXCEPTIONS!).
Afterwards, SS came into my room and clung to me. Her hands were soooo cold. She must've been so scared. They knew when I left where I was going.
I knew what this restraining order would mean for me and my ability to protect them. But I didn't know it meant so much to them as well.
So today, we have a restraining order party. Pizza and cupcakes and maybe a little swimming in the pool.
*deep breath*
I can breathe again and in some ways, I suspect they can too.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Quick Post- Pressure Sores
I noticed someone came to my site looking for the answer for :
"Can Pressure Sores Kill?"
YES! They are very dangerous because they get infected so easily and they often occur in places that are hard to keep clean or to keep pressure off of. They also usually occur in the elderly or those with compromised health and mobility like Hubbins (Hubbins has Quadriplegia). The tunneling pressure sores are really bad because they can go to the bone and cause a bone infection (osteomyelitis). But as in all infections they can go septic (into the blood stream) and kill.
I'm not a doctor or a nurse, just a caregiver for my Hubbins. There are probably other ways that pressure sores can kill but these are two that I am very aware of.
Please make sure you get a home health nurse or someone to keep an eye on your sores. It's very very very important.
Oh yeah, did I mention how important it is to have treatment for pressure sores? ;-)
Hope this helps. I know how hard it is to find information about these things.
"Can Pressure Sores Kill?"
YES! They are very dangerous because they get infected so easily and they often occur in places that are hard to keep clean or to keep pressure off of. They also usually occur in the elderly or those with compromised health and mobility like Hubbins (Hubbins has Quadriplegia). The tunneling pressure sores are really bad because they can go to the bone and cause a bone infection (osteomyelitis). But as in all infections they can go septic (into the blood stream) and kill.
I'm not a doctor or a nurse, just a caregiver for my Hubbins. There are probably other ways that pressure sores can kill but these are two that I am very aware of.
Please make sure you get a home health nurse or someone to keep an eye on your sores. It's very very very important.
Oh yeah, did I mention how important it is to have treatment for pressure sores? ;-)
Hope this helps. I know how hard it is to find information about these things.
Heartbreak
At least that's how it mostly feels.
The kids seem to be going through a second honeymoon phase now that my mom is here. I kind of thought it was going to go that way. Honeymoon is ending, but nothing I can't handle.
Right now it is my grandmother (g) that is weighing heavy on my heart. She's doing excellent or she was until yesterday.
My heart is heavy because just yesterday she wanted me to change her address, just yesterday she wanted to get to work on getting her a better insurance plan. She told me she was happy here and very comfortable. If I had written a post yesterday it would have been all about how my home is a safe haven for people, but I didn't get a chance to write.
I'm not sure what changed. She spoke to one of my aunts. My aunt filled her in on the drama that is going on back at g's house. My mom and I are being accused of stealing from g. It's the farthest thing from the truth. But the drama is getting heavy out there and it's all by the very people who were stealing from her. Her husband and one of her sons and his wife have threatened through the grapevine that they are going to show up here and take her back.
They don't have my address. But they will in a few days because of an address change I did for her yesterday. They are going to send a confirmation to her house. Those people have been opening her mail and reading her statements, etc...
It was so sad, last night she thought she saw a man in my house and then she thought she saw one outside the window. She was scared and stressed. She started regressing. She said she knows she shuts down when she gets nervous. She didn't sleep well. All because of them.
What pisses me off the most is that these so called concerned people have not asked once about her health. It's been all about g's money. I wish there was some way I could stop them. G thinks she is strong enough to face them but I'm afraid she isn't. She never has been and that's why they do the things they do.
I thought everything was fine. We went and picked up some of my mom's stuff from storage since she's moving her things in a little at a time and when we got home G told my mom that they were going to the stores tomorrow and then the next day my mom was taking her home.
I was so confused. I asked her why she was leaving and she said she had to get her things back there. I wasn't sure what she meant. I asked her about the address change and stuff she wanted me to do just the night before. I told her it was going to take a bit to get all that switched because I just started.
I guess she hadn't thought about that. But we had just talked about getting her medicare straightened and a new prescription plan and finding a doctor to recommend her for the diabetes shoe program I found out about.
She said she still wants to do those things and then she will go get her stuff.
