When I was 11 I used to play the violin in the Orchestra. My mom was totally against it. She used to tell me to stop making all that noise and to put it away. Then she thought it was funny if I had any issues to say that she would play the violin for me.
I still loved the violin and I've always wanted to buy one.
Fast forward to now. My oldest is 11. She came to me asking if she could play the violin. I was so proud. We went and picked up her instrument and bought a few things for it. I was as excited as she was to get my hands on it. Believe it or not. I still have my music. Stickers and everything from back in the day. That's how much I loved it.
I was worried that my oldest had chosen the violin because of me. I asked hubs if he thought I had pressured her into playing the violin. He thought I was crazy because all I ever said to her was that I used to play the violin and I missed it. He said she had already talked to him about it before she even asked me, so I was relieved. I didn't want to be one of those parents you know?
Here's my confession: I've been practicing in my room when she goes to bed. I feel like a hole in my heart is now being filled. I can feel the music through my fingers. The music sucks...but I feel it nonetheless. LOL I've forgotten how to read music and I've never known how to tune the violin so I'm playing it out of tune. Hot Cross Buns, Mary Had A Little Lamb, the Star Wars theme.
I feel like a weirdo but tonight when we took out the violin I was so relieved that I could actually help her with it. Boy does she need help. LOL But I'm kind of proud that I can be a supportive parent and not be like my mother. As I watched her clenching the violin under her chin and pushing the bow so hard against the strings. I couldn't help but try to keep this memory tucked away in my mind and heart. I'm so proud of both of us.
