My kids are getting older and puberty has definitely set up shop in my home.
One of my kids is on the fence.
The fence, you say?
One of my kids is incredibly confused because that child likes girls and boys. Is that a surprise to me...no. I have an idea about a couple of my kids but do I know for sure what that outcome will be...no.
Apparently, that led a couple of the siblings to fight dirty using sexuality to bully and belittle said child.
All my children already suffer from self esteem and self image issues.
*sigh*
This was tough. We addressed the bullying. We also addressed the sexuality issue. I will not stand for any bashing or any discrimination of any kind. I don't understand what there is to "tolerate". We are all God's children and he made us in His image. We are to celebrate our differences and as long as we aren't hurting others we are good to go. The. End.
I know that is not how "others" think. I know that some people are confused and think they are God and they sit in judgement and think THEY can offer salvation...really...
The hard part was putting my finger on what exactly was going on. I didn't want to come out and say if so and so likes the same sex then that's all right.
Why I didn't want to do that? If it wasn't true I didn't want to box said child in, especially if the child is confused or being told those things to try and humiliate said child.
At a loss, I sort of put the child on the spot. I asked if the child thought physical things about the same sex (attraction) or maybe if they just thought the other person looked nice or liked something about that person that maybe they wanted to emulate.
I also explained to the child that I wasn't intending to put anyone on the spot and I explained how I just needed to know a little more information before I said what I had to say because I didn't want to be a jackass and go off on an assumption and be totally off the mark.
Said child told me there is an attraction to both sexes. I said that was fine and then I went on to say what I had to say. We talked about why people feel the way they do about certain topics and if they thought it was ok to treat people badly because of their own insecurities (because God KNOWS we get that here in RADville). We had a long discussion about fear and hate. I think we left the table with a better understanding of others and I don't think we will have to revisit the topic. I also sense there was a release for said child because there was a change in the face and the child's hunched posture. I do believe this child and myself have many conversations in store for us in the future. But I will have to be patient and let the child go through whatever it is that is happening while still keeping a close eye.
I just worry I'll mess it up. I've heard so many horror stories of gay children who have come out and who have been beaten and disowned. Others have run away rather than come out and ended up in situations none of us want our children in. My children have nothing to fear but I don't know how to make sure they know that without a shadow of a doubt. I am their biggest supporter. Since things were so hidden and secretive I worry this child will hold it inside for fear of being rejected. It's par for the course in RAD children.
If any of my children are gay, I have no problem with that. It makes no difference to me. I just want them to be in healthy, loving relationships; Not the "relationship" they witnessed in their parents. I won't say that I'm not worried. I know how cruel the world is and I can only begin to imagine the hatred and the fear my child/ren is/are going to encounter. I also know who I am and how sorry whoever F$%^# with my kids will be. RA or not...
Yep, I'm THAT mom and I'm equal opportunity. LOL
If only we could keep them in our own little worlds, right?
One of my kids is on the fence.
The fence, you say?
One of my kids is incredibly confused because that child likes girls and boys. Is that a surprise to me...no. I have an idea about a couple of my kids but do I know for sure what that outcome will be...no.
Apparently, that led a couple of the siblings to fight dirty using sexuality to bully and belittle said child.
All my children already suffer from self esteem and self image issues.
*sigh*
This was tough. We addressed the bullying. We also addressed the sexuality issue. I will not stand for any bashing or any discrimination of any kind. I don't understand what there is to "tolerate". We are all God's children and he made us in His image. We are to celebrate our differences and as long as we aren't hurting others we are good to go. The. End.
I know that is not how "others" think. I know that some people are confused and think they are God and they sit in judgement and think THEY can offer salvation...really...
The hard part was putting my finger on what exactly was going on. I didn't want to come out and say if so and so likes the same sex then that's all right.
Why I didn't want to do that? If it wasn't true I didn't want to box said child in, especially if the child is confused or being told those things to try and humiliate said child.
At a loss, I sort of put the child on the spot. I asked if the child thought physical things about the same sex (attraction) or maybe if they just thought the other person looked nice or liked something about that person that maybe they wanted to emulate.
I also explained to the child that I wasn't intending to put anyone on the spot and I explained how I just needed to know a little more information before I said what I had to say because I didn't want to be a jackass and go off on an assumption and be totally off the mark.
Said child told me there is an attraction to both sexes. I said that was fine and then I went on to say what I had to say. We talked about why people feel the way they do about certain topics and if they thought it was ok to treat people badly because of their own insecurities (because God KNOWS we get that here in RADville). We had a long discussion about fear and hate. I think we left the table with a better understanding of others and I don't think we will have to revisit the topic. I also sense there was a release for said child because there was a change in the face and the child's hunched posture. I do believe this child and myself have many conversations in store for us in the future. But I will have to be patient and let the child go through whatever it is that is happening while still keeping a close eye.
I just worry I'll mess it up. I've heard so many horror stories of gay children who have come out and who have been beaten and disowned. Others have run away rather than come out and ended up in situations none of us want our children in. My children have nothing to fear but I don't know how to make sure they know that without a shadow of a doubt. I am their biggest supporter. Since things were so hidden and secretive I worry this child will hold it inside for fear of being rejected. It's par for the course in RAD children.
If any of my children are gay, I have no problem with that. It makes no difference to me. I just want them to be in healthy, loving relationships; Not the "relationship" they witnessed in their parents. I won't say that I'm not worried. I know how cruel the world is and I can only begin to imagine the hatred and the fear my child/ren is/are going to encounter. I also know who I am and how sorry whoever F$%^# with my kids will be. RA or not...
Yep, I'm THAT mom and I'm equal opportunity. LOL
If only we could keep them in our own little worlds, right?
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