Ring, Ring Ring...

Last Friday was the oldest's 5th grade promotion.

I found out at the last minute since everyone had been so sick. I felt really bad for her because she looked so sad and I didn't know if it had to do with leaving her friends or the fact that family was lacking. I grew up with an absent mother who was there if that makes sense. I don't even think that it's necessarily sadness as much as it is anger.

I started to hate their donors (because after much thought that is what they are) because they put these kids, my kids through this. It made me cry.

A woman came up and introduced herself to me as the mother of a friend of the oldest's. She touched my arm and told me she felt the same way. In all honesty, she put me off the minute she did that because being the witch that I am I immediately thought "Oh really? You're feeling sad for your daughter because her biological mother is a twat and mad because her grandmother is an even bigger one for siding with her and ultimately becoming trash? hmmm?" But instead of voicing that I just stared at her.

She told me that my daughter has been asking her to talk to me about her going over to her house. I told the woman I didn't know and she asked for my phone number so she could call me and we could talk it over and I could see where she lives etc... I went ahead and gave her the phone number.

Fastforward to yesterday, her daughter calls wanting mine to spend the night tomorrow (as in tonight now). I wasn't home but right smack in the middle of dinner about 30 minutes later from when she originally called, she called again.

I don't want horny little girls calling my house looking for a partner in crime. That's what this is. They want to run around the mall acting like a stupid girl and I will not permit it. There's enough stupid girls in the world with out me adding my girls to the mix.

I told the oldest that she is not allowed to receive calls...none of them are. They also aren't allowed to spend the night at anyones house. In the future when things are more settled, I told them they can have friends over here but spending the night elsewhere will never happen. I let her know she needed to tell her friend that and her friend had the audacity to ask why not?

This pissed me off to new levels. I went off. I don't question their mother's decisions that she makes for her children. I happen to know she parades her kids around to auditions, pulling them out of school and all. Her kids just don't cut the mustard but off they go. She encourages them to follow media and the lives of "famous" adults. She wants them to be stars. She tries to flaunt a Hollywood lifestyle and more power to her if that's what she wants but I want my kid to be 12. Real 12, not 12 going on 27.

CDQ is also friends with her twin daughters and it's all very dramatic and love/hate. My kids have already been exposed to things way beyond *MY* years, I don't want the added element of them feeling like they have to wear certain clothes or be certain things to be anyone.

I guess what this post adds up to is the question of why some parents feel they can command their way into their children's friends family. When she spoke to me she said "I know you are very strict...." I'm not strict, I'm normal...everyone else has lost their minds, no?

If I were to have started a conversation with her would it be "I know you are very shallow..." ?

At the end of the day, if roles had been reversed and her child was my own, I would have told her sorry but that's their house rules, maybe there's another friend you would like to invite. But I also would have called, not my child, and spoke to the parent first.

Who knows what's right?