The other side...

I've started this post as well, but this time I'm going to finish this one...lol!

I definitely have things to say about my last post and this incredible epiphany I had...

But for now...the flip side. Why we keep holding on...why what we do makes a difference even when it seems like we are complete failures.

 Last weekend we had a BBQ. It was a beautiful day.  There was a slight breeze and the kids had been dying to plant our "garden". We have been wanting to do this for years but because of safety reasons we never could.

 As I stood out there delegating jobs to kids, it donned on me when they were getting down to the job at hand that it was peaceful.  There wasn't a child verbally insulting another child. There wasn't a child inside raging. There was this:

Let me hold that while you cut it.

and this:

Do you think we should put this here next to this?

I think we need a bigger hole in the bag, but I'll help pull it out. 

Even an opportunity to teach about feelings.

It feels soft to me or I feel picky sticks in it. It's wet to me. Really? It feels dry to me.
The lesson: Everybody's experiences are different.

Then came the picking of the plants. 

See the smiles and the focus. Not a single fight or argument. 

I loved how they helped each other. I loved that while I took these pics, Hubbins was describing to them what they needed to do. 

Meanwhile, my grandmother even got in on the action. When I was younger I remember she always wanted an umbrella and table out in the front yard and she always wanted to have a garden but my grandfather wouldn't let her.  That day she sat out under our umbrella  between the picnic table and the grill and she watched the kids plant. They had decided the strawberries needed a place of their own and Nana was more than happy to help them out with it.  Another want of hers accomplished. I am so proud she got the chance, even if it's one plant in a pot...

We are healing...my kids transitioned much more easily then I did. I've had to learn that if I don't watch carefully and focus on the now, they might just leave me behind. 

These days we are dealing with typical sibling behaviors.  In fact, I know I have a draft all about an incident prior to this one that just melted my heart.  I will post that later. (Really, I will, lol.)