Crickets, Police calls, what next?

So, I've been pretty damn busy with my farm on facebook cleaning and stuff. But it seems my deep cleaning of my bathroom brought out a family of crickets.  I don't know if it has to do with the type of hearing loss I have, but the sound of a chirping cricket is like nails on chalkboard for me. So this time of the year and especially this year for some reason is excruciating.  For five nights in a row, I've had a cricket chirping in my bathroom. 

Let me clarify. Night 1, caught the cricket and released it outside (yes, I'm dumb). Night 2, repeat, night 3 repeat, night 4 repeat...day 5...ran out to the store and bought a plethora o'crap to kill the suckers because by then my peacefulness and catch and release feelings were loooong gone.  Sprayed and discovered that the crickets were outside in the eaves of my house.  This after having the oldest help me look for the cricket and thinking that it was behind the bathroom mirror.  This after her climbing on our tub and trying to hear if the sound of the cricket was coming from there and this after her promptly falling in to said tub and doing some sort of splash park slide along the side of the tub bringing down my plant and covering herself with soil along the way. 

I know she could have been seriously hurt but man oh man I have not laughed so hard in a long time. I'm talking deep wheezing belly laughs because I got to see her fall from behind and her facial expressions from the front reflecting in the mirror. Priceless. 

At any rate, I sprayed relentlessly. Then that night, I was so happy, there were goosebumps on my shoulders and the back of my neck. I was THAT happy.  I did the happy dance and gloated like mad. I was at peace. Of course, I still had my insomnia and couldn't fall asleep until about 2 am when I drug my exhausted butt into bed and laid there staring at the ceiling finally drifting off... approximately 5 minutes later (no exaggeration), I hear the cricket, my eyes pop open. "You've gotta be F'ing kidding me." Hubbins can't believe it either. 

I go into my bathroom and there in the same exact spot is another cricket. kid.you.not.   It's just looking at me chirping away. ARGGGHHHHH! No more ms. nice guy. I grabbed the vacuum sucked that damn cricket up and set it outside, vacuum and all.  Some of you might be thinking..well that's nothing....but the next day was Hubbins program day and I just happened to empty the vacuum canister into the same bag and toss it out.  That's all I'll say about that...but I can reassure you all it was not just crickets being crickets...IT WAS A CONSPIRACY!

Last night I was prepared to do the "cricket dance" but instead, instead we had total silence which was pretty damn awesome until I heard the chain on the gate rattling and Hubbins had heard footsteps by our window just before that. Someone was in our yard. They removed the gate from it's hinges, came in and released our "younger" (12 years old) dog and who knows what else because I have not been out there since last night when it was pitch dark. 

I had yelled out the window "who's out there?" in perfect stupid girl who dies within the first minute of the horror film fashion. Because they could see me in my room perfectly but all I saw was darkness outside.  Then I simply said I was calling the police.  To which any one could easily watch me sit down and google the police department and then pick up the phone. I know...

Yes... I googled our police department. I didn't think it warranted a call to 911. I had my trusty solid metal bat and my car alarm panic button in reach. I waited and waited for over an hour. I posted on facebook while I waited, I tended to my farm in Farm Town. The whole time, I kept thinking I should be more...I dunno. I just felt like I should've been more scared...or you know maybe caring is the word( I was thinking of my friend Kether and other friends who have told me I am too calm and carefree about these types of things) . So, I got up and shut the windows in the kitchen, living room and game room.  

I heard the neighbor car alarm across the street go off. She came out with her dog 15 minutes or so later. I was going to go outside but then I remembered I was supposed to stay inside until the police came. I shouted to her through the window.  She must think I am crazy. She is new and we haven't met before. She yelled that a dog was loose.  I told her to hold on and I went outside. By the time I got there, she was gone.  But I saw the damage to my fence and then I saw my dumb dog peeing by her steps and then kicking with her hind legs to cover it. Son of a .....

I called our dog back and when I went to put her collar back on with the tie down, I saw that it had simply been removed and placed on the ground. Not happy. 

The police finally arrived over an hour later. My dogs didn't even bark. He suggested I get a new younger dog like a boxer or a sheperd.  At least one who will bark. I joked that my dogs were too old to care anymore.  But I realized, they really are. Ava only barks when she's hungry and Dellyne only barks when she's stuck. Grrrrreat...

The officer fixed my fence and told me all about how my neighborhood sucked and how they are always out here. Not in those exact words but still...Lovely. He asked me some questions about the people around me. But we both agreed that it had been pretty good since the gangbangers across the street were foreclosed upon.  I know that's bad...but the gunshots and cars tearing  out of here were the final straw for me. 

Today I am going to change the way the hinges are installed on the gates. I think I have a better way than what the installation instructions said. I'm also going to eventually install some flood lights. I don't know if I will get out today but I do know that I am tired of the crud around here.