I clarified on her stuff because she kept saying get them. So I asked what her plan was. She said she has to move here. I asked her why she said "have" and she smiled at me. I told her that I didn't want her to feel like she "had" to move here. She repeated that she wanted to get her stuff and that she's happy here.
So, I told her if she wanted to move here, I could take the stuff I just started moving into the old homeschool room that I was making into a sewing room out of there and she could have that room. I told her to just let me know.
Then she made me so sad. She told me this is the best time she had in her life and that we had a lot of fun and that she was really happy here. She was talking past tense. I don't know what that means. Then she told me that I haven't seen the last of her and that I am not going to get rid of her so easily. She was laughing and smiling the whole time.
I'm .so. confused.
I am also so scared for her to go back. I'm scared she'll back down. I'm scared they will take over and shut her down again. I'm scared for my mom to go and help her get her stuff back.
I wish I knew what to do or how I could help her. If she really just wants her stuff and just wants to move here, I have let her know she always has a place here. But the way she came here, the condition she was in. I can't in good conscience let her go back to that without reporting it.
Her bank statements that have come show that my grandfather was using her card all the time as if it were his, the lady at the bank that I talked to today was witness to him forcing her to add him to her account.
He was buying her Wendy's all the time. She's diabetic with high cholesterol. Some days he even went twice to Wendy's. He would buy her large cokes from McDonald's too and store them in the fridge for her. Sundaes from McDonald's too. With her health history how can that NOT be trying to kill her off?
The day they drove up here her blood sugar was 220. She was almost 200 lbs.
This is her now: It's hard to see what the meter says but it actually says 95. I think if you click the picture it will enlarge. You see how happy she is? She's also down 10 lbs. She's only been here a month and 2 days.
This was her the night she came. She's wearing one of Hubbin's t-shirts because the shirt she had was brand new when we visited my Aunt back when I was NINE or so. The other shirt was full of holes and was held together by safety pins. Her lady bits were visible through it.
I feel so helpless. I don't know how to keep her safe.
The kids seem to be going through a second honeymoon phase now that my mom is here. I kind of thought it was going to go that way. Honeymoon is ending, but nothing I can't handle.
Right now it is my grandmother (g) that is weighing heavy on my heart. She's doing excellent or she was until yesterday.
My heart is heavy because just yesterday she wanted me to change her address, just yesterday she wanted to get to work on getting her a better insurance plan. She told me she was happy here and very comfortable. If I had written a post yesterday it would have been all about how my home is a safe haven for people, but I didn't get a chance to write.
I'm not sure what changed. She spoke to one of my aunts. My aunt filled her in on the drama that is going on back at g's house. My mom and I are being accused of stealing from g. It's the farthest thing from the truth. But the drama is getting heavy out there and it's all by the very people who were stealing from her. Her husband and one of her sons and his wife have threatened through the grapevine that they are going to show up here and take her back.
They don't have my address. But they will in a few days because of an address change I did for her yesterday. They are going to send a confirmation to her house. Those people have been opening her mail and reading her statements, etc...
It was so sad, last night she thought she saw a man in my house and then she thought she saw one outside the window. She was scared and stressed. She started regressing. She said she knows she shuts down when she gets nervous. She didn't sleep well. All because of them.
What pisses me off the most is that these so called concerned people have not asked once about her health. It's been all about g's money. I wish there was some way I could stop them. G thinks she is strong enough to face them but I'm afraid she isn't. She never has been and that's why they do the things they do.
I thought everything was fine. We went and picked up some of my mom's stuff from storage since she's moving her things in a little at a time and when we got home G told my mom that they were going to the stores tomorrow and then the next day my mom was taking her home.
I was so confused. I asked her why she was leaving and she said she had to get her things back there. I wasn't sure what she meant. I asked her about the address change and stuff she wanted me to do just the night before. I told her it was going to take a bit to get all that switched because I just started.
I guess she hadn't thought about that. But we had just talked about getting her medicare straightened and a new prescription plan and finding a doctor to recommend her for the diabetes shoe program I found out about.
She said she still wants to do those things and then she will go get her stuff.
