but the joke wasn't over...

Ok, so I've been a little MIA because and here goes the story...it might seem untrue but I can assure you... it's all true.

Let's see, let's start with my trip to the store...this was after Poufy's new announcement (see previous post). I get to the store, you know...the one with the greeters at the door. I go in and immediately set the alarms off. I'm all like, I just walked in people...

I tell them that it's probably my digital camera because at the point, I think I am still carrying it with me. So, I go on in and run around and get my stuff. Then I go to check out in the garden center. There is no one there and I'm thinking I am a genius. Until I realize the reason why there is no one there. The cashier is beyond slllllow. I'm taking hangers off clothes, ordering items for her. She was doing it on purpose. I am convinced. She would put two things in a bag, gather the bag, walk it around her station and put it in my cart. Repeat times a million. BTW, I bought less than 15 items.

Meanwhile, there is a man with a bike tire and a box of bottled water. He's waiting...10 minutes...15 minutes...at 20 minutes... he puts his stuff down on the counter. This because I decided to use the gift card I've been carrying since last year I think...of course it doesn't work and then she needs a manager.

The manager gets there, he calls for back up because there are now 3 people in line behind me. Back up comes and the bitches people behind the man rush around him and form a line. He looks over and shakes his head. I'm thinking, "uh, hello cashier, how about saying next in line or something?"

Finally, 36 minutes later, I am checked out. I apologize to the guy, I say loudly he should have been served next and I head towards the exit. Hallelujah!

But then I set off the alarm AND it's a different greeter AND I forgot I set it off when I came in. So we go through the stuff in the cart. Finally, I decided to lift my purse and wave it at the sensors. Yep! Bingo!

I explain to the lady that I have my digital camera. So I'm digging through my purse...Oh, wait. I don't have it. The cat did something cute and I took it out. Shoot. I tell her she is more than welcome to go through my purse and I apologize that it's a mess. She says it's fine, she doesn't want to go through my purse. So then I start to take things out one by one and it's my wallet. The one with all my debit cards and credit cards and all that good stuff. I hand it to her and she waves it in front of the sensor and sure enough. I'm telling her I bought that wallet there months ago and she says there is probably still a strip in there. I'm putting stuff back in my purse and the man who was in line behind me passes me and says "wow, I guess you are having a bad day". I'm thinking if only he knew. Meanwhile, before I realize it, the greeter says... I'll fix it for you. I'll just demagnetize it for you and I hear the bleep from the scanner doohickey. I just stare at her and she is so pleased with herself. "There, it's all fixed now" she says, totally pleased with herself.

I take my wallet from her in utter shock, but I can't really do anything about it because she is SOOOO fricken happy. She's solved a problem. I don't say anything to her about demagnetizing my life while she was at it. I just go out to the van, take out my cell and call my Hubbins... "Really, you won't believe what just happened to me..."

To be continued...