ICU Trip Number 2, Part 2

We walked quickly through the halls to the OR. The people kept apologizing for the wait. I filled them in on what I could remember. At the previous hospital, I was in the room with the man who put the PICC line in and he told me step by step what he was doing and why. It was a weird experience and at the time I couldn't understand why he wanted me to stay.

They asked me to wait outside and the big heavy doors slammed in front of me and then there was just silence. I felt so much shame for my stupidity and selfishness. I prayed some more and then I heard the words the man told me about Hubbins previous PICC line. He said he was using an artery that most people don't use because it has a 90 degree angle. He said in Hubbins case, his artery was excellent for the PICC because unlike other people's his blood flow was strong and in the right direction. I sat there kicking myself for not remembering to tell them.

Shortly after, a lady came out and told me they were having some trouble and that's why it was taking so long. I relayed what the other guy had told me about Hubbins artery and she said she would go in and tell them. About 8 minutes later, I heard whoots and yells of "YES!" and "It's IN!". Then the same girl came out, told me it was in and disappeared down the hall, she came back with an x-ray machine and through the doors she went. Shortly after that they opened the doors and told me I could go in and be with Hubbins while they waited for the x-ray. The x-ray came back perfect and off we went again.

We went back to the ER where they drew blood and got IV fluids going in him. We were there for another hour or so when they moved him to a room in ICU. When they admit Hubbins, I have to leave the room and wait in the waiting area. When they came and got me they told me Hubbins had a seizure. He had never had seizures before. He was trying to talk to me and his speech was slow and slurred and he couldn't stay awake. They told me this was normal after a seizure. The doctor asked me some questions. He thought maybe the lack of baclofen had caused the seizure since it's known to do that if you just stop cold turkey. He hadn't had any since early morning and the other hospital had cut his dosage in half.

For the most part Hubbins was stabilized now and it was his sleep apnea that was worrying the nurses. He stops breathing and takes a long time to start again. Sometimes, the lack of his snoring wakes me up and I have to yell at him to breathe. The level of care at this hospital was so different. They had quickly put Hubbins on a med regime and allowed for breakthrough pain meds to be administered.

I can't believe I am forgetting something so major. In the ER before he was admitted, the doctor came in and sat down and talked with me for half an hour, in the ER! He asked so many questions, I was surprised I had the answers. He was so thorough about Hubbins history, I was impressed. It was with that information, he created a treatment plan for Hubbins.

Anyhow, this stay at ICU was so much smoother and Hubbins was moved down to Intermediate Care after two days without incident. They didn't give him any meds like ativan to put him out. He spent most of the time lucid and watching the Food Network. His only problems was bloating and gas pain. Oh, and that atrocious bed. I don't know how those beds are supposed to be helpful.

I sat on his air bed at the other hospital and I jumped up quickly because I felt like that bed had violated my bottom!

He had minor spasms which caused his blood pressure to fluctuate but nothing major. After, I believe, three days in intermediate care, they discharged him and we've been home since.

I kept calling home to check on everyone and CDQ was better by the second day Hubbins was in the hospital. Although, things weren't to go as smoothly, considering the following:

1.) The day before we came home, the propane had run out. We were going to order more that first Monday but Hubbins got sick the weekend before.

2.) I was still on pins and needles up until Friday because my Mom was going to lose her job if she didn't get back to work by Wednesday. Her job allows ten occurrences before they fire people and they would not excuse her for this medical emergency. Hubbins was discharged so late on Tuesday night that we missed all flights going out and I had to send her on a plane Wednesday morning. She didn't arrive in Az until after 10 am and she went to work in the same clothes she came here in by 11 am, straight from the airport. Thankfully, she didn't get fired. They wrote her up and if she has one more occurrence she will be let go. I gave her a little money that I had because I know she won't be getting paid for the time she was here and she's having hard times already. I feel so bad. I know it wasn't nearly enough.

(I'm leaving a reminder for myself here to post about my Mom and this whole experience from that perspective. )

3.) Thursday night, I found myself plunging away at the kids toilet. Something was going on, suddenly, I realized how bad septic tanks are when stuff was coming into my tubs and showers. EWWW.

4.) Friday- I had to call a plumber to snake the line and pump the septic. Apparently, it was a toilet paper free for all while we were gone and that's what clogged the kid's toilet, which then backed up the entire house. The septic was an ordeal because we had no idea where it was at. By chance, I happened to mention to the guy that there was this weird piece of wood that has been sticking out of the ground since we moved here. Turns out, it was a marker for the septic. At $45 an hour to dig, plus $80 if they needed to use some mouse contraption doohickey, I was definitely relieved he found it in less than 15 minutes and cut us a break.

I can feel the knot forming in my neck from typing about all this. I am still waiting for the calm after the storm. Hubbins is still having some spasms and dysreflexia. He stayed in bed today. I'm hoping he'll stay in bed tomorrow and try to rest.

I hadn't bought a tree or finished decorating before all this happened so I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to catch up. But one thing is for sure, ever since the last trip to ICU years ago, I've been living with PTSD and hypervigilance. I've been so worried about going back that I haven't been living. I no longer feel that anymore. We've gone back twice and both times were different. Hubbins seems more like himself these days then he has in a long time. That final hour in the ER, when I thought we would break... Hubbins told me he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't hold on anymore, the pain was too much. I stood up and I told him that if he had to go, I would understand and it was ok. It broke my heart to pieces but I couldn't stand to see him suffer anymore. I told him, I didn't want him to go, but I would understand and I leaned down and hugged him and that is when the doors flew open...