I clarified on her stuff because she kept saying get them. So I asked what her plan was. She said she has to move here. I asked her why she said "have" and she smiled at me. I told her that I didn't want her to feel like she "had" to move here. She repeated that she wanted to get her stuff and that she's happy here.
So, I told her if she wanted to move here, I could take the stuff I just started moving into the old homeschool room that I was making into a sewing room out of there and she could have that room. I told her to just let me know.
Then she made me so sad. She told me this is the best time she had in her life and that we had a lot of fun and that she was really happy here. She was talking past tense. I don't know what that means. Then she told me that I haven't seen the last of her and that I am not going to get rid of her so easily. She was laughing and smiling the whole time.
I'm .so. confused.
I am also so scared for her to go back. I'm scared she'll back down. I'm scared they will take over and shut her down again. I'm scared for my mom to go and help her get her stuff back.
I wish I knew what to do or how I could help her. If she really just wants her stuff and just wants to move here, I have let her know she always has a place here. But the way she came here, the condition she was in. I can't in good conscience let her go back to that without reporting it.
Her bank statements that have come show that my grandfather was using her card all the time as if it were his, the lady at the bank that I talked to today was witness to him forcing her to add him to her account.
He was buying her Wendy's all the time. She's diabetic with high cholesterol. Some days he even went twice to Wendy's. He would buy her large cokes from McDonald's too and store them in the fridge for her. Sundaes from McDonald's too. With her health history how can that NOT be trying to kill her off?
The day they drove up here her blood sugar was 220. She was almost 200 lbs.
This is her now: It's hard to see what the meter says but it actually says 95. I think if you click the picture it will enlarge. You see how happy she is? She's also down 10 lbs. She's only been here a month and 2 days.
This was her the night she came. She's wearing one of Hubbin's t-shirts because the shirt she had was brand new when we visited my Aunt back when I was NINE or so. The other shirt was full of holes and was held together by safety pins. Her lady bits were visible through it.
Friday, July 9, 2010
The one about ED*
So, I hate to say that ED has been on my mind lately and not in a good way. I never really cared for her much to begin with, even as kids there was never a connection. She only wanted those she could control and manipulate around her. She's always played the martyr.
In the beginning, I never said anything about her. The kids would go on about her in a negative way (at that time they didn't talk about the abuse from her) and I would tell them "she wasn't always like that" and I would try to think of funny stories and things she did as a child to share with them. I felt it was important to share a little bit about my other sisters too. Funny things. I didn't want them to know the kind of family they come from. In the beginning...
But then the truth about ED started coming out and to me it was devastating. I knew she wasn't a great person but I didn't think she would carry that over to the way she treated her kids. I'd rant and rave to Hubbins at night because I was in such disbelief. "How can a mother do these things? A MOTHER?"
My own mother wasn't and isn't the nurturing type. She's hung me out to dry so many times but never what my sister has done to her children. My sister can't fall back and blame things on my mother either because the way I was raised and the way they were, well... two separate animals. Even now their relationships are so different then mine with my mother.
I stopped trying to tell them ED wasn't so bad. I've been angry with myself for trying to mediate instead of just listening. I've learned that I need to stop trying to fix things all the time. Plus, back then I was under the impression there was a plan for reconciliation. I still didn't know that was never the plan.
CDQs therapist says I should express my anger over her and what she did to them in front of the kids when they are talking about it. She says that the kids should know that what they feel is a common feeling for what they have experienced and even though I didn't cause their pain, I should apologize to them for whatever happened and tell them it wasn't there fault. I was already doing the latter. I never meant to invalidate their feelings. I just knew if, when they were older, they wanted to see their mother they would have her number in no time. That's how it went down for me, even though so many times people said awful things about my mom, in the end I knew what was what and nothing they had said made any bit of difference in the way I saw my mom. Just in the way I saw those who were doing the bad talking from then on out.
My dislike of ED has grown soooooooo strong, like a million times over, since she showed up here demanding my children go outside and tell her to her face they didn't want to see her. I can't stand the thought that she breathes. I had started to say things in agreement with the kids but now, I just need to keep my mouth shut. Some of my thoughts have come out, and it's not like it will poison the kids of their mother, but it gets ugly and I know that's not good either.
