Dear Mr Postman

AKA-liar and loser who can't deliver mail to save your ass.

I hate you. You don't even try and you unsafely zoom through neighborhoods screaming so loudly into your cell phone I can hear you in my living room--with the tv on and the kids screaming playing.

You don't leave my package and then you LIE and say I wasn't home. I call BULLSHIT and I call it loud and clear. I was home ALLLLLL day as in I left for 15 minutes to get my kids from summer school and came back home. But you wouldn't even know that because you are a liar.

You see when I go get my kids my fence stays unlocked because I'm gone for like a second and when I am home that big white thing, you know the breadtruck looking thing that carries oh say FIFTEEN FREAKING PEOPLE AT ONCE, sits right out front.

So, when you say that the gate was locked and I wasn't home anyway. I have to wonder how much of a strain you put on your neck turning it so far and everything to see my house considering I am RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.

I guess it could have to do with the fact you have no accountability to anyone. You all just shrug your shoulders and say "fuck it" I guess or maybe you spend your time with the packages shaking them and trying to guess what they are, or maybe you don't do jack just because it's all tooo much work.

I called and complained and was reassured that you would deliver my package yesterday or today. I waited until 7 pm for you to come and obviously you didn't. I waited today and then you tell me my package is at the post office.

I call the post office and they can't figure out which end is their ass and which end is their head. So I pay to have something delivered all the way from HONG KONG and you can't even bring it to my block. I have to go get it myself. You keep raising prices but how about paying ME for my gas and time after all I can reassure you my gas isn't any cheaper than yours.

I worked sending out thousands of letters a day for several banks, so many we had three mail runs a day to get it all out. Stuffing, sealing, stamping, sorting, marking them for you guys at the PO so you can't tell me your job is hard. It's called lazy. I understand the job , you matching all those numbers to the same numbers on the box and OH! the same numbers on the houses! can get boring but hey, sooooo not my problem.

Before you all start crying, we need more pay, sending letters is too cheap, how about fucking doing your job, eh?

That is all.