Strong Enough?

So, apparently the powers that be aren't done shitting on me.

I started to move along and get things back in order and I truly felt happy. It has been a loooong time but I recognized it as happy.

The other house company had decided that they would take our earnest money and pay for the majority of things except for the appraisal. Which I was so excited about it. Our realtor suggested we add the appraisal and see what they say, if not they were already covering everything else with our earnest money. Which can I just say, I totally had no problem with.

I had thought things were going better with the kiddos,except for Poufy of course. Things just seemed to be looking up or so I thought. We even went out to dinner on Friday as a family.

But then Thursday night Hubs got like the stomach flu or something, except we didn't know it. So the flu shot he got Friday probably didn't help how sick he got Friday night. Spewing everywhere...ewww.

He was sick all weekend. This means I have to be by his side constantly practically all night holding the bucket for him and cleaning him up, eww. (No he's not a momma's boy, he's a quad, in case you didn't know.)

Then on Saturday, when I went to take out something for dinner, I discovered my very expensive large upright freezer was no longer working. On further inspection, I realized that CDQ had severed the power cord. You may be asking how does an 8 year old girl sever a power cord? I asked the same question including a stream of expletives. Turns out, when you have an 8 year old begging to help you clean the laundry room and you think the safest thing she can do is sweep the floor....it's not...

I'm still unclear considering 1.) I was in the room and 2.) she only had a broom. But the fact remains that she was the only one near the freezer and all she was doing was sweeping. So now I have a heap of dead metal in my laundry room. You know what else, I think the freezer is only like 4 months old too and it was full. $%^#!

Rewind back to early Friday because I am getting ahead of myself. Friday morning I finally found the source of stench in CDQ's room. She had taken a crap and folded it neatly into Poufy's clean clothes. I should take this moment to tell you that the smell had been there for three days before I found where it was coming from and CDQ insisted she didn't do anything, even though she is now the only one staying in that room. Liar!

Speaking of Liars, I called the former adoption social worker who lied to me like crazy. Telling me that other kids lie and steal. That it's normal. She told me that *I* was taking on too much. I highlight the *I* because when I tried to talk about disruption she moved me into other areas. I want to know about disruption damn it! I asked about residential but apparently I am the problem.

Don't you know I shouldn't have a pee bucket in the rooms. Uh uh... I should pull up my berber carpet and paint the fucking floor until they get past it. Just let them piss on the floors.

Maybe I am not cut out to be a mom, or may be I just think that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. These are humans, not animals and yet we are all supposed to just put up with their shit and live in too?

I can't do that. Family or not. I refuse to. NOBODY should have to live like that.

And if my feelings above are supposed to match some table of love equivalents, then I guess I am a heartless bitch who can't love anyone or anything.

I'm tired of being steered away from my feelings. I wish I would have stood up for myself before the adoption and told them NO! MY FEELINGS ARE VALID TOO!

I need to find the strength to stand up for all of us who are living through Poufy and CDQ's destructiveness. We have the right to live too.



PS. We must've pissed off the other house people because now they aren't paying for anything and want all our earnest money.