I hate this situation. It's all on my mind because of the impending court date next week. When I see her, I think of my kids and how they were just helpless innocent babies and the things she did to them, the things she allowed others to do to them. I can't stand it and now I keep thinking I have to stand in the same room with her if she shows up?
So. Hard.
I know I shouldn't let her control my thoughts and feelings so much, but my kids have told me so many unforgivable things that she's done to destroy them. I've sat here with them in tears, I've taken the brunt of their anger and I still see little hopeless babies who can't understand "why?" and I don't have an answer for them because I have the same question...
"Why?"
===================================================
*Egg Donor
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Rheumatoid Arthritis Remission
These are the pills I take everyday, Starting from left to right: The big round one is a chewable vitamin C, the orange one is turmeric and bromelain - this is an anti-inflammatory. I actually found that the bromelain is necessary for me. Straight turmeric just doesn't cut it. The long oval white one is pantothenic acid- this is also an anti-inflammatory and it's used for morning stiffness and aches. Next to it is zinc and the last is vitamin D3. When I first started taking these I stopped the ibuprofen full on. I read that even though doctors know that NSAIDs not only kill pain but muscles, it is still the highest prescribed drug for these types of things.
So, I did some research and decided "what the hell!" I mean what could it hurt? I was desperate and I wasn't getting any better. My inflammation was so bad that I couldn't bend my fingers unless I used my other hand to do it. I noticed the effects immediately. But I still was in an incredible amount of pain. I was trying to go cold turkey on the Motrin. But I couldn't so I just took one 200 mg tablets 2 out of the 3 hellish days. I almost didn't think I was going to make it. I was also taking Cat's Claw for pain, but I can tell you that didn't help me much.
The immediate effects I noticed was a huge decrease in inflammation in my ankles first, then my wrists where I had huge knot like bumps. Then my left knee and lastly my right knee and fingers. The pantothenic acid was working in the mornings. Don't get me wrong, it still hurt but this was a different pain.
I had muscle pain: shoulders, knees, ankles, arms. Oh and in my fingers, especially my thumbs of all things. I would not take anything for it, because I realized muscle pain is something I could deal with compared to inflammation and I figured the stuff I read about NSAIDs must've been true.
Within the first week, I was up and around doing stuff. Of course, I over did it. But as long as I could keep the inflammation in check the pain was bearable. I was and still deal with the mind-numbing and mysterious (to me) fatigue. I almost want to call it a mental fatigue because everything feels fully drained out and empty, I even have trouble getting my body to breathe. I just feel so.tired.
I still have my days and mostly it's my own fault because I forget my pills. I have trouble swallowing pills and I was drowning myself to get them down only to throw them up. I started spacing them out. I take the turmeric and bromelain first because it's the one that I noticed I really need.
I still have mini-flares. I don't even know whether to consider it a flare up because it seems so minor in comparison to where I have been.
This is a side view where you can see my fingers are actually starting to go in different directions. I'm sure there is probably some kind of jargon for this crap. My hand is also strangely wider. I don't remember my pinky being so....so...separate.
This last picture is a view from above. This is how my fingers lie "flat" now. I wish I would've taken a picture when it was clawed. It was almost lopsided-spider-like and very scary.
Right now I am in "mild" pain. My feet have the same issue as my hand and both hands have slight swelling in one finger. But it is only painful to touch it and I can deal with that. Especially after all I accomplished yesterday.
I did a lot of sorting and wiping down stuff for homeschool. At one point I was kneeling over the tub to wash some oversized plastic book holders. I knew I was going to pay for it, but I wasn't expecting the extra "ass-like" lump that formed later last night on my thigh near my butt. The lump is still there but the pain is almost gone.
So, I'm not pain free or symptom free but I can deal with this. At first, I thought "HEY! I solved this!" and that the RA was gone but then it hit me like a ton of bricks that it will never be gone and this is what people call remission. That was hard to swallow. Really hard.
Just to get this out there. I am not being paid for any of this. I have never formally been diagnosed and I don't have medical insurance. I'm not the only one to have RA in my family and my symptoms are right on. I suppose I could have myself diagnosed but I am terrified of the whole pre-existing condition thing having seen how Hubbin's has been treated because of his quadriplegia and I don't want to be on injectables or any of those other drugs that seem to only make people feel worse instead of better. I've made up my mind about this thing. I have kids and Hubbins to take care of but some day I won't and if I am going to be all crooked and unable to do the things I want, I will just check out. I'm a wuss like that.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Less Than Human
I don't know if it's just me, or if it's the town I live in or hell, maybe even the color of my skin and the trail of kids behind me and all those stereotypes that go along with that... but just in case I didn't go into it before, the oldest has what is called a failed root canal.
