The Cakes

So my cake decorating class ended the Thursday before last.  Can't say I'll miss it...I didn't really feel like I got anything out of it that I couldn't get from the book...oh, except offended...the book wouldn't have done that but first the cakes! Then I'll tell you what offended me. 

I think you all saw my first cakes here. The pink and white is the one I did before the class started. The Love one is the one I did the second week of class.  Third week of class I did nothing much really. I made some clown cupcakes, oh the excitement! The last week of class I did this. 

Notice the cake pan and how it's smeared? I had the cake on top of all my cake decorating supplies in a rolling cart, when I went in the store the cart went over the track for the door and bounced my cake into the side of the cake holder. What fun!  I was able to fix it but it already wasn't a good day...sort of.  This one is a lemon cake with a buttercream frosting. 

Then I did this for the oldest's b-day: 

I was up all night making these for her class, which caused me to question something else about the school she attends. I needed to make 24 of these. I'm paying for a 13:1 class size ratio...wth?  The reason I was up all night making these? My hand mixer went up in smoke.  Literally. Smoke streamed from the vents on the front. Bummer.  I had to mix everything by hand.  These are chocolate cupcakes with a buttercream frosting. 

Here's her birthday cake. I blurred out her name. She wanted Purple. It's a chocolate cake with whipped icing.  It wouldn't be so bad if my arms weren't so weak and messed up. 

But because of the burnout...Hubbins purchased me this (so he said it was for me, but I hear it is 'ours' now. lol) 

Isn't she awesome? 

I'm in love...

All metal gears....this mixer is not for the weak...lol 

Uh hmm, Moving on... the following week I made this...It's supposed to be Princess Fiona...but well, she doesn't have the red  hair and you can only make a Princess dress pouf out...so, she's Princess somebody.

Don't laugh, it was my first shot at using fondant.  I didn't even have a chance to read the book. In fact, I still haven't.  It's on my to do list.  This was a classic white cake with buttercream frosting and fondant over it. 

Finally, for the last of birthday week, the Strawberry Shortcake cake. This one was strawberry of course with a buttercream frosting. 

I was surprised how easy it was to make.  Unfortunately with the bright colors and all, she was hard to photograph. 

On the last day of my cake decorating class, I had left class and went into the store to buy some more couplers and tips. When I came back in the instructor was bitching about what she was being "punished" for.  

At first, I just thought to myself, "waa, waa, waa"  because it was a lot of bull. Until I heard her say she was being punished for not being a minority.  Then it was on. Especially since I was the only non-white person in the class and I could tell from the tense silence in the room that people realized at that point that I had returned.  Even the instructor ended her rant there. 

Uh, yeah... I wanted to tell her that maybe she was being punished because she was stupid considering the sole fact that she is a woman makes her a minority as well. Dumbass.  I can't believe that there are still people out there that believe that affirmative action is the ONLY reason minorities get jobs.  Really. Whatever helps you sleep at night... 

Also,  I couldn't help but hear that she was being "punished" for HER choices.  Woman up...you made these choices...you had choices. Damn!  

And uh, NEWSFLASH!!!! EVERYBODY is having a hard time finding jobs and making ends meet.  Just because it crossed your path doesn't mean the world is out to get you.  Look around and be thankful.  You just sold a house and bought a house.  Should I judge you for it, nah? But c'mon...you were lucky to sell your house and you talk about having to move to a smaller house. I know for a fact where you bought your new house that no houses are smaller than 2000 sq ft AND you only have 2 kids still at home.  You aren't being punished too badly are you?  You're making money "teaching" cake decorating when the class basically teaches itself.  You are kept. I would shut up if I were you. 

And that, my friends was why I was offended. lol 

Imposter...

Ok, so I have to admit. I haven't been posting because I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It did, but I'm not going to talk about that right now.

Hubbins and I were so sick over the weekend and the first part of the week. Thankfully it went away.

So, I've been doing a little bit of this...

and a little bit of that...

I call this Hubbins Snuggie. See he can't feel from the shoulders down but he gets cold from the shoulders up and his blankets usually fall in his face and get in his way when he's doing things. So I decided to make this and see how it goes. It looks like a big tube top. LOL He loves it. It stays out of his face and the yarn is so soft, bulky and warm. You can see his eyes are droopy from getting sleepy in it's warmth.

Yesterday was my second cake decorating class but our first actual day of decorating. This is my first cake after getting the book and being unable to contain myself. I played with the tips.

Below is my cake from last night. I had an epiphany last night as I sat there piping away without a care in the world. (Yes, without a care in the world.) Speaking of worlds, I was totally in my own little world. lol I felt like I deserve this. This is good and fun and I deserve it. Driving to the grocery store after. I realized that I might say that I deserve something, even something as small as an ice cream cone, but I don't really believe it. I've never thought it and believed it before. It was such a peaceful happy feeling like I earned it fair and square. After all, it seems that everything I touch turns to poo or something no matter what I do.

Then I started thinking about my kids, is this how they feel? They want something, and they tell themselves they deserve it (and boy do they) but they don't really believe it? If they blame themselves for things that happen is that how they feel? But then again, do they really blame themselves? They are always pointing the finger at each other. BUT, if they didn't blame themselves, why do they "punish" themselves? Lots to sort through.

I haven't finished thinking this thought through but I realized today when I got angry about something (well, let me explain when I get REALLY REALLY angry, I cry and I hate it!) I started slamming my fists down on my legs (no, the children didn't witness it) and in the middle of it, I was thinking "what am I doing?" I realized that I was hitting myself to make myself not cry and to suck it up dammit! But the whole reason I even realized it was because CDQ does it and so does the boy and SS. After that, I also realized that I do things like them. I don't really do it in front of other people, but I have banged my head as hard as I could against the wall, even a brick wall. I still have to process this... but damn....seems like *I* have RAD doesn't it?

At any rate, I am trying to be good to myself. Yesterday, before class, I went and had my hearing checked. I already have some hearing loss, but it's progressed some and I need hearing aids. $2100.00 for both ears. I have a weird form of hearing loss. It's the reverse of what everyone else who has hearing loss typically gets. I can hear women and children's voices- their pitch is fine and I have no problems apparently. But I can't hear men's voices. This amused me to no end. Hubbins is always telling me that he's asked me for something and I'm always telling him "no you didn't". So when the ear guy told me that I couldn't hear men's voice range, I cracked up. He told me that I could tell Hubbins that I'm really not ignoring him and I haven't developed selective hearing. LOL

The other thing that amuses me is, in the past, people have often asked me how I could work in the field I did. It was a typically male dominated field. All those times, I was called a bitch or when it seemed like someone was looking at me expectantly...MAYBE I DIDN'T HEAR THEM. That's why it wasn't so bad. LOL!

Next time, how the state of California may or maynot screw us again...