It will be a miracle...

So, the loan on our current house is currently in underwriting which I guess is the last step for this house to be sold. We are supposed to know more on Monday or Tuesday.

Along that same vein, I talked to the realtor about the house we have an offer on. We should have a final answer some time Monday or Tuesday. The Realtor selling the other house finally got ahold of someone at the second bank, from my understanding, and he was told that they felt they could get more money if they foreclosed.

It is also my understanding that the selling realtor has put in a lot of work to sell this home and doesn't want to lose the sale. It was said that we have put in a great offer and the bank doesn't care about the gazillion pictures of stuff that needs to be fixed nor the ones that apparently the selling realtor also submitted to let them know "hey, you really are getting a great offer and NO ONE else has even come close to our bid." Apparently, they had the house "realtor appraised" a while back and were told they could get more for it. The fact that no one's even bid more than $200,000 (well, except for us, we wanted to be fair), should be a clue to them.

Really, I have searched high and low, we are asking our realtor to look into foreclosures and new construction even because I need, NEED, NEEEEEEEEDDDDDD to have these kids separated before I return them. We are back to square 1 with them because the assholes at the insurance company refuse to give them what they need. As I told the woman, the kid's other drug is a generic and I have no problem with it because it works. I told her they could give them a sugar cube and I wouldn't care as long as it worked. Seriously. I wouldn't.

But 4 kids, lying and stealing, destroying and physically hurting each other. It's getting bad. I've got to say it now. Just in case one of those "super" parents who has nothing on their mind but the one child they are trying to attain sainthood with is reading this. You guys know who I am talking about, no? I'm sure you've read them on other people's blogs.

Don't fuck with me. You have no idea.

I get so tired of some parents with special needs kids who think they are the shit because they will deal with whatever comes their way no matter what. It's not so cut and dry for other people. It can be too much and it comes to a point where that parent is no longer what's best for the child. Why can't those parents see that? They see it as someone not trying hard, someone being a wuss, someone letting a kid down. We don't know the whole story behind anything we read out here. I just can't see why we can't support each other. Instead of stabbing one another in the back. You know?

Anyway, sorry about the rant, but it's been a long time coming. I have all 4 home now and I am homeschooling because I am afraid of what they will do at school. The lying is outrageous and the stealing. I know they are stealing from us. But the stuff I've been finding in the laundry. I can't even imagine.

The other house is the only house apparently in the state, that will accommodate everything we need and is in our price range. When I say everything, I mean everything. This house has a large rec room where I could even do the girl scout meetings and ceremonies easily. Why would this mean so much? I wouldn't be leaving hubs alone for such a long time ( 2 hours) and I wouldn't be far away in case he needed me. That stresses me out to no end while I am running the meetings. I'm always afraid he's going to call me with trouble and I will be stuck because I can't leave the girls.

All I can do is pray. I hate to put so much on this house, but I just know in my heart it's the answer, you know? I know the kids aren't going to become angels, but I also know that I will be able to police them better if they could be separated.

I suspect CDQ is physically abusing the boy but I can't catch her doing it and he won't exactly tell on her. I'm trying to gain his trust but he's just a shell. I can't put him anywhere else. I can't have either one of them, or anyone of them for that matter out loose in the house because of the stealing.

I don't know, I can go on and on. But, at this rate, it looks like this house is the only one out there. It truly would be a miracle from God for us to close on this house Monday or Tuesday and hear from the other house (good news hopefully) on either of those days as well.

I will keep you posted. I know a lot of you are hoping for the best for us and we appreciate it so much.

Hope all is well~!

To Sell or Not to Sell, That is the Question

Hi, yeah it's me, remember me?

I've been buried in life. Doctor's appointments for the kiddos (3 more to go), House Hunting, House fixing, house, house, house.


Last week we had a bobcat come in and relevel the land, take out all the weeds, etc... We are getting ready to sell!

Except this week we looked at another house. Yesterday to be precise and we came to the conclusion that if all the houses were going to be short sales, we needed to sell first or take equity out of our home at least.

We want to put a big down so we can have a lower payment. But that puts us in a weird place. I can't remember if I blogged about it already because I haven't had time to get here to blog.

So, the original house we want is still available. Our offer was declined right off because of the contingency that we sell our house first. They aren't accepting contingencies.

But now that we know that a.) we can make about $500 a month off our house if we turn it into a rental property and that b.) they will be putting in a road that will make it ohsoeasy to get to the city from here about 2 miles away. It's in our best interest to keep the house.

So we are looking at a refinance, withdrawing a small portion of the equity and placing it down on the other house while also opening an account and placing six months worth of mortgage payments for this house in it. If that is even possible. I don't know how the whole lending business happens.