Now I think all of us who adopt get some form of medical assistance until the child reaches 18. My kids get Medi-Cal if they were ever to live in California. In my state all kids under 18 are covered under Medicaid. So my state picks up the bill for my kids. However, I was pissed to find out that in the event of a failed root canal, no other dentist will touch the tooth because Medicaid won't pay.
So, here the oldest sits with an infection in this failed root canal because they left the tip in there and NO one but the jacked up place I refuse to take her back to will touch her. Except, I found one dentist who was willing to give her antibiotics. She was on them for 10 days and it seems to have done the trick for now.
Usually, it takes months to schedule my kids in. This place seemed to be ok. At least, I thought it was the place but, today came to realize it was the hygienist we had, not the place. Anyhow, I digress... the nice woman at the counter said she could get the oldest in for a cleaning the day after her antibiotics finished so that they could also check up on her tooth situation. I said "sure!"
Now, I can't remember if I blogged it or not, but I just dropped a chunk of change to get my own teeth cleaned and looked at because my wisdom teeth are impacted. I was not treated anywhere near like they were. Sure, I paid cash... but this place was fabulous. It was a pleasant experience. I chatted with the staff, they admired my wedding rings. It was like visiting old friends and I only had been there that day. The follow up appointment was just as great. Seriously, I've never been treated the way Hubbins and my kids have been treated. Ever.
Fast forward to today, we get a hygienist with a thick accent, the office is overflowing this time with tons of screaming kids. There are only partitions separating stations no closed rooms. I have hearing loss. When it's loud like that, I can't hear the person in front of me and I try to read lips, but this was difficult. I was about to tell the hygienist that when she totally blew me off. I just thought, "whatever."
She's working on the oldest and I'm thinking "Holy hell! They didn't practically rip my teeth out like that and I hadn't been in 5 years!" Mine was a deep cleaning the first time and the second appointment was a regular cleaning. I do have to struggle a bit with getting the oldest to take care of her teeth, but there's also the decade of abuse and neglect. She has the worse teeth because by the time I got her most of her permanent teeth were in and the damage was done. To me, the fact that she had no new cavities was a victory.
By this time, the loud kids in the next area had left and I heard the hygienist tell the oldest it was her fault the cleaning was so rough. This pissed me off.
When she was done the dentist came in and I asked about the failed root canal. I asked if it would be prone to infection because the tip was left in there. He asked me what I meant by "prone". Uh...yeah. You know, more likely to get infected than if the tip wasn't there? Is this something we should have fixed or was this a fluke? Then he asked me "fluke?" So instead, I asked about braces. She hadn't lost all her teeth. She had like two left and the other dentist suggested that she would need braces once she lost those teeth. I asked if all her permanent teeth were in, he said yes but told me she was fine. I said "really, because the other dentist said she would need braces once the other teeth fell out." He told me Medicaid wouldn't pay for it and that she looked fine.
Hmmmmm.... I don't recall asking who would pay for it. The other dentist had already told me about $4000 is what I should expect to pay at least. When I had spoke to him last about the failed root canal, my point was that the job was done shitty and it should be fixed and she should be able to go some place else and not back to the place that jacked her up. Medicaid should get their money back from the cracker jack I took her to before. (BTW, her godmother told me it was a great place and I took all my kids there once and never again. SS left with bruises on her face and she wasn't even resisting. They were trying to make prebuilt caps fit that just didn't.)
I had it. I had the dentist and the hygienist in there and I said "Look, I'm not happy right now because of something she said to my daughter and what I am hearing now. I have adopted my daughter. My daughter has been through a decade of child abuse and neglect. It is NOT her fault because her parents didn't do what they were supposed to and I'm tired of people like you making assumptions and saying things when you don't know."
I got an "Uh, ok." from the dentist. No apology to my daughter. Nothing. Then the dumb bitch had the audacity to ask me if I wanted to schedule her next appointment.
