My trip to the ER...

Like three Wednesday nights ago, I hurt myself by propping my feet up to watch tv. At least that's all that we can deduce. I have a pulled or torn muscle in my left leg. I don't remember hurting it at all. I just know when I went to put Hubbins in bed I was in pain.

By Thursday I could not move. Could not stand, sit, lay down, nothing. I would get a piercing jolt of pain through out my entire leg and lower back. I don't have insurance so I was trying to ride it out.

Hubbins gave me a vicodin to try and ease my pain because at that point I was crying in agony and exhaustion because I hadn't slept. I have never taken anything stronger than an 800 Ibuprofen that my mother had given me. (No, I don't make a habit out of taking other people's meds. It just so happened I got sick right after my benefits expired when I left my last job, of course. The whole time I worked and had insurance I was pretty healthy!)

Anyhow, I woke up x amount of hours later in my underwear. Apparently I put on quite a show. I fixed Hubbins old hospital bed so that the up and down works now. I was on the floor crying while I was fixing it. I kept touching Hubbins ear and telling him it was too big and shiny and I guess I lost my pants when I decided to rub Aspercreme on my knee and my @$$. I don't remember any of it. But Hubbins said I complained to him that my leg hurt. Go figure.

I will not take vicodin again. At least I remembered everything from the Ibuprofen. When I took that I came out of the bathroom and walked right smack into the wall. I remember laughing hysterically because I couldn't feel it. Then I plopped myself on the recliner in the living room and slept there sideways for two straight days. That was at my mother's house. I remember hearing people come and go. No one ever tried to wake me or even see if I was alive. lol

When I got my prescribed meds, I was finally able to sleep. I felt nothing, heard nothing, etc... It must've been bliss. I stopped taking the meds part way though for fear it might come back again and then I wouldn't have the meds I needed.

I hate this. I was shocked when they told me I owed $250 at the ER. I quickly paid it. I mean, c'mon- x-rays, meds, doctor... I was shocked it wasn't more. But then the other day I got a bill. It says that my total visit was $700. Yeah...$700. It also said at this point, I owe nothing. But there are pending charges...and a small box that says I might be billed in the future. Darn. There goes x-mas...

I was also so grateful that my meds were only $60. I know $60 for less than 30 pills all together sounds crazy but it was something I could pay. So I was thrilled.

It's so different now. Back in the day, I never paid to see a doctor or pick up scripts. I didn't really have any but still. They would do all kinds of things on me when they saw my plan. In one instance I went in for the doc to check a mole and left with microdermabrasion on my face and arms. I'm convinced another doctor took advantage of it because he had me coming back to follow up appointments for nothing other than to charge my insurance, he told me I had a brain tumor and the last straw was when he told me I was retarded because my face was round. I had to bring my mom in. I was so young and stupid and trusting of authority figures. Turns out I was anemic, I didn't find out for another 8 years. lol

Someway, I have to get insurance. I'm so afraid of being diagnosed with RA and then being denied coverage. I've seen what they've done to Hubbins. I feel like it's not fair. Kid or not, accident or not, whoever shot Hubbins should be responsible for his medical care if it's going to be like that. Like Hubbins could help his pre-existing condition and if I have RA, like I could've prevented that, ya know? Isn't the disease itself punishment enough?