Meanwhile, the state has screwed all caregivers and their clients alike with their new plan to ruin the lives of the elderly and the disabled. Funny enough for a span of a few weeks it was called CLTS (or as Hubs referred to it, clits.) Now it's been changed to COLTS. LOL

Anyhow, my budget has been approved...for 20 hours...for the next 75 days. After that they may adjust it.

Two things here... if I weren't hubs caregiver (we'd be making a hell of a lot more money)...who would wait since May 17 until Sept ? (because I still haven't started) for a job to start? Who could wait?

Second, who can work for only 20 hours a week with no promise of a true end in sight after 75 days? Who can live like that?

It's been hard for us. One might ask how it can be so hard when I did wait and we are house hunting. Well, to answer that, I have no choice. With 5 kids having special needs and Hubs special needs, I'm stuck. House hunting...we need to find a new house because if I don't get these RAD kids seperated, I'm sending them back. We are able to house hunt because of the equity Hubs and I had in the house loooong before the kids arrived.

I did think that I could start up my biz again, but now that homeschooling may be in the picture, it will be totally impossible. Yet, another reason why we must move. New school, where the people will help me and basically not tell me to shut up and go home.

I read the reviews for the schools by the first home we want and there were a few posts from parents with children who had special needs who boasted about how the school bent over backwards to help their children. Soooo, we know there is a good school in that area.

So, at this point, I have a van full of packed stuff from the house that I was getting ready to take to a storage facility but now I don't know if I should waste the money to do that if we are going to keep this house.

We may just find ourselves stuck here despite it all. f---!

Are They For Real?

Yesterday I went in to make an appointment to see the assistant principal at the public school. I took with me Nancy Thomas' letter to the teacher so that she could read it before we met.

I was scheduled to meet her later on that same day. She didn't show. For the second time in her two year tenure, she's scheduled an appointment with me and didn't show. Instead she had the principal fill in for her.

He had not read the letter. In fact, he adamantly stated he would not read it until I had a letter from the kids doctor saying they had been diagnosed with RAD. Are you flipping out, because I did. Pissed doesn't adequately describe what I felt at that moment. How dare he? I mean, by the number of times he checked his watch, it was clear that I was meant to scoot along quickly.

He went on to say that anyone can turn anything in and say their child has this disorder or that disorder and it not be true. Ok...so I'm a liar and I want my kids to have RAD of all the fucking disorders in the world? Maybe I am taking it too personal. But that letter describes the tip of the iceberg compared to what I go through on a daily basis. That's why every word of it is so important to me.

When I told him they had PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder and if he wanted a copy of their neuropsychological evals. He froze. It seemed he was panicked and asked if the school was meeting their needs in those documented areas. Because see, he either thinks I am stupid or knows I am not. I know how they work.

School is no longer about an education. It's about numbers and funding. I worked for a school district, which was the only school district in the entire town- we had all the schools K-12. I was that person who distributed and collected those special tests for No Child Left Behind. I was the one who worked on Academic Yearly Progress (AYP). I know how "important" these numbers are and how they try to change them up a bit for funding.

I know he needs my kids. He needs them in his special grant programs, he needs them in their desk every morning by a certain time to get funding. He needs to meet the laws that say he needs to accomodate all children because he is a public entity or he's in trouble.

He's just toeing the line, getting by, doing the minimal. I'm disappointed. I thought he was good. I thought he cared and that the kids mattered. But I see he's just trying to keep a job. They've had turn over for so long the kids were surprised to see the same principal this year and asked me if he was supposed to leave yet.

Wanna hear a couple of funny things? After he asks me for paperwork with a diagnosis (which I don't have), he tells me I shouldn't be so free with this "confidential" stuff. I told him that I wasn't seeing that my kids had gone to school there for three years already and this is a first, I don't want my kids to be labeled. I tapped the paper in front of him and I said "This...this is important and I need help. That's why you are seeing it." For those who know me in person, I will rarely ask for help, they know this. (Not to confuse it with any work positions because when it comes to being a manager I am all about delegating and teamwork and open communication.) Only if I am at the end of my rope and have no other choice. It's something I am working on and so far everytime I have asked for help I've been threatened and had the door shut in my face, so to speak. So much for that.

Then he went on to say that he's had interactions with me and knows that I am an honest and straightforward person and that he always knows where I stand.

W.T.F.?

Because if you'll remember "anyone can just say that their kids have whatever disorder" right?

Also, that doesn't butter me up. His summary of me wasn't news to me because that IS who I want to be and what I want people to know about me and who I work to be everyday of my life.

Excuse me, ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, so I have called the psychiatrist and I guess we are going to start the boy on meds for RAD since he isn't sleeping and has the same symptoms as CDQ but he has more violent tendencies. Then I can get him his "diagnosis" and the prinicpal can file it in his confidential area where the sun doesn't shine AFTER he reads it.