I said "No thank you." and we walked out. (yes, polite to the end, aren't you all proud. After all I am setting an example for my child.)
Seriously. I'm not on welfare but even if I was, how the hell are you going to treat the people that make you able to live your life, you know: buy food, clothes and shelter for yourself... how are you going to treat them like shit? I understand that there are some people who take advantage of the system (like the kid's egg donor) but then again that's why the kid's teeth are the way they are...because they DON'T take them to the dentist and don't use the insurance, they just collect the check. Duh.
In my mind, if you have a person in there with their kid, you are probably dealing with a person who is using the system the way it was intended to be used and with these economic times... it's probably not a rare thing. And most certainly in our state, where all kids are covered it shouldn't be rare.
Maybe I do have myself up on a pedestal and maybe I should be "grateful". But if we want to play a who's better than who by education and income/status... well... I think they'd be surprised. I don't want to play that game. All I am asking for is to be treated like a human being and the same for my kids. Common courtesy and respect. That's all I am asking.
Is it too much to ask for?
Now I think all of us who adopt get some form of medical assistance until the child reaches 18. My kids get Medi-Cal if they were ever to live in California. In my state all kids under 18 are covered under Medicaid. So my state picks up the bill for my kids. However, I was pissed to find out that in the event of a failed root canal, no other dentist will touch the tooth because Medicaid won't pay.
So, here the oldest sits with an infection in this failed root canal because they left the tip in there and NO one but the jacked up place I refuse to take her back to will touch her. Except, I found one dentist who was willing to give her antibiotics. She was on them for 10 days and it seems to have done the trick for now.
Usually, it takes months to schedule my kids in. This place seemed to be ok. At least, I thought it was the place but, today came to realize it was the hygienist we had, not the place. Anyhow, I digress... the nice woman at the counter said she could get the oldest in for a cleaning the day after her antibiotics finished so that they could also check up on her tooth situation. I said "sure!"
Now, I can't remember if I blogged it or not, but I just dropped a chunk of change to get my own teeth cleaned and looked at because my wisdom teeth are impacted. I was not treated anywhere near like they were. Sure, I paid cash... but this place was fabulous. It was a pleasant experience. I chatted with the staff, they admired my wedding rings. It was like visiting old friends and I only had been there that day. The follow up appointment was just as great. Seriously, I've never been treated the way Hubbins and my kids have been treated. Ever.
Fast forward to today, we get a hygienist with a thick accent, the office is overflowing this time with tons of screaming kids. There are only partitions separating stations no closed rooms. I have hearing loss. When it's loud like that, I can't hear the person in front of me and I try to read lips, but this was difficult. I was about to tell the hygienist that when she totally blew me off. I just thought, "whatever."
She's working on the oldest and I'm thinking "Holy hell! They didn't practically rip my teeth out like that and I hadn't been in 5 years!" Mine was a deep cleaning the first time and the second appointment was a regular cleaning. I do have to struggle a bit with getting the oldest to take care of her teeth, but there's also the decade of abuse and neglect. She has the worse teeth because by the time I got her most of her permanent teeth were in and the damage was done. To me, the fact that she had no new cavities was a victory.
By this time, the loud kids in the next area had left and I heard the hygienist tell the oldest it was her fault the cleaning was so rough. This pissed me off.
When she was done the dentist came in and I asked about the failed root canal. I asked if it would be prone to infection because the tip was left in there. He asked me what I meant by "prone". Uh...yeah. You know, more likely to get infected than if the tip wasn't there? Is this something we should have fixed or was this a fluke? Then he asked me "fluke?" So instead, I asked about braces. She hadn't lost all her teeth. She had like two left and the other dentist suggested that she would need braces once she lost those teeth. I asked if all her permanent teeth were in, he said yes but told me she was fine. I said "really, because the other dentist said she would need braces once the other teeth fell out." He told me Medicaid wouldn't pay for it and that she looked fine.
Hmmmmm.... I don't recall asking who would pay for it. The other dentist had already told me about $4000 is what I should expect to pay at least. When I had spoke to him last about the failed root canal, my point was that the job was done shitty and it should be fixed and she should be able to go some place else and not back to the place that jacked her up. Medicaid should get their money back from the cracker jack I took her to before. (BTW, her godmother told me it was a great place and I took all my kids there once and never again. SS left with bruises on her face and she wasn't even resisting. They were trying to make prebuilt caps fit that just didn't.)
