Human Pincushion

The room is dark save for the gentle light cascading in the shape of a seashell against the ceiling.  The sound of running water and birds cawing are emitting from the speaker on the wall.  It is the perfect picture of serenity.

I am laying on a massage table with a heating pad that runs the length of the table beneath me. I have my head gently resting on a pillow and a blanket which was placed carefully over me.

Sounds good doesn't it?

Except in my mind, in my crazy mind... I am screaming, in the beginning, I am totally irrational.   I keep telling my mind to just shut up for crying out loud (or in this case, in my head).

You see, I have needles all over my arms and the tops of my hands and these needles are all touching nerves and any little tweak, tweaks my nerves. Does it hurt...psh, uh...no.  In fact, all my places that hurt to begin with didn't hurt anymore.

I was laying there uncomfortable but totally pain free.  I made my mind shut up and relax and concentrate on the fact that I am feeling NO PAIN.

Life is good, but then I have to sneeze. I'll be honest. I totally said "shit" out loud. Three times I felt like I had to sneeze and three times I kept it at bay. Whoo.  I can't imagine what sort of fun that would have been because see the blanket was resting gently on top of the needles and I was most definitely not going to move an inch.

So let's rewind to how I ended up becoming a human pincushion.  Saturday, I took my kids to get their flu shot. I ended up getting mine too. I also showered before I left and got Hubbins into his chair. The kids appointment was at 10:45 and mornings are the worst for me.  So this was huge. By the time I got home, I was starting to feel it.  My mother had been bugging me to go to this crafters market because I actually want to open my own store and sell some of my crafts online and at these craft fair types of things.    Anyhow, my mom ended up getting mad at me because I told her I wasn't going at the last minute. Literally, jacket on- purse in hand.  Just could.not.do.it.  After she left, I cried because I'm tired of people being mad at me and not understanding, I am tired of being tired and I am tired of the pain.

So, I guess you can say my mom interrupted my pity party when she called to say she had just seen this acupuncturist who fixed her arm (she has bone loss in her arm and it's torn some) in seconds using pressure points.  She had told him about me and he said he could probably help. Well, to cut to the chase , my mom came and got me, took me there, he did some pressure point work on me and I still had a tiny bit of pain in my arm (the pain that was making me cry) but I could turn my head. It had been MONTHS since I had been able to turn my head without turning my upper torso.

So I made an appointment for Monday.

I hate needles. He asked where the pain was and I told him and he just picked up my hand and stuck in the first needle. I felt a pressure, but not pain and suddenly the pain I was talking about was gone.  As embarrassing as this is. I was like a kid in a candy store.  The more he poked the needles in the less pain I had.  The night before, I had taken an ibuprofen because my pain was at a level 12 at least.  At the risk of tmi, but in the interest of those coming to this blog for this info, I was in the middle of a flare up and flo was visiting. I don't know about anyone else but flo makes my pain waaaaaay worse.  I avoid drugs until I just can't take it anymore. So I still had the ibuprofen in my system so my usual spots weren't bugging me but that didn't stop me from having him poke for those spots either.

It wasn't until the lights went out and I was laying there with nothing to do but think of the needles in me and this*. LOL!  It felt like forever and a day. But it was more like an hour and 15 minutes. Half way through, I got my appetite back. I didn't even know that was missing.   I have NEVER been SO hungry in my entire life.

Of course, after the woman checked on me to see if I was okay, my right nostril blocked off and made it difficult for me to breathe. It appears that the RA pain was totally masking a raging sinus infection. Finally when it was over, I told him about the blocked nostril and he put a needle in my head and moved it around until the blockage cleared.

Here's where ugly comes in. That was yesterday. As soon as I left there and drove through Carl's Jr and scarfed down a meal. I was freezing like an ice pop.  By the time I came home, my head was on fire and my body was still cold. I took my temp and I had a fever over 100 degrees.  I had this annoying tickling burning sensation in my sinuses. I did fall asleep and the fever did break.  I've been dealing with the sinus infection all last night and all day.  My pain did flip. I guess I should mention that I have symmetrical pain... I flare on one side and then sometimes it flips to the other.

BUT, the pain that flipped is totally bearable. In fact if I didn't have this annoying sinus thing I would be feeling incredibly awesome.

When I came home and laid down in my recliner, Scrawn decided to plop herself down on me and do her usual head butt to my knuckles.  It didn't hurt! But the shock came when I went to rub her head. Her fur was so soft. I had forgotten how soft it was and I had never noticed when I stopped feeling that.  Even when I felt my face, I didn't realize how soft my skin was.  I'll admit it, I teared up...but in my defense, flo is still visiting. lol!

All in all, I would say it is totally worth it.  I'm not on any drugs and I don't ever want to be.   I have a list  (knuckles, elbows, flipped pain) for tomorrow.  I think I had the reaction I did because the needles allowed the release of my sinus infection.  My mom went and saw him today and she did not have any where near the same reaction.  I'm sure the doc will either have some kind of herb or antibiotic for me tomorrow.

I'm so happy and so scared at the same time.  I don't want this to be a fluke.  I look down at my hands and I see how the swelling is nearly gone and my fingers are almost as slender as they were, but I also see how deformed my knuckles are. The bump that juts out at the side and the width that won't allow me to wear my rings anymore.

I know I have to let it go and I know I have to trust that God does not want this pain for me.  He has a plan for me and I just need to not lose sight of that again.

* Warning, the video is graphic, if you are squeamish or have nightmares easily- don't watch.  Unfortunately, this is the way RA makes me feel except there is no relief in the end.