When Bios Show Up...

So the kid's bio mother showed up at my house.

Sadly, it had truly nothing to do with the children. She wants me.  She wants me to pay for all she has done.  Everything regarding her life and the kids and her bad choices are my fault.

Yeah.

She was outside my house screaming.  Some people drove her here from the state she resides in. I called the police.

You will all love this part. Even with the TPR, even with the closed adoption agreement, even with the offer of supplying birth certificates.... I have no help.

This is what I was told,

These matters change all the time, if she had a court order to see her children, she would be allowed.

Uh, What. The. Fuuuuck???

I guess closed adoption means nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.

Bottom line, it's a civil matter and they are just here to keep the peace.

Funny thing, I wanted to press charges for abuse, they told me I couldn't because she had already been charged and convicted and it would be double jeopardy.

So in other words, she has to abuse my kids again and then I can go after her.

My kids are hanging in here. I was able to divert them with music in one of the rooms at the back of the house. They knew something was up but they never saw her or the police. I decided to play it straight with them and tell them the truth. They all had stomach troubles last night and ate twice as much as they normally do. We had an impromptu slumber party and watched episodes of Man V. Food until nearly midnight.


I decided to go the truth route because I figured we needed a plan. What if they had been playing outside? What exactly are they supposed to do if she shows again? So we covered those things. We also talked about how one of their worst nightmares had come true and how they are safe, protected and loved and how everything is still the same.  CDQ actually clung to me for comfort. She has never come to me before like that.  That's a breakthrough right there. I also told them that although I could understand why they felt so afraid, she should also realize that they are not helpless babies anymore.  They are strong kids with voices that count.  I told them when they were little she probably seemed like such a big big person to them but in reality they are probably almost as tall as her now. (She's 4'11")

I wanted them to feel empowered.

As for me, there must be a God because I begged Him for help.  I wanted to kill her and it was a fight between mind and body.  My body was shaking so hard from restraining myself.  I kept telling myself how much the kids and Hubbins needed me. I called my mother and stayed on the phone with her.  If I hadn't, I don't know if I would have stayed inside.

As far as the RA, I've found a way to eliminate inflammation through herbs and supplements and I have been building up my weak muscles, but with the adrenaline that was pumping through me, I don't think it would have mattered. I know that this isn't the answer, but all I can think of is how my kids could finally feel safe if she weren't walking this Earth.

Oh and to the assholes who sold my information for $50, I hope you get your just rewards and it was worth it, because I blame you and once I find out which place it was, there will be trouble.