I had it. I had the dentist and the hygienist in there and I said "Look, I'm not happy right now because of something she said to my daughter and what I am hearing now. I have adopted my daughter. My daughter has been through a decade of child abuse and neglect. It is NOT her fault because her parents didn't do what they were supposed to and I'm tired of people like you making assumptions and saying things when you don't know."
I got an "Uh, ok." from the dentist. No apology to my daughter. Nothing. Then the dumb bitch had the audacity to ask me if I wanted to schedule her next appointment.
I said "No thank you." and we walked out. (yes, polite to the end, aren't you all proud. After all I am setting an example for my child.)
Seriously. I'm not on welfare but even if I was, how the hell are you going to treat the people that make you able to live your life, you know: buy food, clothes and shelter for yourself... how are you going to treat them like shit? I understand that there are some people who take advantage of the system (like the kid's egg donor) but then again that's why the kid's teeth are the way they are...because they DON'T take them to the dentist and don't use the insurance, they just collect the check. Duh.
In my mind, if you have a person in there with their kid, you are probably dealing with a person who is using the system the way it was intended to be used and with these economic times... it's probably not a rare thing. And most certainly in our state, where all kids are covered it shouldn't be rare.
Maybe I do have myself up on a pedestal and maybe I should be "grateful". But if we want to play a who's better than who by education and income/status... well... I think they'd be surprised. I don't want to play that game. All I am asking for is to be treated like a human being and the same for my kids. Common courtesy and respect. That's all I am asking.
Is it too much to ask for?
I had a hard day...
Some days, I find it hard to believe this is my life. I guess it's not a bad life. I just hate that the kids donor (that's what I'm going to call that C U Next Tuesday from now on) has had so much control over my life. Even with her not physically here, she's ruined my life in terms of what I wanted out of my life. My wedding, My home, My car, My own bio kids. It builds up when I start to think of all my life I'm losing because she screwed up her life (queue tiny violins).
I know everybody works hard at life, but that's all I had done. Hubbins and I were barely starting to make a little savings and home for ourselves so we could do things when all this happened. I had been putting myself through school since I graduated HS and never took a break. We had both just graduated. I truly hadn't done anything with my life. I walked a straight line in accordance to the law of the land and God's laws. Life was just starting for us. It's so hard. Especially if you could understand the lengths I went to so that I wouldn't end up in the situation I am in. (Not the adopting part, but the million kids and financial issues, etc...) This was their family cycle, not mine.
It doesn't help when I get treated like I'm the piece of trash who made this mess. I've been trying to get a restraining order served in another state. I got a temporary one, but today I panicked when I found out AZ wants a $100 deposit and if it goes over they will bill me. I tried to get a waiver, because let's face it. This past couple of weeks my budget has been stretched and it will probably be tight next month do to the addition of two more people. I had to get my grandma setup here. That's not a complaint, it's just the way it is. I know with this restraining order, I only have so much time to get it delivered. It just so happens that it's also time to fill CDQs $200 prescription that her insurance won't cover and to get our registration on the car renewed, not to mention we got our home tax bill.
Az only serves restraining orders for those in a dating relationship for free. Everyone else must pay. They have a waiver for in state only. I called our clerk's office and the first time I got a really nice woman who was trying to understand why Arizona would do something like that. She thought it was odd. She suggested I call the local sheriff's office and see if it could be faxed and if not call back the clerk's office so that I could talk to someone regarding that in their department because like I said, she didn't think that seemed right.
So I called the sheriff's office and they couldn't help me. So I called back the county clerks office. I got someone else. I think I know who she is. I think she's the bitch that I had to deal with to file the thing to begin with. I call her a bitch because she was put out that she had to lift her ass from the seat and go ask a question, since I wasn't a battered woman case.
