The end...

We went to sign papers for the house. It did not go well. This company is ripping us off. We signed but we are going to call and cancel. It's a very bad loan. That means no new house. It also means a ton of new bills (inspections and appraisals for both this house and the new one) and $1000.00 earnest money lost.

Lose-Lose.

We've been frantically trying to sell this house to those people who buy your houses fast. But they just want to rip us off too. Our house is worth $135,000 and we are willing to part with it for $110,000, just to get us our down we need for the other house but these scam artists only want to pay what we owe on it or less even. We aren't in foreclosure, we aren't even behind in payments. I don't think so. You know? I mean the only thing wrong with the house is a cabinet face I broke in the master bathroom. Not to mention the fact we just put in the new flooring and paint and stuff.

I don't know what it will mean for the kids. I can not live my life the way it has been going. I have no help and if I can't even seperate them...

I just don't know.

House Update

We finally got the call to sign and close on this house we are currently living in today.

We are supposed to close on the other house on Monday.

I've been reluctant to say anything about the whole stressful situation because I won't believe it until I have the keys in my hot little hand and I am opening the door to the new house without a realtor.

I can't even begin to describe the stress.

It all came to a head last week before I started reading Twilight. I had some Girl Scout issues, old house issues, new house issues, homeschool issues, money issues, behavioral issues and well you get the picture. I think it was just a last straw deal...I was having really bad chest pains that were actually making me cry from the intense pain. Hubs wanted to call an ambulance. But I don't have insurance so I didn't want to create a bigger mess and quite honestly like I told him when he asked me what if something bad was happening like a heart attack or something: "What if I don't want to stop it?"

Before anyone starts thinking I am suicidal. I am not. But I'm not exactly wanting to live forever either. I've been ready to go for a loooooooooooooooong time if you know what I mean. I don't want to be old. Call me vain.

So, I'm hoping a huge weight will be lifted once these papers are signed today.

I was thinking the other day. I still don't consider myself a grown up. I still think of myself as a child playing in a grown-up world. Does anyone else feel like that?

I look at all that I am doing and I find myself saying "who the hell do you think you are?" It could just be from my mother who pretty much told me I couldn't do anything for a long time before she opened her eyes and saw that I could. Or it could be the truth. Who the hell do I think I am?

I dunno. I don't even think. I just do. Maybe that's my problem? People ask me how I do it and I think to myself. I don't. I'm a failure. If only you knew.

But then, every once in a while I start to think, I must be doing it because how else is it getting done? Am I fretting over little things? Then self doubt comes in and I feel like that child playing in an adult world.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Better Late Than Never

For the record, I have tried to post this 4 times within the last 3 days... and it still didn't post all the pics. Hmmph.

Followers

Ok, so I know I have multiple degrees in technology but how in the hell do you follow a blog that doesn't have a link that says "follow this blog" ?

I thought I would post here first instead of wasting a bunch of time looking for an answer.

You know something? It's funny that since I've been out of the field, I have no patience whatsoever for computers, software, etc...

So, it's over...

I finally finished the Twilight series.

I was putting it off the last couple of days. Like Kether, I felt compelled to read it and I'm not sure why. But also like Lisa, I am not going to read the Midnight Sun rough draft on the internet.

I don't think I am going to see the movie either. I saw the trailers and well... I don't know.

My oldest is dying to read them. I told her she could read Twilight when she's 14. By the time I was part way through the last book I told her she could read that one when she was 16 or 17, I wasn't sure yet. LOL! I know I'm brutal. She's still waiting to find out what happens with Harry Potter. I need to slow her down though. She's been exposed to too much too soon and I want to try to roll it back some and yet keep it balanced. If that makes sense.

She's telling me all the girls are in love with Edward and they are saying he is their boyfriend. I thought she meant the character in the book but apparently it's the guy who plays Edward in the movie that has them all hot. lol

It made me laugh because it reminded me of when I was younger and I was reading this Christopher Pike book where the main character had the name of the guy I was seeing and even the description of what he looked like. The character was like the perfect boyfriend and I let myself fall into that only to be in total shock at the end of the book when I found out the guy was THE murderer! Totally did not see that coming. I've never done that again. What's that you say? You've never done that... oh...ok...moving on...*blush*

So, now...I have Inkdeath by Cornelia Funke left to read. It is the last in the Ink trilogy. I love those books too. But it's a little hard to shift gears so quickly from the vampire world to the Ink World. lol

I'm going to be at such a loss when I am done with that book. I was at a loss before and ended up with Lipstick Jungle by Candace Bushnell. I like the show (well, up until the next episode I think) but not the book so much.

Any suggestions?

It's 2 am...

I have about 200 pages left of book 4 and I can't bring myself to read them just yet but I can't take myself away from them either...

I glanced back to see if there was a chapter from the next book and all I saw was ....

the end.

Humph.

That slowed me down some.

Really? No more?






PS... Hubs thinks I am crazy and truthfully... I think I've lost it a little too. LOL!

I've been bitten...

See you on the other side,