I have got to post more often

So much to share and pictures, pictures, pictures!

I know I've been saying that for forever.

This one is going to be a quick one though. I have to transfer Hubbins to bed.

Ok....drum roll.....

I actually got to soak in my tub today. It's been over two years since I've been able to get a chance to do that.

2.years.

I have a garden tub, I think that's what it's called. You know those big ones that can fit two people? One of those. I used to use it all the time. But I've only used it once since the kids were placed.

I also got to read a MAGAZINE while I was soaking!

SQUEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel great. I added this lavender soak packet to the water that's supposed to ease muscle aches and pains. It was heaven.

ahhhh!

I promise... I will write more. Still busy getting homeschool up and running and finishing those last summer things outdoors before it gets too cold. Which looks like it will be soon considering we have a freeze warning tonight.

The dogs are in and everyone is out like a light!

Hope all is well with you guys!

I WON!

Hey! Looks like I won something through Blog the Recession. I'm so embarrassed. I haven't replied! Very Cool! I won Jewelry from CheekySweetie.

Thanks Angel and Kristen. I am very excited.

God Answered Me...

Today was therapy for the kids.

Lately, I've been questioning whether I should go through with the adoption. The kids have been very disrespectful and basically just regressing. I've been asking myself why I am putting myself through this torture because it has been torture most of the time.

Instead of having a "normal" life with a few bumps in the road. It's been nothing but bumps with a few hours of normalcy.

I've been physically hurt with scars to prove it in some cases and I've been totally disrespected as has hubs. My house has been destroyed. I spend my time repairing what they have broken so they can break it again or something else.

Anyway, there is no way to adequately explain what Hubs and I have been through this past year without getting into details that I shouldn't put out on the net.

The oldest has been following her mother's footsteps and it scares me. She's only 11. I brought it up at the session and of course it wasn't well recieved. I've told her that I grew up with her mother and that I see her and I know they aren't the same and I don't understand why she is doing this to herself.

I told her that she has the chance to be 11. She's the first in the family who has a chance to have a childhood even if it starts at 11 and not to waste it.

She had a smile pass her lips and the therapist asked her what the smile was about. She said that she was smiling because she would be the first to be a kid.

I started crying because it means so much. The loss of my childhood, having to become parents for family members my whole life, everything I have lost, everything I have been through. I never understood why the strife, why...me? What I had done to deserve this and to live through this and to be through this after surviving my childhood. But today, as I looked at her smiling and being proud of being the first. I stopped questioning my life choices and losses.

I realized yes, I had lost a lot. But because of that loss...look what I can offer. Look at the chance she is getting...the opportunity because of me and my sacrifices. Another step away from the family cycle. Another chance and opportunity at a real life. At that moment, it was all clear. Despite the pain and agony. Despite the loss of myself and my chance at life...Despite it all. If I can reach just one of the kids and let them know it doesn't have to be the way it always has been. It will be worth it.

Just...Lord give me the strength to take it all. Amen.

I love this stuff

Ok, so last week hubs and I went to Olive Garden on a "date".

I *heart* Olive Garden to death!

I really do love their salads. I can practically eat a whole one by myself.

I told hubs we would have to figure out a way to make it ourselves. So later that night I did a search for copycat recipes when what to my disbelieving eyes appeared???

A link to Olive Garden with a question asking if they sold their salad dressing. As bad as this might sound, I actually said a little prayer before clicking on the link to the answer.

The answer was...

YES!! (Can you hear the hallelujah music playing?)

I was so nervous when I walked into my local Olive Garden because the answer really said that only some locations sell it and with our luck, I wasn't getting my hopes up too high.

I'm not kidding when I say I really LOVE this stuff. LOL I know pretty pathetic huh?

Are there any restaurant must haves you wish you could have or make at home?