I told her I was speaking to someone else and she just left it in silence, so I started to tell her what I was trying to do, and that was simply to see if there was any kind of help available to me, should I not be able to either a) pay for the service or b) get it served on time. She cut me off and told me there was nothing they could do. When I told her the other woman said there was probably someone I could speak to about my unique situation, she told me it "wasn't their problem". I told her I was trying to protect my children from their abuser, I told her I had adopted 5 children and that kind of made it hard to do things sometimes. She told me that was my "personal problem". I hung up before I told her to go fuck herself and then I cried out of sheer hatred and anger. I know some people will think this is wrong but that bitch needs to be slapped around a couple of times. This is the job she chose, maybe she needs to understand some things and since it's obvious she's heartless with a huge and I mean HUGE stick up her ass, maybe she needs to feel what it's like.
I can't help but be pissed that I'd have to be screwing someone and get my ass beat to get my restraining order served for free. I mean really? I don't doubt that some people need help. But why do people who make bad choices get all the breaks? What about us, the ones who are trying to do the right thing? Why do we get screwed every time?
So, now, I will wait until my payday at the end of the week and hope that will be in time for whatever deadlines there are. I'm angry because this is for the safety of my children and it's like "oh, well. You shouldn't have adopted or got involved. We aren't."
Protect and serve my ass...
I know everybody works hard at life, but that's all I had done. Hubbins and I were barely starting to make a little savings and home for ourselves so we could do things when all this happened. I had been putting myself through school since I graduated HS and never took a break. We had both just graduated. I truly hadn't done anything with my life. I walked a straight line in accordance to the law of the land and God's laws. Life was just starting for us. It's so hard. Especially if you could understand the lengths I went to so that I wouldn't end up in the situation I am in. (Not the adopting part, but the million kids and financial issues, etc...) This was their family cycle, not mine.
It doesn't help when I get treated like I'm the piece of trash who made this mess. I've been trying to get a restraining order served in another state. I got a temporary one, but today I panicked when I found out AZ wants a $100 deposit and if it goes over they will bill me. I tried to get a waiver, because let's face it. This past couple of weeks my budget has been stretched and it will probably be tight next month do to the addition of two more people. I had to get my grandma setup here. That's not a complaint, it's just the way it is. I know with this restraining order, I only have so much time to get it delivered. It just so happens that it's also time to fill CDQs $200 prescription that her insurance won't cover and to get our registration on the car renewed, not to mention we got our home tax bill.
Az only serves restraining orders for those in a dating relationship for free. Everyone else must pay. They have a waiver for in state only. I called our clerk's office and the first time I got a really nice woman who was trying to understand why Arizona would do something like that. She thought it was odd. She suggested I call the local sheriff's office and see if it could be faxed and if not call back the clerk's office so that I could talk to someone regarding that in their department because like I said, she didn't think that seemed right.
So I called the sheriff's office and they couldn't help me. So I called back the county clerks office. I got someone else. I think I know who she is. I think she's the bitch that I had to deal with to file the thing to begin with. I call her a bitch because she was put out that she had to lift her ass from the seat and go ask a question, since I wasn't a battered woman case.
I told her I was speaking to someone else and she just left it in silence, so I started to tell her what I was trying to do, and that was simply to see if there was any kind of help available to me, should I not be able to either a) pay for the service or b) get it served on time. She cut me off and told me there was nothing they could do. When I told her the other woman said there was probably someone I could speak to about my unique situation, she told me it "wasn't their problem". I told her I was trying to protect my children from their abuser, I told her I had adopted 5 children and that kind of made it hard to do things sometimes. She told me that was my "personal problem". I hung up before I told her to go fuck herself and then I cried out of sheer hatred and anger. I know some people will think this is wrong but that bitch needs to be slapped around a couple of times. This is the job she chose, maybe she needs to understand some things and since it's obvious she's heartless with a huge and I mean HUGE stick up her ass, maybe she needs to feel what it's like.
I can't help but be pissed that I'd have to be screwing someone and get my ass beat to get my restraining order served for free. I mean really? I don't doubt that some people need help. But why do people who make bad choices get all the breaks? What about us, the ones who are trying to do the right thing? Why do we get screwed every time?
So, now, I will wait until my payday at the end of the week and hope that will be in time for whatever deadlines there are. I'm angry because this is for the safety of my children and it's like "oh, well. You shouldn't have adopted or got involved. We aren't."
Protect and serve my ass...
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